Innocence

Would you consider yourself a virgin if...?

40 posts in this topic

Firstly I will say this topic and the definition of a virgin is very sexist because it only applies to females, so some replies that reference males from my perspective is irrelevant, if the question was to have been asked without making references to the dictionary definition then it would have been ok so making references to dictionary definition makes the topic explicit and trying to water it down to suit each individual ideology wether it's upbringing or rape experience is to me wrong and please I mean no disrespect to my brethren whose experienced such. So back to question in hand, my answers to question 1,2&3 is NO. And you cannot use 100% purity when it comes to human relationships without being a virgin with reference to both females and males. With women it's very easy to know if the lady is a virgin or not( this also includes the use of tanpon), but not so easy for men, if they lie about their virginity there is no way to know unless they 100% honest with the fear of God.

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Hi this is my first time posting in here so just to let all know I say it as I see and believe. One according to the dictionary a vergin is one who has never had penis into vagina. ( a tampon is not a penis ) therefore the use of one is not sex. You can not look at a person and know whether or not they are in fact a vergin, male or female. A woman can have a test to see if the Herman is in tact, however this dose not meen she is not a vergin but at some point had an injury to the abodomen . As to the dictionary's definition this should be changed to one who has willing gave in to penis in vagina.

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2 hours ago, Jon said:

Firstly I will say this topic and the definition of a virgin is very sexist because it only applies to females, so some replies that reference males from my perspective is irrelevant, if the question was to have been asked without making references to the dictionary definition then it would have been ok so making references to dictionary definition makes the topic explicit and trying to water it down to suit each individual ideology wether it's upbringing or rape experience is to me wrong and please I mean no disrespect to my brethren whose experienced such. So back to question in hand, my answers to question 1,2&3 is NO. And you cannot use 100% purity when it comes to human relationships without being a virgin with reference to both females and males. With women it's very easy to know if the lady is a virgin or not( this also includes the use of tanpon), but not so easy for men, if they lie about their virginity there is no way to know unless they 100% honest with the fear of God.

I don't remember anyone here saying virginity only applies to females. The definition of virgin according to dictionary.com in a sexual context is defined as "a person who has never had sexual intercourse." It doesn't say "a woman" or "female" so it applies to both men and women. So I'm not sure where you're getting that idea from.

Second of all, the breaking of the hymen can occur without the act of coitus. She can break it in a variety of ways such as sitting on a bicycle seat or during a thorough medical exam. Even after coitus, a woman's hymen doesn't always break. So she could not be a virgin and still retain her hymen. I also would imagine any self respecting woman would be insulted if the man she was involved with wanted to check her hymen out of disbelief. Because that shows he doesn't trust her and therefore she shouldn't be with someone like that anyways.

Bottom line is, there is absolutely no 100% foolproof way to tell whether a man or a woman is a virgin or not. It all comes down to whether you take their word for it or not. What is more important in my view is trust, commitment and love. That may not be enough for some people and I get that. All I know is that it's good enough for me.

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3 hours ago, Unretired Granny said:

Hi this is my first time posting in here so just to let all know I say it as I see and believe. One according to the dictionary a vergin is one who has never had penis into vagina. ( a tampon is not a penis ) therefore the use of one is not sex. You can not look at a person and know whether or not they are in fact a vergin, male or female. A woman can have a test to see if the Herman is in tact, however this dose not meen she is not a vergin but at some point had an injury to the abodomen . As to the dictionary's definition this should be changed to one who has willing gave in to penis in vagina.

Hi there and welcome :) I would like to get your thoughts on the points below: 

1. So what about anal and oral sex? They both have the word sex in them so how is it that doing both of these could still allow you to call yourself a "virgin?" In my opinion, it's a bit ridiculous when people say I've done X, Y and Z but I'm still a virgin. The best that you can really call yourself is virgin*

2. What about the gay or lesbian people who end up only having sex with people of the same gender. (I mentioned this in my previous post) Those people would say they have lost their virginities when they've had anal or oral sex so to limit it to penis in vagina is a technicality and an advantage that straight people have over gay and lesbian people. By accepting that the only way to lose your virginity is via penis in vagina sex then according to that definition - there are a lot of gay and lesbian people who are still virgins. If you talked to them, they would definitely not say that they are virgins and that they lost it doing X, Y or Z. I agree with consent being a part or the definition but my main issue with limiting virginity to PIV sex is as described above. 

