Wonderwoman

Modern Day Gentlemen, and Ladies

5 posts in this topic

I have an…Odd question, and I need your help men. I’ve been thinking about this for a few years. Thank you for your time.*takes off the jacket and claps hands* Let do this…:

 

Dear Men of WTM,

 

            We are honored to have some modern day gentlemen here on this site. When I say, ‘gentlemen’ I mean men that carry on the tradition of chivalry. For example, some acts of chivalry are opening doors, paying for a meal, pulling out a chair and so on.  I find these thoughtful acts of chivalry endearing.

 

            However, at the same time, I feel lost on how to respond to them. I want to reply in-kind back to these fine gentlemen, but don’t know how. Are there are no chivalric act a lady might do? So, here is my question:

 

            What act/acts of chivalry might a Lady do to honor her gentlemen and/or her gentlemen friends?

 

           I now turn to you. What do you think? What would like to see women do?

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You ladies can start by going to the kitchen and making us a sandwich on occasion. That would be nice :P

 

But seriously though, thanks for bringing this up. I was just thinking about this the other day too. Whenever you read books or articles about dating, it's almost always about how guys should act towards girls. Guys should pay, guys should open doors, guys should pick girl up etc. I mean, guys should do those things, but you almost never hear about how girls should treat a guy. Everything just seems one sided.

 

I think one of the most important things a girl can do for a guy is to simply respect him. Both guys and girls need love and respect, but it seems like girls gravitate towards being loved while guys lean towards respect. I was reading an a blog today about how our society normalizes disrespecting men. You look at the average 90's sitcom and all the men are portrayed as fat, lazy and dumb while their wives are smart, beautiful and have alpha traits. Men are treated like dogs or children. If he makes her mad, he's in timeout mode and forced to sleep on the couch. This type of societal attitude is dangerous because not only is does it teach our daughters that guys are just dimwitted cattle that need to be herded around, but it also keeps us from striving to be the kind of men that ladies deserve. This I think, is just as bad as our society teaching guys that girls are simply objects for sex.

 

It's easy to think that guys aren't supposed to be vulnerable and that we can just brush off constantly being verbally abused or belittling. But we're more fragile and emotional than we let on. Many girls don't realize how big of an impact they can have on the men in their lives in that they can either build up or tear down his sense of being based on how much (or little) respect they give them. But the truth is we need real, tangible displays of respect. We need to know that we are appreciated in our actions. One of the best things you can say to a guy is how you feel safe around him. We have a natural protective instinct and that hearing that makes us feel manly. Show recognition in his accomplishment, both in what he does for you and in his professional life. It only spurs us on to be better.

 

I hope that helps.

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Honestly, if you just say "Thanks" and put on an amazing smile...that'll be more than enough payback!

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I think the only thing a lady can do is say thanks and smile perhaps.

 

And also do not tell us NOT TO open doors etc for for you. Some woman actually do that :o

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I have an…Odd question, and I need your help men. I’ve been thinking about this for a few years. Thank you for your time.*takes off the jacket and claps hands* Let do this…:

 

Dear Men of WTM,

 

            We are honored to have some modern day gentlemen here on this site. When I say, ‘gentlemen’ I mean men that carry on the tradition of chivalry. For example, some acts of chivalry are opening doors, paying for a meal, pulling out a chair and so on.  I find these thoughtful acts of chivalry endearing.

 

            However, at the same time, I feel lost on how to respond to them. I want to reply in-kind back to these fine gentlemen, but don’t know how. Are there are no chivalric act a lady might do? So, here is my question:

 

            What act/acts of chivalry might a Lady do to honor her gentlemen and/or her gentlemen friends?

 

           I now turn to you. What do you think? What would like to see women do?

 

 

This is a very interesting question.   I have some thoughts on it and they relate to love languages.  If this person is a significant other or potential significant other learning their love language and communicating to them through that is a great response.  Guys typically want to be affirmed by the females around them, even their friends.  We want to know we mattered and we want to know that we mattered to someone we care about.  Smiling and gratitude are great if the guy's love language are words of affirmation.  Some guys it's acts of service and some guys its touch and some its gifts.   So it depends.  There are ways in those love languages to express respect, appreciation and admiration and those are the best responses especially if you respect, appreciate and admire the guy.  Even if its just your brother or your dad.  In a romantic relationship, these are the tools you use to build relationship with whether you're the girl or the guy.  Anyhow, this is just pretty much my train of thought typing.  I'm an external processor so it just kind of comes out and I write it down.  haha.

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