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"I'm not waiting until marriage but I'm waiting for the right guy/girl"

27 posts in this topic

I've done a lot more thinking after reading a lot here and for me, the right person is the right person: while a ceremony is nice idea as long as it's not overly expensive  or stressful it's not necessary for me to trap my partner under vows in front of other people. i think the most romantic thing would be traveling and camping together and cuddling not having sex and that's why it would be more important  for me to find my equal. So why don't i just wait to marriage because it doesn't mean much for me as i am not religious i am trying to rid myself of cultural conditioning and think for myself and that means that once you"re married you aren't in the clear especially as a man anyways with divorce courts by the way so the idea of just spending as much time as possible with her is more important to me than thinking about growing old and having a family doesn't appeal to me. Although I don't want to find out one day that she's had enough with me i do believe i am safer not being married if that should happen. I am not waiting for the right person to satisfy myself and I don't care if they waited to satisfy themselves but i am waiting for the right person to be where i am and not expect more from me than i can give and right now I don't want coitus but I wouldn't mind mutual stimulation. But that would be what i waited to do but if i wait for this then i feel like i make sex the pinnacle or idol or put it on a pedestal i just really want someone who never kissed or had sex because i never did. Because i am not putting intercourse as the pinnacle of a relationship or defining feature because i can get stimulation by myself i am putting intimacy and affection as the pinnacle i think for me i am transcending my cultural expectations. I am waiting for my equal to come to me and say yes i am here because i never had sex for my reasons. And i want to move to a place where I don't lose anything because they (the nonwaiters) have monopolized the terminology. Basically i want freedom to love deeply without expectation based on what's going on downstairs. So i am glad i am still welcomed here despite my far out ideas. Thanks.

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