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Unicorn

OKCupid (More Like OKStupid)

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I've been a member of OKCupid for many years. In that time, I've talked to a lot of people, but I've never found a match. My biggest problem with the site is that I can't seem to find a selection of people anywhere near my area who are willing to WTM. As a matter fo fact, even if I set my critieria to worldwide jsut to see who comes up, I still have a hard time finding anyone who is open to WTM.

 

I've also tried eHarmony and Match without success.

 

So, I put this question to the members fo the forum: how would you suggest that I might go about finding a guy who would be open to WTM?

 

I'm in my late 30s, so it seems like finding a guy who will wait is about as likely as finding a four leaf clover. Also, I work from home, so co-workers aren't an option for dating and I'm not religious, so church is out. Any ideas or advice would be greatly appreciated.

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Me and a friend of mine tried eHarmony sophomore year, as a joke. We got setup with a whole bunch of farmers. They made sure to point out on their profiles how very lonely they were.

OkCupid is the best one, but it's just a tool. It adds to real life meeting people. There's also a trick for using it.
 

I think the video that I posted of Matt Hussey might be a little bit helpful?

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Yeah, eHarmony really isn't worth money. They like to tout that you're getting these spot-on matches due to their uber-hi-tech matching algorithm, but it really isn't any better than any other site. All that really happens is that you end up with a lot less selecttion since you can't search through matches on your own.

 

There is a trick to OKCupid? I didn't know about any trick. Is the trick mentioned in the video that you referred to, becuase I haven't watched it yet. If not, please share this trick so that I can put it into action.

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I tried OkCupid and to my surprise actually managed to find several men who were WTM. I found that by answering the questions relating to sex and marking things like 'I will only have sex after the wedding' as mandatory I got some very high order matches - like 98,99%. When I looked at their profiles virtually all of them were WTM, especially when I looked on the worldwide setting.

Sadly I ended up deleting my profile as even outright stating that I was WTM on my description didn't stop a constant stream of creeps and hook up requests. It did however give me reassurance that there are a number of men out there who are committed to WTM, even on OkCupid!

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Yeah, eHarmony really isn't worth money. They like to tout that you're getting these spot-on matches due to their uber-hi-tech matching algorithm, but it really isn't any better than any other site. All that really happens is that you end up with a lot less selecttion since you can't search through matches on your own.

 

There is a trick to OKCupid? I didn't know about any trick. Is the trick mentioned in the video that you referred to, becuase I haven't watched it yet. If not, please share this trick so that I can put it into action.

Well, there's a book  ;)http://www.amazon.com/Optimal-Cupid-Mastering-Hidden-OkCupid-ebook/dp/B00HY351S2

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I tried OkCupid and to my surprise actually managed to find several men who were WTM. I found that by answering the questions relating to sex and marking things like 'I will only have sex after the wedding' as mandatory I got some very high order matches - like 98,99%. When I looked at their profiles virtually all of them were WTM, especially when I looked on the worldwide setting.

 

I don't know how you managed to get accurate matches. I have answered those questions on my profile and, even with that, I still get so-called high percentage matches who make it clear that they want to try before they buy (so to speak).

 

@Bluey - Thank you for pointing out that book. I had read the Wired article, but I didn't know that he published a book about his experience. I'm going to check it out.

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I'm on OkCupid. Pretty much anyone who has a 90% or more compatibility with me means she is a virgin or born-again virgin. Key is to be honest in answers and to live somewhere populated. I live in a big city.

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I'm on OkCupid. Pretty much anyone who has a 90% or more compatibility with me means she is a virgin or born-again virgin. Key is to be honest in answers and to live somewhere populated. I live in a big city.

 

See, that's the funny thing. I don't live in a big city, but I live about an hour and a half from two of them, so you would think that I would be spoiled for choices. Nope, not the case.

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I've found that OkCupid is as good as it gets if you want to find waiters in close proximity. I can sympathize with you women about it though, as I could see guys not being as open about waiting on a site like that, making it appear like there's few guy waiters.

 

I've gone on countless dates with women on there, and every one of them were either virgins or at the very least, committed to waiting until after the wedding. It's become a great resource for me, because I'm 1000% convinced that my town is completely devoid of waiters, lol. It's not a small town either. Every date I've had is with someone anywhere between 30 minutes and 3 hours away. Strange, huh?

 

On a side note, it cracks me up when I get an e-mail from OKC saying that it's raining in my town tonight, so I should get on and flirt. As if people can't go out in the rain without melting, so they stay home online. Lol.

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I met my husband on okcupid. :) Besides us having a high match percentage, he knew he had to contact me after reading my additional explanation to a question about sex before marriage. I had written that I was WTM, but not for religious reasons. It's been almost three years now since he first contacted me!

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Well, I actually recently met my boyfriend, a fellow waiter, on OKCupid, so I am rather fond of that website. I found that it gave a much stronger ability to filter through and look for people who shared my values than the other sites I tried, which were Match and Christian Mingle. I quickly wound up finding about fifteen men nearby who shared my values of being Christian, waiting until marriage, not drinking, not smoking, and things of that nature; I never would have expected the number to be that high. Yes, there were also many men who were not waiting; I just hid their profiles as I went about searching, and essentially said "thanks, but no thanks" if anyone who was not compatible with me messaged me. Fortunately, everyone was very polite. But yes, having that question about when a person would choose to have sex, and being able to see who answered "only after the wedding," was a huge blessing!

 

Sorry it has not worked out very well for you. I was lucky, because my boyfriend contacted me back in January after only a few months of me setting up online dating profiles, and after only a few weeks of me being on OKCupid. I did not have to put a lot of time and energy into the process before it yielded positive results. That being said, my boyfriend had been trying out the online dating community for a year or two without any major success at all, so I know that it is not always as easy of an experience as I had. But I am definitely grateful that he did not give up, or else we would have never met.

 

Good luck in your continued searching!

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