Am I still going to heaven?

9 posts in this topic

I have been a Christian since childhood. At first, it was the typical 'I don't wanna go to church' or 'I'm bored' scenario. But I grew closer to God as I grew older and ultimately accepted Jesus as my savior. I am so blessed by Him, and I strive to continue to grow even closer as I get older


My boyfriend and I have been together for over three years now and although we are both waiting till marriage, we are sexually active. 


It has been a constant struggle for us. Is it really a sin? Is what we're doing okay?

I've overcome a lot of guilt that I had before by what we do, which might or might not have been a mistake. 


I do pray and ask for forgiveness almost every day with this unsureness but I continue to fall right back where I was before. I have noticed that although I ask for forgiveness I do not believe it genuinely. I don't really feel sorry for what I'm doing. Ultimately, I look forward to eventually getting married to my boyfriend, and that then everything we do won't be an issue anymore. 


I know for a fact that if we wouldn't be doing what we do, that the temptation for sex would be much greater, and that we probably would have already done it by now. I am not asking you to tell me that I need to try and stop what we're doing, because we have tried that several times (months at a time), so I am not asking you to tell me off.


I am simply asking: will I still go to heaven? Can one ask for forgiveness for something I don't feel sorry for? Can I ask for forgiveness for not feeling sorry? Do I not have to ask for forgiveness, because by accepting Jesus as my savior all my sins have been washed away?



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Sorry, how can you be sexually active and are still waiting till marriage?

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I don't know. will someone still be on your good side if they offended you and you know they are not sorry in act, only in words? I dont hold the keys to heavens gate so I dont know if you are going in. I think you should ask the one who does.

After reading your fifth paragraph, I'm surprised you still don't know why you keep falling right back. See if you think like this, then you won't be doing enough to get out. and honestly I too dont understand what you mean by waiting since both of you are still sexually active.

I will just point you to Rom6 and Rev21vs8. This time dont ask man for understanding, ask God.

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Ok it's like this: we do everything except sex.

I should have formulated the question a bit differently. It shouldn't have been: am I going to heaven, but are my sins still forgiven? Deep in my heart I'm well aware of what I'm doing. It's kinda like if someone asks you a question and you consciously lie to him/her but don't feel guilty about it.

I basically feel guilty for not feeling guilty, if that makes sense?

And I have to point out that although my bf is also a Christian, the wanting to stop doing what we're doing has ALWAYS been from my side.

I know I should ask God, and I have! I'm trying to resolve this problem, so don't see me as someone who's stubborn or rebellious. I'm just getting very worried that if I'd like die soon that this one small stupid thing which I can't seem to feel remorseful about would cost me my salvation...:/

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God has forgiven you. You don't need to worry about going to hell.

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Hi Lexxi53 :)


Thank you very much for sharing this with us.

I hope my answer will help you... but may be you won't like it at first.

But your salvation is something that is highly important and I care very much.


If I have understood well what you said, you do every sexual thing with your boyfriend, except the concrete intercourse ?

And you know deep down inside that is not honoring God, but nevertheless, you don't feel guilty and you ask for forgiveness just because you know  intellectually God doesn't approve.

And after asking for forgiveness you do it again. And you have tried to stop...but it's difficult.

And your boyfriend doesn't even try to stop, and doesn't even feel guilty for this...


I understand very well the situation and I do understand you. Because we are human beings.

But as we are christians, as we have accepted Jesus Christ as our Lord and Saviour, the Bible tells us  that God gave us the strength, the ability to overcome all kind of sins.

We have no excuses.

And yes it's true, if we have sinned, we can ask God for forgiveness and He will forgive us...


If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness


But remember that even if God forgives us, there are still consequences for the sin. And forgiveness doesn't prevent that from happenning.

The Bible tells us that our bodies are the temple of the Holy Spirit and that we are holy also. Our bodies are very precious for God.

Your body doesn't belong to your boyfriend.Neither his body belongs to you.

The Bible tells us that only when a man is married to his wife, his body belongs to her and vice versa.

So, really, the fact that you allow him to touch you sexually is a sin. And the fact you touch him sexually is a sin.


1Corinthians3v16 -17

Do you not know that you are a temple of God and that the Spirit of God dwells in you? If any man destroys the temple of God, God will destroy him, for the temple of God is holy, and that is what you are.



Flee immorality. Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but the immoral man sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own? For you have been bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body.


So, the hard answer to your question "Am I still going to heaven"  is in this following verse of the Bible :



For if we go on sinning willfully after receiving the knowledge of the truth, there no longer remains a sacrifice for sins, but a terrifying expectation of judgment and THE FURY OF A FIRE WHICH WILL CONSUME THE ADVERSARIES.…


This verse is totally clear. Very clear.


Now, as we are children of God, God wants us to glorify HIM with our bodies, mind, soul...with everything that we have.

And God wants that our relationships and our marriages bring honor to HIM.

Whether we have a friendship, an engagement or a marriage.. in all those cases, God wants the glory.

If your relationship doesn't bring you closer to God...it is a big warning signal.

That means that is a carnal relationship.. and at the end, you won't benefit from it...

TO do what is rigth can be very painful and extremely difficult sometimes.

BUt the reward is always so great. That is worth it.

Sex is beautiful in the covenant of marriage; that is the plan of God.


You already know what you have to do and God can help you to do it if you really want. Even if it's difficult.


I have  a question : when you talk about this to your "christian" boyfriend....what does he say ? Does he feel concerned ?

Does he want to marry you someday ? And if it's not the case, do you realise all the regrets you will have ?


Our acts are the consequences of our thougths. Our thougths are the consequences of what we listen to and watch.

I am sure if you meditate upon the BIble day and nigth you won't have those kind of thougths and even if you are tempted you will be strong enough to resist.


I suggest you the following reading : the book "Clean" from Douglas Weiss

I also advice you to meditate upon the BIble day and nigth. I know that can be hard but it's necessary.

I advice you to surround you with very strong christians who practice the Word of God.


If you want to PM me, I will gladly answer to help you. I pray for you and ask God to help you to get out of this in the name of Jesus.


My best friend made me discover this amazing channel and I think it could help you. She gives accurate advices in her videos.

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Thanks for all the supportive comments :) I really appreciate it :D 


No one should think anything bad about my boyfriend, please :) he is the greatest guy I've ever met and we've talked a lot about marriage, but he says he's just not ready for that yet (and we are still quite young) and I agree with him.


I've talked to him about this today and we've decided to try and abstain from doing the deeds for a while and then just talk about how we feel and try to figure out a plan to get stronger against it. 


Although I know that I am on the right path to doing what needs to be done, I still can't find it in me to feel guilty about what we did. We love each other and I know for sure that we will be married one day. (I know that doesn't excuse anything). I am hoping that in trying to turn my back on this, God can see that no matter my views on this matter, he knows that I do what he wants me to do.

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I'm not a strict follower of the Bible so I don't think I'm qualified to give an answer lol, what I will say is that God is extremely forgiving and that, as far as I understand the Bible, if you confess your sins and ask for forgiveness, he can take you away from the dark and draw you into the light. It's always going to be a struggle, because we are only human and anger and selfishness are part of our own preservation and instinct, but if you generally keep a lifestyle of doing positive things, I don't think a slip every now and then is indicative of who you really are.

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I think if you're worried about whether or not you're going to heaven, it would probably be better to read the Gospels over again.

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