Jegsy Scarr

"Losing" your virginity

21 posts in this topic

This might be a really short discussion, but I think it's worth having anyway...

Does anyone else really hate the phrase "losing your virginity"? I mean, I don't want to lose my virginity! I want to give my virginity to my husband, knowing that he'll treasure it forever!

"Losing" it sounds like, you had sex with someone who didn't really give a damn that you were a virgin, didn't care that you were giving them something priceless and irreplaceable, and just wanted to get laid.

Am I being really old fashioned? I just think that, there's so many people in the world who have their virginity against their will and would give anything to back, and yet there's so many others who feel like losing their virginity is just something to get "over and done with".

xxx

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I have to admit, I'm not one of those people who really cares about virginity. I value SEX, and virginity just comes with it. So I would never have sex with a guy I didn't love with all my heart, or who didn't love me with all his heart. But I'm totally fine with losing my virginity on a trampoline or in a tent while camping or whatever. It doesn't need to be all romantic and stuff. It's no big deal for me. It's just a weird piece of skin that even scientists don't know why women have it. I'm not "losing" anything nor am I "giving" anything away - to me, I am just "having sex for the first time." lol. It's just one time amongst a whole bunch of others with the man I love!

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It's just a weird piece of skin that even scientists don't know why women have it.

The hymen does not connote virginity. Men don't have a hymen, but we still have virginity!

Additionally it could be broken by myriad non-sexual daily activities! Horesback riding, sports... etc.

I've actually read that most women have their hymen broken through means other than their "first time". (tampons, aforementioned activities)

I know it's semantical...Just sayin... :lol:

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i guess it all depends on the person, we all have different personalities so we all see and take things differently. for some it does not matter and for some it does... it all depends on the value that the person puts towards it..

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I'm not crazy about the phrase myself...I mean its use typically comes up in a discussion of "so when did you lose yours"...ehh not a great conversation imo. I agree Jegsy I think its used mainly by people who place no value whatsoever on sex...i.e. people trying to "lose it" as fast as possible :wacko:

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Maybe the phrase "giving your virginity" is better suited for those of us who are WTM. To me, it makes it sound like virginity is a gift rather than something that was misplaced like it would be in casual sex. By "giving" our virginity to our spouse, we are essentially glad to entrust something special to the one who we commit our lives to.

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it DOES kind of sound like i just misplaced it... it's somewhere around here... I just put it down on the table, on the bed, left it in my pants pockets LOL. not really the most sensitive turn of phrase is it?

I like EB's "giving your virginity". I certainly felt like I saved my virginity until i was ready to give it to my wife.

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YES!

Virginity is not something to be "lost" (or, more accurately, "thrown away"), it's something to be given (to your husband or wife, of course!)!

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I have to admit, I'm not one of those people who really cares about virginity. I value SEX, and virginity just comes with it. So I would never have sex with a guy I didn't love with all my heart, or who didn't love me with all his heart. But I'm totally fine with losing my virginity on a trampoline or in a tent while camping or whatever. It doesn't need to be all romantic and stuff. It's no big deal for me. It's just a weird piece of skin that even scientists don't know why women have it. I'm not "losing" anything nor am I "giving" anything away - to me, I am just "having sex for the first time." lol. It's just one time amongst a whole bunch of others with the man I love!

This is what I don't like about certain people who don't care about virginity. It's not just a piece of skin, as I've said before.

Of course, even if it were, I still wouldn't accept the view that it's something to just get rid of, as opposed to giving it to your spouse.

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This might be a really short discussion, but I think it's worth having anyway...

Does anyone else really hate the phrase "losing your virginity"? I mean, I don't want to lose my virginity! I want to give my virginity to my husband, knowing that he'll treasure it forever!

"Losing" it sounds like, you had sex with someone who didn't really give a damn that you were a virgin, didn't care that you were giving them something priceless and irreplaceable, and just wanted to get laid.

Am I being really old fashioned? I just think that, there's so many people in the world who have their virginity against their will and would give anything to back, and yet there's so many others who feel like losing their virginity is just something to get "over and done with".

xxx

Agree 100%

YES!

