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ByHisWoundswearehealed

I need some advice.

8 posts in this topic

So I'm in college and I am surrounded by girls everywhere. As time progresses, it has been getting harder and harder to wait; I am primarily concerned because most girls up here do not share my same belief and I feel as though I'm not gonna be with someone because I am waiting and they are not. I don't care if someone has already "done it". I am concerned that if I am with someone who is not waiting I will not be able to hold off the urges. What do I do?

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Definitely tough waiting while in college. I know this doesn't help you now but if you can make it through college waiting it gets WAY easier once you graduate. ThatGuy on this forum wrote an article about waiting after college that I highly recommend.

I'm of the same mind as you...I'm waiting but I don't necessarily have to date and/or marry a waiter. All I ask is that she waits for me. Dating a non-waiter can be done (been there done that) however it is more difficult obviously than dating a waiter. And interestingly enough, in my case it wasn't necessarily the physical urges that made it more difficult (that was part of it) but the difference of opinion on sex, marriage, and a whole host of other related issues really drove a wedge between me and that girl even though we had a lot in common otherwise. I'm not saying don't do it...just sharing my experience B)

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Just from a girls perspective, there are girls who arent waiting who are respectful to those who are. Like they may even say they wish they did. Then there are the girls who will try their best to break your willpower. I think you'll be able to tell after a bit of getting to know them. If not, a girl friend should be able to help you out!

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There are definitely girls who do not believe in WTM, or are unable to wait. Even if I wasn't a waiter, I know I would wait for a guy I really liked. Girls do have lower libidos then men and on average, different priorities in relationships, but I know that many girls are all about sex, sex, sex or do insist on having sex in a committed relationship. In university, that is a hard thing to deal with. I'm a girl, and I'm not going to even bother dating in university (I'm not interested in it yet, anyways.) Don't think of it as "they're not respecting me," just think "they want something different in a relationship than I do." There's a big difference between a girl who politely tells you that she does not want to wait until marriage than a girl who peer-pressures you and insults you for your beliefs.

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When they approach you say "be gone you spawn of satan!!!" Lol I'll give anyone a dollar if they know what movie thats from :D

But all in all what helps me is I have a necklace I made with wtm on it and everyday I wake up nd I see it and I'm reminded of my desicion. Alot of the times if your saying it word of mouth its easier to forget that your choosing to wait but if you have something physical to remind you I think it helps. Personally I would tell you their bad company not bad people but when you hang around people like that long enough your values get astrayed..... Am not sure if your religious or not but if you are just remember the devil doesnt come and tell you "hey am the devil am here to tempt you!!! Obviously you would be smart enough to say hey!! get away from me!!! What he does is he comes as a friend and slowly leads you down that wrong path and before you know it youve made a mistake you cant fix..... Try find friends who have similar values as you, am not saying cut those people out entirely in general but still be nice and say hi occasionally, but dont make them your main set of friends because thats were things will become very harder for you to stay true to yourself!!!

Hoped that Helped :D

seeflo

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. ThatGuy on this forum wrote an article about waiting after college that I highly recommend.

thnx DD!

but the difference of opinion on sex, marriage,

This! This would be the biggest thing for me! Ideally i would want a waiter but if she isn't a waiter and has changed and has similar viewpoints regarding marriage and sex, I'd be okay with that. Still would love a waiter though :-P

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How are you meeting the women to where you are being put into a position where it is more difficult to hold back? Taking someone home from a bar is definitely going to present some challenging temptations. However, I would assume if you have met someone you like, you may go through some sort of dating process. If it gets to a discussion on defining a relationship, maybe set boundaries? I would start there, it will help establish mutual respect, something your partner (hopefully) should be able to appreciate.

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