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FloraBell

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Hello one and all!

 

I've seemed to have stumbled upon a community I sure wish I would've known about sooner.  I'm proud to be a virgin and to be wtm but as I get older (late 20s) it seems more difficult to find people who understand my choice (let alone a man who is also waiting).

 

Recently, a curious friend asked me more about my reasons behind waiting, arguing that you can't tell if you're sexually compatible with someone unless you've slept together.  I rationally tried to give my point of view, as well as statistics and psychology books I've read that indicate the benefits of waiting (and that also dismiss the idea of sexual incompatibility except for a few medical conditions).  Unfortunately, he kept asserting that from his 'experience' this isn't true.  And here is where the conversation stopped.  

 

Am I the only one who can't stand when someone dismisses your opinion because you don't have the experience to back it up?  I'm not a piece of meat to be tried- I'm a human being reserving the most intimate act between two people because it is sacred to me.  That doesn't mean I don't know human anatomy, that doesn't mean I'm a prude, that doesn't mean I don't educate myself on all of this.  At the end of the day, I have my values and I'm stickin' to 'em.

 

Phew-- I've been wanting to say this to anyone who might understand!

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Welcome! You'll definitely feel at home here :)

 

Am I the only one who can't stand when someone dismisses your opinion because you don't have the experience to back it up?  I'm not a piece of meat to be tried- I'm a human being reserving the most intimate act between two people because it is sacred to me.  That doesn't mean I don't know human anatomy, that doesn't mean I'm a prude, that doesn't mean I don't educate myself on all of this.  At the end of the day, I have my values and I'm stickin' to 'em.

 

I agree with that 100% (especially the bit I highlighted). It's always frustrating when people dismiss what you have to say because you don't have the experience to back it up. I mean, I've never been run over by a truck but that don't invalidate my opinion of not wanting to be run over by a truck, right? ;)

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Welcome. I hope you find what you are looking for here. It's a wonderful place, with wonderful people.

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I know some men who talk about giving up your virginity (because they want to have sex with you!)  I am very certain this is why that man had this conversation with you.  Other than that (if he had no sexual interest in you or if he was a straight woman), they could be arguing for 'not waiting' because of sociocentric thinking.  Which, in that case, it is great that you engaged in their conversation and challenged their viewpoint.  Gives them something to think about even if they claim they don't agree (right now).

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Hey flora! That's an excellent write! You so wonderfully summed up our lives lol I know what you are going through and I guess more or less everyone here went through the same at one point in their lives. But what does not kill us makes us stronger right? :) Welcome to the family! It was really encouraging to know your story! All the best and see you around.

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