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To be content.happy,or move on??

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Ok, so I'm new to this and am still unsure of how it works but here we go! So my birthday is coming up soon and I am afraid. I have been with the same guy for quite some time now. Unfortunately I have a super low self esteem and I don't know if it is all in my head or if he helps encourage the lowness. He is always adding a bunch of girls to facebook and chatting with them(nothing bad) but he also tells them how cute,pretty,gorgeous they are. He doesn't know I see his facebook and it makes me feel like craP BECAUSE THEY ARE ALL SO MUCH PRETTIER THAN i AM. Sorry about the caps. He has this problem with letting go also...and when his ex looks like a model and I feel like Java the Hutt....It's hard to be comfortable. I want to be the woman that will make him the man he wants to be but I will never be as good as she was. I don't know if i should keep on trying,stay content, or just let him go. He spent all day last year on my birthday talking to his ex and being mushy and sent her a really sweet gift on her birthday...so I am scared about how this year is going to go..Please keep us in your prayers and any conversation/insight is welcome!

                     Thanks much!

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I think his behavior is inappropriate and very inconsiderate of you. I wouldn't tolerate it myself. Would he be bothered if you complimented other men on Facebook, the equivalent of what he is doing? Honestly, I've always thought "that guy" flattering other women looked incredibly pathetic, and did a disservice to his girlfriend if he even had one. Don't get too absorbed into the shallow side of things: Facebook reinforces a false view of reality (which is why I don't have a Facebook and prefer to be with someone who also doesn't, or at least doesn't spend much time on there and uses it correctly). Also, he should never prioritize his ex over you, not any day of the year, and definitely not your birthday. <_< This lack of relational maturity or empathy leads me to believe it would be in your best interest to move on from him.

1 hour ago, NotTheOne said:

I want to be the woman that will make him the man he wants to be but I will never be as good as she was.

I think the issue is his not desiring to be as great of a man as you deserve, and not the other way around.

Did you have self esteem issues before this relationship?

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You're not wrong to feel the way that you do.

But honestly you're better off leaving him. This relationship will do more damage to your self esteem when it should be the place that elevates it. 

2 hours ago, NotTheOne said:

He spent all day last year on my birthday talking to his ex and being mushy and sent her a really sweet gift on her birthday

Sorry but anyone who does the above, it's inappropriate and honestly if it were me, i would break up with him immediately. You deserve so much better and he's treating you like crap at this point. 

Walk away and God will see you through it. You'll be thankful in the long run even though it seems hard now. 

My only question is, would he have not shown signs of this type of behaviour before you started dating him? If someone talks about their exs too much, that's an immediate red flag for me because it shows that they aren't over them.

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I appreciate all of the feedback but I feel kind of dumb for making this my first post out of introduction. I am really interested in getting to know everyone^-^

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41 minutes ago, NotTheOne said:

I appreciate all of the feedback but I feel kind of dumb for making this my first post out of introduction. I am really interested in getting to know everyone^-^

I think the others are right. That being said, please do not feel dumb about this being your first post. You'll get to know people here in time, but you obviously need support and feedback right now, and that ok.

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Iono...sometimes Ibreally do think I am only overreacting. But whether he is open about it or hiding it..I feel like my opinion on it should matter. I told him yesterday someone called me gorgeous then some more and he said he doesn't care as long as they aren't hitting on me...so maybe he truly is just being friendly? He has no clue I have access to his facebook and one of his emails. He is a stickler when it comes to his privacy.

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