Jegsy Scarr

If this is true...

16 posts in this topic

Hi guys!

Okay, so I was browsing a Catholic blog, just browsing through the archives, and whatnot, when I saw something I thought you guys would find interesting...

Only problem is, it's a second-hand source, quoting another blog, and because it's an old post none of the links are working, so I'm just having to take their word for it that this was actually published...

I’ve been carrying around this clipping from my friend’s Cosmo for a few months now, it’s from their ASK HIM ANYTHING column:

Q. I’ve been with this guy for two months, and we’re really into each other. There’s one problem, though: He keeps pressuring me to have sex with him, but I’m not ready. I want to wait six months to make sure it’s right. Unfortunately, my man thinks that’s ridiculous and is getting annoyed, but I’m not about to change my rules. If he liked me enough, wouldn’t he be patient?

A. Let me make sure I read that correctly. You want him to hold out for six months? You’ve heard of dog years, right? Well, there’s also such a thing as guy years—and six months of waiting for sex feels like two years to him. See, a guy needs sex as part of a balanced man-diet. He needs it like he needs calcium, iron, and buffalo wings. If a man isn’t getting his nutrients, he turns into a cranky, whiny baby. And do you really want that disaster on your hands? As long as you don’t have any issue with premarital sex, I suggest you bump up that due date. After all, you say you’re really into him, and it’s already been two agonizing months—so what exactly are you waiting for? I mean, what are you going to learn about this dude in four months that you don’t know by now?

I mean, if that was actually published...then what is the world coming to?!

Okay, so...what does everyone think of that?

xxx

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I mean you're definitely right; it does make me thInk what's the world coming to...but then again I'm really not surprised. For the premarital sex crowd I suppose 6 months is a long time idk...but it is disheartening for sure. The sex thing isn't necessarily what gets me with that article..although it is one thing...but the whole "what will you find out in the next four months that you don't already know about him?"...um what?!?! If that's true why isn't the writer suggesting they get married? What an asinine statement...

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uggg! not cool advice.

yes guys have a sex dive but if he can't wait for her then he isn't worth waiting for in my personal opinion.

and she shouldn't feel pressured either by her boyfriend or others either.

sad advice but i know people do think that way these days.

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Honestly what do you expect from Cosmo, they line their pockets selling sex as does most of the free world. At the end of the day if you don't feel ready for sex with someone you don't feel ready, your gut instinct is usually accurate. The fact that someone is pressuring you should automatically make you write them off, what good is a selfish, manipulative, condescending person?

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I agree with TLW. To expect anything less from Cosmo is like acting surprised to find naked women in a Playboy magazine. We are talking about the magazine that writes articles titled, "25 Ways to Please Him" in one issue then a few months later, a similar article is written with 25 completely ways.

This is just stupid. Society has made sex into something that it isn't. They make sex out to be something that is akin to oxygen and water. Sure, sex is a human need, but unlike food and water, it is not necessary for personal survival. I mean, you could argue tongue-in-cheek that it is necessary to preserve one's sanity, but you get my meaning. I may sound harsh in saying this, but I think anyone who buys into the mentality of things like Cosmo probably has really low standards. I think it's safe to say that anyone in our WTM community would be appalled at the idea of anyone pressuring their partner into sex. That should be an automatic red flag for any of us. Anyone who pressures someone into sex is selfish and does not care about you. This article alone makes men seem like petulant Neanderthals who just think with our penises. I mean, yes guys probably crave sex way more than girls do, but come on. Have we fallen so far as a society that we think of guys with honor and integrity as mythical creatures?

Every time I stand in line at the grocery store, I just want to grab every issue of these magazines and just set them on fire in the store. It breaks my heart that this is common reading material among women. All these magazines do is give them low expectations of how guys and relationships are like. It's even worse knowing that my sister reads this crap.

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It's incredibly true.

Normal men do have very high sex drives.

Yes, we think of it alot.

Yes, we crave, desire, lust, imagine, etc.

Yes, it is one of the strongest desires we possess.

It makes me cranky and irritable, and it does feel like every 6 months is 2 lifetimes (let alone 2 years).

But that does not mean that you should listen to anything this article says.

Go with your own moral standards and internal conscience.

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Oh my god! What terrible advice! I cannot believe that was published, even by cosmo.

You do not encourage someone to have sex when they are not ready.

As for guys having a crazy sex drive, yes I can believe that its true. But its not a reason for someone to coerce A girl into having sex. I think that article is appalling.

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lol yea there's a reason I don't read any of those magazines / articles hah,

Anyone who pressures for sex is only in the relationship for sex.

