K.G.

Military Relationship...

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Could you marry or even date someone who has or is persuing military career? If not, why, and if so, how?

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I've, actually, thought about this a lot over the years. Yes. I absolutely could. You see, I'm the type of person that very much values and enjoys my space and time. So, the time away from each other would only make me enjoy our time together more. I could even marry someone who does anything that takes long hours or travel. I've seen hell a few times in my life, already, and that makes me know that I can handle even the worst things in life. I also have this odd view that most people don't hold...if we are lucky enough to grow to a ripe old age together, I (unlike most people) hope that he gets to go first. Why? You might wonder. That's simple. I already love even the idea of him so much, that if he loves me even a fraction of this amount I would hate for him to endure the pain of losing me...I'd rather endure it, because, as I've said, I know I can.

I have no idea if this makes sense to anyone but me, or how it even sounds, but there you have it. My thoughts.

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I have and I'm not sure if I can again. He suffered ptsd so it was a limit to what can and couldn't be said, watched, or listened to. As much as I cared about him I always seemed to be the enemy and after he'd calm down he'd apologize but I still felt "trapped." I didn't break up with him I had him break up with me because if I did I'd feel like I abandoned him. He said he couldn't continue to hurt me anymore and feared that if it continued he'd end up putting his hands on me. He was a gentleman so I never saw that happening. I did find things that helped him a lot so when I'd call I'd say different slogans to see if he was in his right mind at the time and when he was we'd talk about the future and he'd say how he wanted to build a home for us and extentions so our parents could live with us and how he'd want lots of kids and go to church.... when he wasn't in his right mind we'd talk or he'd listen to me talk or read my poetry thay he loved so much. I ended up giving them to him so he'd always have something to keep his mind off of things. I've never been a fan of fireworks but I hate them even more when I saw how he reacted to then. I'm not sure I can say that I was in love with him but I can say that I did and still do love him and if we run into each other I'm sure we'd become friends.

Maybe I'd be with someone who isn't suffering ptsd. My dad was military and he's alright and never had ptsd so if someone like that came along I'd try it but if they have ptsd I'd have to think long and hard about it.

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if we are lucky enough to grow to a ripe old age together, I (unlike most people) hope that he gets to go first. Why? You might wonder. That's simple. I already love even the idea of him so much, that if he loves me even a fraction of this amount I would hate for him to endure the pain of losing me...I'd rather endure it, because, as I've said, I know I can.

 

Interestingly, when my sister worked at a pharmacy and dealt with people who just lost their spouse she found women seemed to deal a lot better with it - the men were wrecks. 

 

Maybe I'd be with someone who isn't suffering ptsd. My dad was military and he's alright and never had ptsd so if someone like that came along I'd try it but if they have ptsd I'd have to think long and hard about it.

 

Generally however, working in the military gives you a pretty good chance of developing ptsd if you are anywhere neat combat....

 

Personally, I would not marry someone pursuing a military career for reason of the physical distance it would create and more value-driven motives. While I'm all for defensive capabilities I strongly disagree with the current take on military matters in most countries. Don't want to see my wife supporting/getting traumatised/killing people/getting locked up for protest over conflicts I (and hopefully she) cannot allign with my/her values. 

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Maybe. Being in the military is hard. It takes a toll on everything. Knowing my husband seen things I will never experience or understand is scary. I know tons of soldiers having a hard time coming back home due to trauma. They relive it everyday. I might not be able to handle that.

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Wow I'm still in traing but I know I'm here only because God and the holy spirit showed me I need to be in the Army! Pray for me!

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Yes I would, perhaps because I love people who know what is the meaning of sacrifice. It also gives me an impression of heroe or something like that.

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