Virginity is not something to be "lost" (or, more accurately, "thrown away"), it's something to be given (to your husband or wife, of course!)!

Agree 100%

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it DOES kind of sound like i just misplaced it... it's somewhere around here... I just put it down on the table, on the bed, left it in my pants pockets LOL. not really the most sensitive turn of phrase is it?

I like EB's "giving your virginity". I certainly felt like I saved my virginity until i was ready to give it to my wife.

Oh Ian this made me laugh!!! :D

Yeah, I guess I hadnt really thought about it much but now that you mention it the term "losing your virginity" does make it sound like its somthing that's not worth a whole lot. I think gifting or giving your virginity is a much better term.....but only for people who actually value the act of sex and place an importance on their first encounter.

I guess its not even that descriptive for everyone else who is dying to get rid of it. Instead of "losing their virginity" they are "tossing their virginity away".

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I definitely prefer "giving your virginity" to "losing your virginity". Too me, that does sound more accurate.

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I never thought about it this way, but now that i think about it, it makes so much sense to me. I usually hear the heartbroken say that they lost their virginity to somebody else as opposed to giving it to somebody else. I might just be over analyzing [because I do that quite a bit >.>] but when comparing definitions and their meaning, it has always been better to give than to lose.

My mind has been forever changed now. :3

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I think when people say they "lost" their virginity, they mean it in a negative context. As in they regret who they gave it to.

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The hymen does not connote virginity. Men don't have a hymen, but we still have virginity!

I grew up with the influence that virginity is about the hymen. I have some friends who have never had sex but don't consider themselves virgins because their hymen broke during bike-riding or gymnastics or something. I have changed my views that hymen=virginity, but I personally have never even liked the word "virgin" anyways. Why should there be a name for people who have never had sex? It's not like you'd call an eight-year-old a "virgin." That word only applies to people 13+, which is why I really hate the word. It's ageist, if you get what I mean. Probably one of my least favorite word in the English language, especially now since it is unfortunately viewed negatively in this hook-up culture. :(

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Probably one of my least favorite word in the English language, especially now since it is unfortunately viewed negatively in this hook-up culture. :(

You know now that I think about it I feel pretty much the exact same way. I mean, obviously I am a virgin and I don't shy away from it but as far as the term itself is concerned I think it has a negative connotation, especially in popular culture. Think The 40 Year Old Virgin movie; it implies involuntary celibacy which doesn't describe any of us here. Our waiting is voluntary. Its a conscious decision. Many people just don't/can't understand this; which is why the term has that negative connotation to many.

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With my husband on our wedding night i wouldn't see it as losing it but rather giving it instead.

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I believe it is something, an experience, you SHARE with your spouse, and only lose if you regret you decision.

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I believe it is something, an experience, you SHARE with your spouse.

I think miilliee said it best, it is an experience. The term Losing your Virginity is thought of as a rite of passage, however if you break it down, verbatim, it means you separate people into two different classes. Those who have it, and those who don't. I have done A LOT of reading into it and if I had to state a statistic I would say that 80% wished they waited and 20% don't care. Now someone people who don't care may say that because they don't feel the gravity of their decision. When they meet the person they choose to spend their life with they may wish they waited. Of course there are also people that simply don't value the awesome power of "giving your virginity to your spouse as a gift." Furthermore, I find it odd that a lot of couples (in the reading I have done) attempt to not have sex for several months before their wedding day to make it feel as though it is a "first" experience. Why would they be doing this if they were not in some way attracted to the idea of "Virginity on one's wedding night?"

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Furthermore, I find it odd that a lot of couples (in the reading I have done) attempt to not have sex for several months before their wedding day to make it feel as though it is a "first" experience. Why would they be doing this if they were not in some way attracted to the idea of "Virginity on one's wedding night?"

I've known people personally who have done this. If that doesn't vindicate waiting I don't know what does (not that we need vindication but still lol). Deep down I honestly think a lot of people feel like its the right decision even if they don't practice it.

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