Personally my definition of a non-virgin is much wider than that (anything that includes genital touching/stimulation of another person or an activity with another person that pushes you to orgasm with them). However I am not demanding something I have not adhered to myself and would not be willing to be with someone who has done those things due to the lack of exclusivity that this would bring into marriage with my future spouse. 

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I agree with you, Dictionary.com and Oxford English Dictionary, says  " A virgin is some who has never had sexual intercourse"  it never said male or female and I never said in my post that anyone said,"virginity only applies to females ", I how ever said it, referencing the original posters dictionary definition of a a virgin which was , "Penis inside a virgina " and that quote right there only said vigina and last I checked its only women that have viginas. 

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19 hours ago, Invincible said:

I don't remember anyone here saying virginity only applies to females. The definition of virgin according to dictionary.com in a sexual context is defined as "a person who has never had sexual intercourse." It doesn't say "a woman" or "female" so it applies to both men and women. So I'm not sure where you're getting that idea from.

Second of all, the breaking of the hymen can occur without the act of coitus. She can break it in a variety of ways such as sitting on a bicycle seat or during a thorough medical exam. Even after coitus, a woman's hymen doesn't always break. So she could not be a virgin and still retain her hymen. I also would imagine any self respecting woman would be insulted if the man she was involved with wanted to check her hymen out of disbelief. Because that shows he doesn't trust her and therefore she shouldn't be with someone like that anyways.

Bottom line is, there is absolutely no 100% foolproof way to tell whether a man or a woman is a virgin or not. It all comes down to whether you take their word for it or not. What is more important in my view is trust, commitment and love. That may not be enough for some people and I get that. All I know is that it's good enough for me.

I agree with you, Dictionary.com and Oxford English Dictionary, says  " A virgin is some who has never had sexual intercourse"  it never said male or female and I never said in my post that anyone said,"virginity only applies to females ", so to answer your question as to where I'm getting that idea from, I said it, referencing the original posters dictionary definition of a a virgin which was , "Penis inside a virgina " and that quote right there only said vigina and last I checked its only women that have viginas. 

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17 hours ago, BlackRose said:

Hi there and welcome :) I would like to get your thoughts on the points below: 

1. So what about anal and oral sex? They both have the word sex in them so how is it that doing both of these could still allow you to call yourself a "virgin?" In my opinion, it's a bit ridiculous when people say I've done X, Y and Z but I'm still a virgin. The best that you can really call yourself is virgin*

2. What about the gay or lesbian people who end up only having sex with people of the same gender. (I mentioned this in my previous post) Those people would say they have lost their virginities when they've had anal or oral sex so to limit it to penis in vagina is a technicality and an advantage that straight people have over gay and lesbian people. By accepting that the only way to lose your virginity is via penis in vagina sex then according to that definition - there are a lot of gay and lesbian people who are still virgins. If you talked to them, they would definitely not say that they are virgins and that they lost it doing X, Y or Z. I agree with consent being a part or the definition but my main issue with limiting virginity to PIV sex is as described above. 

Personally my definition of a non-virgin is much wider than that (anything that includes genital touching/stimulation of another person or an activity with another person that pushes you to orgasm with them). However I am not demanding something I have not adhered to myself and would not be willing to be with someone who has done those things due to the lack of exclusivity that this would bring into marriage with my future spouse. 

