Sign in to follow this  
Followers 0
jaegerpants

Different 'levels'

3 posts in this topic

This is kind of focused on the "three levels of sexual abstinence" pyramid ... Level 1 = no dating at all, Level 2 = holding hands & kissing only; Level 3 = "everything but sex". Maybe it should go as a comment there? Although the forum seems more active right now. Anyway -

I'm pretty comfortable in "Level 2". My girlfriend (of 4 months now! woohoo!) is comfortable in "Level 3". We've talked about this, trying very hard to avoid any "you're wrong" language... but it's tough to find limits that leave both of us feeling happy and respected. (We're already a little past "Level 2" because she apparently felt horribly hurt & rejected when I wasn't instantly positive about the idea of staying the night to cuddle her in bed (pants on!). Giving in on that made her feel better, but I felt compromised - still do.)

Any ideas on how to work this out? Or is it just that we're being foolish to "date outside our level"?

http://waitingtillmarriage.org/the-3-le ... bstinence/

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks for sharing! I dated a guy in the fall and he spent the night and it was really nice-as soon as I turned on my side to fall asleep he wanted to cuddle =) As a girl, I'd say that's really important--Mike is right, that something as simple as cuddling makes a big difference. It makes me at least feel 'close' without being overtly sexual. The problem was though, since he spent the night, we would get into make out sessions and I got a little too adventurous/comfortable and was okay with his hand on my butt while I was making out on top of him. (Probably not a good idea =P) But, no clothes came off so that was good, although one other time my shirt did come off. =/ So, I understand how you are worried about cuddling, but maybe try cuddling together and taking a nap in the afternoon, or watching a movie, etc. I feel like the whole bed thing isn't a good idea for me.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Here's another idea-you can do massages for each other but keep it strictly shoulders/back. Hopefully it doesn't become an issue of going to other places, but that can be really relaxing and intimate as well.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  
Followers 0