And I completely disagree with the 6months 2 years thing, thats only being said to justify/excuse having sex imo. But I've also never had my moods affected by it either like Jacques mentioned, so maybe some guys are that way. However, just because we have high sex drives doesn't mean we need to act on it, and if its unbearable, well most guys are perfectly capable of keeping things under control without help.

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It's to be expected. Of course, readers of that magazine would probably find even 6 months too long!

That said I don't approve of any time-based waiting. You shouldn't be waiting for three dates, or six months, or a year--they all share the same flaw.

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Although i personally think that is crappy advice-wanting to wait until marriage and everything- that ais the writers OWN personal opinion, not everyones opinion. Just some sad, i dunno, 40 year old singleton whos probably disappointed or regrets they're own love/sex life, so feels the need to corrupt someone elses just to make themselves feel better.

Sorry if that sounds harsh and rude to the the writer, but thats what i always think about these 'advice' columns in magazines these days. Thats why i never read them.

Im sure a lot of people who read that were appauled with the advice, some might have agreed with it. I think the best thing to do is just to avoid reading anything that seems disheartening towards you're own morals. I mean, if i proof read something that says: 'waiting until marriage' then 'stupid'. I just avoid it completely cause i know my own values, and dont need to read anything that puts them down.

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I am so glad that other people read these kinds of magazines and feel this way. Every time I even read the cover, it makes my heart plummet to the floor that people seek guidance from this garbage and, chances are, abide by what the columnist replies with. A lot of the questions women have wrote in about make me feel like a wiser person because guys like that are an instant write off.

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Yeah, Cosmo is an awful magazine...I thought, just to make a point, I'd look up their website and have a look at the front cover of the latest issue. On the cover:

Same Man, Hotter Sex: 8 ways to max your pleasure...And His.

You vs Cellulite: How to finally win the war.

Fashion Frenzy!: Say hello to our 397 best HIGH-STREET buys.

Hot, Sexy Hair: Smart new tricks to up-trend your style.

Saturday Night Style: Mollie and Rochelle on men, break-ups and fashion disasters.

And their website says that also in this issue:

What He's Really Thinking: Cosmo creates handy flow charts to help you answer important relationship questions and reveal his true intentions.

Love Letters: Couples are encouraged to write love letters (I love this!) in a bid to tackle rising divorce rates. Cosmo finds three couples to put it to the test.

Meet the Single Bridezillas: Cosmo reports on the new generation of bridezillas and how they feel finding a fiancé is just a minor detail in their wedding plans...

Cosmo Campaign: (This is so ironic...) Need convincing to join our F-word campaign? Take a look at these tweets to help persuade you that feminism is both relevant AND necessary.

Reboot Your Sex Life: Feel like your sex life is stuck in a rut? Then you're not alone! Check out these key sex troubles and find out how to leave them outside the bedroom door...

Wow! What an insightful magazine! You know what, I think I may subscribe!

xxx

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Well, I think this is...sad. For me, what kind of stands out is the mentality of "instant gratification" as well as the idea that your body doesn't really deserve as much as respect as it should be given (it can easily be thrown out for an experience of a one night stand for example). The last line in the post, I also thought to be a little disturbing. I also notice another type of mentality as you look at a Cosmo magazine, or even meet people - people with values or with a perspective different than societal trends tend to be overlooked.

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Can some1 please explain to me the appeal of this magazine? I'm not trying to be a smart@$$, I just really don't get it. Honestly, how does this magazine do so well and why is it so famous? Can't you read about sex and get crappy advice anywhere? Ladies, please enlighten me?

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Can some1 please explain to me the appeal of this magazine? I'm not trying to be a smart@$$, I just really don't get it. Honestly, how does this magazine do so well and why is it so famous? Can't you read about sex and get crappy advice anywhere? Ladies, please enlighten me?

I think it appeals to the whole "fun fearless females" persona that masquarades around as feminism these days. I do read cosmo from time to time. I dont find it that bad....if you take it for what it is and with a large sized pinch of salt. Though I must admit I was appalled by that article. I couldnt believe that someone would publish such terrible advice. I did read an article in Cosmo about why casual sex and one night stands was damaging and dangerous. Mostly I like the fashion pages and the confessions...they're funny.

I think Cosmo is on a par with askmen etc. They are useful for informing yourself about what goes on these days in the casual sex society and gives you great insights into how the minds like the douchebag above work. Information is armour for me. If I know what's going on I know how to protect myself.

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there is a difference between controlling your hormones and being controlled by them. 

that guy is just immature. 

don't lower your morals standards. keep them high. obviously if any guy pressures you into having sex tell him to keep on walking. 

never compromise your morals. 

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