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Tempest Desh

Another Rant

3 posts in this topic

*Sighes* The one who preaches the value of ranting is now ranting again, lol. For the sake of no longer going to my non-waiting friends and whining to them, I've (yay!) decided to come here and get it off my chest. The thing for me is not the waiting itself (I've been at this for 24 years and during the peak of those years, I literally had to turn down the girls, by the dozens (no joke). I'm seriously not bragging, due to my reasons for turning them down. They obviously weren't waiting...and thinking about that fact often depresses me. It seems like all the women I'm attracted to are either taken, sex-fiends, or uber-religious (in the wrong sense, at that). Of the few I can click with, it looks like I would have to give up my faith to be with them, which really sucks, as I'm not about to do that. Just the thought of either having to settle or deal with a life of loneliness can really get to me many a day. On top of this is the fact that of all those women, one and one alone (who I can't even speak to, as I have no means of contacting her...and it's been two years) would be the kind that I might fight for, even if she hadn't waited. She seemed like the kind that would appreciate what I'd went through and accept and love me for all my faults, in large part due to my waiting. So, here I sit and ponder the fate that probably awaits me. While I know the benefits of waiting (just take a look at my parents, who both waited, are on their first and only marriage, and have been together for 28 years, even though they're from different religions and different corners of the World). It just feels so often like I have to give up and destroy myself and replace that self with someone who's NOT me, in order for me to have even a remote chance of one falling asleep with someone next to me, who wears a ring I gave her and vice versa. All the while, I luckily have this place, along with the straight-edge community to rely on, which I'm grateful for...as the World seems to be telling me to go eff myself, for lack of a better way of putting things. I might be more understanding with women who gave it up to some jerk-off, if they were nicer to me about my being a virgin (by choice at that), but most seem to have a chip on their shoulder (as if I don't *winces*)...Dunno what else to say...maybe I'll think of something in the intermission, so to speak. Thanks for listening...

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Even though my views have not changed, thanfully I'm not as emotional about such things as this. Thanks for being my rantboard for the time being, WaitingTillMarriage.Org!

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Hey TD!

So if you had to settle one way or the other, would you rather settle in the direction of one of the sex fiend girls, or in the direction of one of the uber-religious girls?

And about that one girl...no means of contacting her, really? I assume you've tried Facebook, Google, Spokeo, etc...right?

If you've found girls that are very close to what you want, even if they're taken and/or impossible to contact, it stands to reason that there are others like them out there. It's just a question of meeting enough people in the right environments and you'll just by process of probability find one like those that are taken/whatever.

Haven't tried Spokeo...she doesn't have a FB, only a Myspace (it looks like she doesn't use it anymore) and a LinkedIn (haven't heard back from her there or via e-mail. Maybe she's forgotten about me or worse yet, is taken? As for there being other girls...perhaps, but due to other reasons, I find it nigh impossible to connect with them (not so much for sex-related reasons...though it does bleed into that category, somehow)...unlike in her case. She saw my faults and her of my mistakes/regrets about my life...and didn't run for the hills/go "Eww...what a loser!" Other girls haven't been so kind, to say the least. Hence the feeling that Love's passed me by...since I can't see that much of a chance (though I of course have my fantasies to the effect of overriding the doubts) of ever having anything with her. Besides my main concern with a girl who hasn't waited (aside from STD's and other things) really has to do with the possibility of having kids. I would want to raise them to wait, etc. How could I do this successfully, all the while having them respect a woman who hadn't waited, etc.? Strange thing is, I seem to know a way to do this...and to also find the means to love someone like that...especially in the case of this girl, who, with a few simple words, seemed to give me a new lease on Life, when I'd all but given up. I might prefer the uber-religious girls...if they weren't so judgmental and desirous of me giving up my Muslim faith, to become a Christian (I converted from Christianity to Islam, of my own free will, btw). I do need to get out more...but there are that many straight-edgers in my area...or many of those who be waiting/abstaining, at least that's the way it seems. Besides, with other issues in the way, I find it hard to travel to the masjid I would normally pray at...and I don't have to financial means, etc. to marry. So, I'm not sure how to actualize this desire to find more like-minded people in RL...but, thanks for hearing me out and giving me some advice. It all helps, trust me.

See ya on the flipside,

Tempest Desh

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