Clara

how can i stand strong?

4 posts in this topic

Hi everyone,my name is Clara and am from Nigeria.i have decided to wait till marriage.yeah am not a virgin.now my problem is am in a relationship and my partner doesn't seem to understand my view i keep going back.how can i correct this mistake?should i quit? What do i do?.am just 20.

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Welcome Clara.

You are just starting your adulthood and getting things set up the way you want and need them to be in your life.  That privilege and responsibility is solely yours and no one else's.  No one but you gets a say in how your life is going to be.  Saving the beauty of your body and the intimacy of sex for the man who marries you, the man who actually commits to sharing the rest of your life with you, is a very noble and wise decision.

If you had a husband you both would share the life you are setting up so he would get to have a say in things.  Your boyfriend, he made no such decision, commitment or, promise.  If he had, he would be married to you.  His life is his own and he can do whatever he wants with it.  However, he has no rights and no say in how you run yours.  If you choose not to have sex with men who don't love and think enough of you to be your husband and spend the rest of their life with you -- your current boyfriend included -- that is your decision and not his.

If he can't or won't respect that and live with it free of complaint and harassment then it's an indication that he doesn't love you as he should, that he doesn't love you as you are entitled to be loved.  As such he has absolutely no business being a part of your life.  If however, he loves you enough to let you set your life up the way you feel is best and supports you in your decisions then, it is an indication that he loves you enough to want what's best for you and what you feel comfortable with.  Such a man might be worthy of having a place in your world.

A male who will only "love" you if you give him sex is a male who doesn't really love you at all.  Saving sex for marriage weeds out those types of males so that you can find the man who truly will love, care about and, respect you.

If you don't stand strong, protect and, take care of the life you have ahead of you, no one will and; that life will end up someplace you never wanted it to be.  You must fight for your life and make a conscious effort to steer it in the direction you want.  If you don't, someone else -- perhaps your boyfriend -- might take the wheel and drive it into the gutter.

6 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi, Clara! I'm sorry you are having to go through such a hard time. It is admirable you want to set these values as a standard, but if your partner can't understand your position, much less respect it, this could be a problem down the road. BigMat's post puts thing more eloquently than I could (Good job, Mat) and it would be wise to consider his words. Best of luck to you and remember that you have a place here.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now