Sophie

Are there any types of people your parents would absolutely NOT approve of you dating/marrying?

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I said this in another thread, but my dad's side of the family is Jewish so dating/marrying an Arab would not be the best idea because they are very pro-Israel (as we have a lot of family there and lost all but one relative in the Holocaust.) My dad, himself, said he'd only care if the man I was dating was anti-Israel in any way. My mom and my mom's side of the family couldn't care less about what race I date. Obviously my parents would hate it if I dated an abusive guy. And I think they would be very, very upset if I dated/married a guy without a university degree and a good job. My dad would HATE it if I dated/married a smoker. Also, to my dad, any religious belief is the highest form of illogicality, so I'm sure he'd prefer it if my boyfriend/husband was an atheist (as would I.) But I do have free reign to date/marry who I please, I just know my dad has some preferences which he would never actually enforce. if I married an atheist-Jewish scientist who can also sing opera, that would make him the happiest dad on Earth. lol.

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Very interesting question. I've never really thought about that. My honest answer is I don't really think so lol...my parents are pretty cool about that kind of thing and really as long as they thought I was happy they'd be fine. Only thing I could think of might be religion...we are a Christian family so if I married a non-Christian they probly wouldn't think that was ideal but they'd be fine with it if I was happy (although I could never see myself doing this)

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I think the only things absolutely required are that he be kind and have a sense of humor. I have a biracial half-brother so that is definitely not an issue, and religious preferences wouldn't be a deal breaker. They might be a little thrown off if I brought somebody home covered in tattoos but thats about it. lol.

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I have often wondered whether it's just harder for guys to bring girlfriends home than it is for girls to bring boyfriends home?

I have to admit - like Mike - I'm not sure any of my early girlfriends survived the first meeting or two LOL. I was super nervous I'll say... and so I don't know that I ever had a girl in the house before we were kinda serious... so that undoubtedly put extra pressure on "meeting my girlfriend"... (the reverse of "Meet The Parents").

My parents NEVER made me feel I couldn't date anyone. I grew up in a pretty diverse area - and so are my kids now - so the most important thing even with "meet the girlfriends" pressure - was that I SEEMED HAPPY.

If I seemed happy and relaxed, then they were ok. If I was overly tense or stressy about a girlfriend, then the eyebrows went up and they didn't approve... they were afraid I was trying to be something I'm not, or trying to be some sort of idealistic version of myself for her, or living some odd other-world me.

And PS it never ended. Even my wife suffered through this with me and my parents LOL! And of course... all worked out well... because they soon saw that I was happy... which is all they ever wanted in the first place. :-)

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I'm so thrilled that I have never been faced with getting my parents approval for the guys I have dated.

My Mom told me that as long as I was happy and the guy treated me right, that is all that matters to her. From time to time, she has voiced her opinion about an ex boyfriend, but not with intentions of breaking us up because it's never been anything terrible. It's always been something small like," I thought that was really immature of him when he said or did [whatever it was he said or did]." And two to one, she was right about it. She's also pretty good about telling me if she thinks the guy is right for me or not. My Mom and I are very close, so I find myself sharing almost everything with her.

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I've been fortunate enough to have been blessed with a pretty amazing family. I have one sister who has had two children out of wedlock (to the same man) although they have been together for more than a decade now, and my parents are fine with that scenario because they will eventually get married (hopefully). And I also have one brother who married a Muslim woman (he is now Muslim himself) so I know religion is not an issue for them either. I was raised to never discriminate against someone because of their faith, or race, or sexuality. I think as long as my parents felt I was happy they would be ok with whoever I chose to marry. I have never actually brought a woman home to meet my parents and I don't think they have ever met any of my ex's. For me, bringing a woman home to meet my parents is a VERY big deal.

I don't know how they would feel about a woman who had tattoos that predominately covered her body. Truth be told, I would probably never date a woman who was covered with tattoos so they wouldn't have to worry about that. The only issues that I think they would have would be scenarios where my spouse was abusive or worked in a profession that was considered inappropriate (pornstar) or relied heavily on government assistance. I would never date those type of women to begin with either. I think whoever I decided to marry would absolutely love my family. They all have a very unique sense of humor and are loving/compassionate. My parents don't intrude on my life and they wouldn't intrude on my wife and I either. I know there are many stories out there of some really terrible in-laws, but my parents are the type of in-laws women dream of having.

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It took three years for my parents to acknowledge my current bf and I's relationship is serious and not just friends in all but name. My aunt still doesn't think that he is real though and tries to get me to date "real" guys. I guess she is kind of old fashioned when it comes to internet relationships so I could understand. I just wish he could meet her to prove that he is real, it is just that it is hard to get him to come up to my place due to his job and other factors.

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