First let me say what I believe is for myself as I am not the one to judge. I believe there are two types of virgins, a the physical loss which can happen in many ways i.e.: willing giving ones self to a completed sexual act. Then there are the moral vergins whom have had theirs stolen by force. Today there is so much confusion about what is or is not a virgin I think each person should practice what is right for them and not judge others by what they believe. I heard of a person who believed if one even thought of sex they are not a vergin and if that is the case then we are all doomed. I will also say that my thinking has evolved a lot sense I was a young person, I am much more tolerant then when I was young. So in finding a life partner one should look for someone who believes in similar mind frames.

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50 minutes ago, Unretired Granny said:

First let me say what I believe is for myself as I am not the one to judge. I believe there are two types of virgins, a the physical loss which can happen in many ways i.e.: willing giving ones self to a completed sexual act. Then there are the moral vergins whom have had theirs stolen by force. Today there is so much confusion about what is or is not a virgin I think each person should practice what is right for them and not judge others by what they believe. I heard of a person who believed if one even thought of sex they are not a vergin and if that is the case then we are all doomed. I will also say that my thinking has evolved a lot sense I was a young person, I am much more tolerant then when I was young. So in finding a life partner one should look for someone who believes in similar mind frames.

I have heard the definition where if you think about sex you are no longer a virgin which I do find a tad problematic.  I agree that people are entitled to their own opinions. I've built mine based on the contradictions that the mainstream definition brings so really I would be looking for someone on the same wavelength as me on this topic otherwise the relationship wouldn't work and there would be no further discussion to be had with that person. 

How long it takes me to find them/them to find me (or God to allow our paths to cross) is another matter lol 

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On 5/21/2017 at 5:11 PM, Invincible said:

I don't remember anyone here saying virginity only applies to females. The definition of virgin according to dictionary.com in a sexual context is defined as "a person who has never had sexual intercourse." It doesn't say "a woman" or "female" so it applies to both men and women. So I'm not sure where you're getting that idea from.

Second of all, the breaking of the hymen can occur without the act of coitus. She can break it in a variety of ways such as sitting on a bicycle seat or during a thorough medical exam. Even after coitus, a woman's hymen doesn't always break. So she could not be a virgin and still retain her hymen. I also would imagine any self respecting woman would be insulted if the man she was involved with wanted to check her hymen out of disbelief. Because that shows he doesn't trust her and therefore she shouldn't be with someone like that anyways.

Bottom line is, there is absolutely no 100% foolproof way to tell whether a man or a woman is a virgin or not. It all comes down to whether you take their word for it or not. What is more important in my view is trust, commitment and love. That may not be enough for some people and I get that. All I know is that it's good enough for me.

Wouldbyou consider someone a virgin if they never had intercourse but performed oral stimulation and recieved the same?

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1 hour ago, NotTheOne said:

Wouldbyou consider someone a virgin if they never had intercourse but performed oral stimulation and recieved the same?

Depends on what you mean by "oral stimulation." If you mean mutual masturbation then no, it would not be a loss of virginity, though it would still be an impure act. If you mean oral sex, then definitely they are not a virgin. Contrary to popular belief, sexual intercourse in it's actual definition isn't limited to coitus.

 Sexual intercourse as defined by Merriam-Webster dictionary:

Quote

Definition of sexual intercourse

  1. 1:  heterosexual intercourse involving penetration of the vagina by the penis :  coitus

  2. 2:  intercourse (such as anal or oral intercourse) that does not involve penetration of the vagina by the penis

So while it's usually understood that intercourse refers to coitus, it is not limited to that. It is extended to sexual penetration of any kind whether it is vaginal, anal or oral.

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2 minutes ago, NotTheOne said:

What is the difference between masturbation and sex? By means of oral?

The difference is "sex" in all its forms involve penetration. Masturbation on the flip side, does not.

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13 minutes ago, NotTheOne said:

How can you orally masturbate? Not being rude...just confused.

I just realized I made a mistake. I don't know why I thought oral stimulation had anything to do with mutual masturbation. I blame lack of sleep. lol. So disregard that part. Sorry about that. But it still stand that oral sex is still intercourse.

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That is my take on it as well...I argued with my boyfriend about it and wanted to know if others felt the way i do.

 

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