inventor84

What if you never get married?

70 posts in this topic

I don't know. I'm going to be very concerned if I hit 30 a virgin. If that happens I will more than likely unfortunately lose my virginity to a woman who is not my wife. I just can't take it. If I go that long the virginity status itself would begin to bother my mind. Who knows maybe by then I'll be more comfortable about being a virgin. I just hope and have prayed to God that I meet her in his perfect timing. I'd prefer for it to be sooner than later.

 

They say that we find our spouse when we stop looking. I have not been looking so that's hopefully good news! 

 

Chastity is a life long commitment. 

The more pure a person is the easier it is to remain pure. 

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Getting married is risky these days. You can lose everything . Live life no strings and waite for great people to date. If you want to get married invest in yourself. People love security and you don't scare them away . Makes you look good and keeps ya busy . You will meet more women. Just keep notice for flirt signals.lol.

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There have been times where I have thought about not getting married and think I would be alright. Other times not so much lol.

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I don't know about that. Maybe I would get help from a dating coach or a friend of mine (who is successful with women), but I can't see myself becoming a player and contradicting my values. I'd probably just stay celibate for life.

 

I like your answer. I honestly see no point in having sex outside of marriage. It is better to not contradict your values and stay true to yourself no matter what. 

 

And if I were you I would not worry about staying single forever. You will get married. Have hope! 

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Sex outside of marriage seems trying to say the least, not even mentioning my beliefs. I think my problem is I've never met a man who older, single, virgin, who is happy! So I would be afraid. I'd be doing someone different. I don't want to be different. That's what worries me. We see monks and priest who are happy virgins etc. but I don't want to be a monk. Not to mention societal pressure. There is no doubt in my mind I will stick to my convections. However can I be happy, and fulfilled without sex.

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I'd say definitely, and Brenda above hit the target spot on.

First and foremost my life is to be lived, to glorify and honor God!

Could I be content as a single guy, maybe.

It'd be fun as it is now, fun to work hard to grow and develop myself.

Enjoyable to accumulate things, but I think, no in my heart.

In my heart it's one of my heart desires to share my life, experiences, ups, downs, my home to make it our home.

To go for long walks along side the surrounding mountains, or a Lake, ....

To enjoy a physical relationship with each other.

Don't wanna leave that out!

Hahaha

I've never really thought about it, but say for some reason I didn't get married.

Would I succumb to the battle with my own flesh and desires.

Probably not, I'd just be lonely old virgin guy.

But in all likelihood even if I had to fly half way around the world to find her.

I'd leave no stone unturned.

Isn't this the romanticized view of ancient martial bliss.

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Getting married is risky these days. You can lose everything . Live life no strings and waite for great people to date. If you want to get married invest in yourself. People love security and you don't scare them away . Makes you look good and keeps ya busy . You will meet more women. Just keep notice for flirt signals.lol.

Yeah, the best strategy is to have the mindset of "I'll be social, meet some gals and flirt with them." Somehow, that makes it easier to get a gf/wife apparently.

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I totally understand this fear.  It is what is consuming me I suppose now that I turned 30 last week. 

I have so much to say on this but I truly understand how many of you feel.  Because you know people will keep saying “oh WHEN you get married…†“WHEN this and that happens…â€

 

But as you say how do you know if it will?  There are no guarantees in life and we do not know what is round the corner.  I could meet someone who could be a potential life partner tomorrow or 10 years from now or it may never happen. 

I thought by now, it would have but it hasn’t.  So there is a real fear that has now made me feel very resigned.  I do genuinely feel like it will never happen sometimes and what’s that done to me?  Make me feel extremely bitter and resentful….at life, at myself, at God…  all those expectations haven’t met and this waiting feels like a complete waste.  Like waiting for something that’s never going to come, what’s the point?

 

In any case though, I feel if marriage doesn’t happen then there’s no way I’m waiting, but then I’ll be faced with a whole different dilemma – just find some random willing woman and get it over and done with…but then I would have come so far to give it away to some random, so it would have to be someone significant, but then that might take a while in itself.   

 

Doesn’t it feel the thought of not getting married and still waiting conjure feelings of bitterness and remorse and hatred towards life in general?  For me it does, I find it almost impossible to care or focus on other things as a result.  

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My priority in life is not to find a husband.

It is to love and serve God.

My life is complete just as it is.

 

A husband would be the icing on the cake.

God knows my heart. If it is His will, it WILL happen.

 

You shouldn't go through life worrying about something you have no control over.

You can lower your standards, and live with regret.

Instead, Be all you can be.

 

Love you and love will find you.

 

 

Face it, you are pretty irresistable...each of you.

 

Seriously, what's not to love?!

Amen Brenda, those are exactly my priorities as well. Being 46 and a virgin it would be nice to meet my future wife but like you also said my first priority is to serve God . If it happens it happens. My mom was more worried about it then I was. She always wanted me to settle for anyone and said I would learn to love her later, but I'm too much of a non conformist to conform to that lol.

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Amen Brenda, those are exactly my priorities as well. Being 46 and a virgin it would be nice to meet my future wife but like you also said my first priority is to serve God . If it happens it happens. My mom was more worried about it then I was. She always wanted me to settle for anyone and said I would learn to love her later, but I'm too much of a non conformist to conform to that lol.

Haha My Mom said " Don't say yes to the first man who asks for your hand. Don't settle for second best" I wish I had listened!!

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Focus on ruling the world and comprising my empire...what else is there???

 

You can be the empress. Then I will become Emperor and we will force the world to listen to Megadeth. Peace Sells will become the US National Anthem :o

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What if I never get the courage to talk to girls outside of my uni classes? :o

 

That is a scary thought. There is this interesting looking gal who I see on my train platform once a week. I sat in front of her once. I should say "Hi" ;)

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I would like rule the world with my beautiful wife

Focus on ruling the world and comprising my empire...what else is there???

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I scarred that I never asked anyone in university and now I will die alone or just marry the next women I see

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I scarred that I never asked anyone in university and now I will die alone or just marry the next women I see

 

"Be strong

Always believe in yourself and never change because you are unique one of a kind."

 

 

Look within yourself. Love who YOU are. Stop comparing yourself to others. Be YOU.

 

Nobody can complete you, you have to be whole.

 

 

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Thanks for being the voice of reason. It's just everywhere I look around there are girls who smoke, drink and both (My family used to own a gas station so that increased my anti-smoking and anti-drinking stance)

 

 I just hope I wouldn't end up along because I have set the bar too high. I am also considering interracial dating which is ok as long as we have the same moral values regardless of religion. 

"Be strong

Always believe in yourself and never change because you are unique one of a kind."

 

 

Look within yourself. Love who YOU are. Stop comparing yourself to others. Be YOU.

 

Nobody can complete you, you have to be whole.

 

 

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Thanks for being the voice of reason. It's just everywhere I look around there are girls who smoke, drink and both (My family used to own a gas station so that increased my anti-smoking and anti-drinking stance)

 

 I just hope I wouldn't end up along because I have set the bar too high. I am also considering interracial dating which is ok as long as we have the same moral values regardless of religion. 

 

Dude, interacial dating is good. I CBF'ed to find a Pakistani girl. I have white best-friends so what is wrong with marrying a white girl? Not all white girls are party animals (most are not).

 

I personally would only consider religion ie the girl must be Christian, Diest, Unitarian, Muslim or Jewish and should be willing to become Muslim (just belief in God + prophet and 5 pillars).

 

Also, I think most girls who do not drink much or smoke are generally found in daytime. Approaching them at bars sounds like a bad idea and most of them there are looking for Mr Right Now not Mr Right.

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I do like interracial dating and marraige becasue one of my relatives married a great guy who is an english lawyer in Sussex and there are great couple. I personally would love to marry a christain, athenist or hindu girls however here in Florida some girls do prefer other americans guys which is naturally. I would appoach girls during the day but I do work so I just need to be patient and see how my live goes. Hope to be married by 35 or 40 like my parents.

 

Dude, interacial dating is good. I CBF'ed to find a Pakistani girl. I have white best-friends so what is wrong with marrying a white girl? Not all white girls are party animals (most are not).

 

I personally would only consider religion ie the girl must be Christian, Diest, Unitarian, Muslim or Jewish and should be willing to become Muslim (just belief in God + prophet and 5 pillars).

 

Also, I think most girls who do not drink much or smoke are generally found in daytime. Approaching them at bars sounds like a bad idea and most of them there are looking for Mr Right Now not Mr Right.

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Sometimes I feel like Ill be a loser if I don't get, I would die a Virgin. I know that its dumb to think of myself as a loser because I died a virgin, but its a thought that goes through my mind.

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I think you feel this way because society's pumped that into your head. Yes sex is a natural thing, but you yourself control your senses. Jesus died a virgin and He was super cool. But you have the desire for someone that goes along with sex then you have to trust that there's someone special out there for you :) So don't worry pray for your desires and God will grant you the wishes of your heart :) Distract yourself as much as possible with other things in your life and focus on making those areas better so that when you do find someone they will be pleased with what they find. At least that's what I try to do anyway...haha.

Sometimes I feel like Ill be a loser if I don't get, I would die a Virgin. I know that its dumb to think of myself as a loser because I died a virgin, but its a thought that goes through my mind.

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You can always have a one night stand

 

Seriously, Karthnik? Is that supposed to be a joke? Because it's in very poor taste.

 

xxx

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