Invincible

What is your biggest regret in life?

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I regret missing one of the greatest opportunities I had in my life that happened recently. What makes it worse is that I had ample time to act upon it. But it didn't really hit me until I realized it was gone and it was too late. I still strongly believe that God influence is active in our daily lives. But this made me wonder if we have more control of our own lives than I originally thought.

 

It is a hard lesson for me to learn, but we can't just wait around for life to happen. We need to actively pursue it with all we have and leave the rest up to God. At least then, you won't have to wonder what could have been.

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I regret missing one of the greatest opportunities I had in my life that happened recently. What makes it worse is that I had ample time to act upon it. But it didn't really hit me until I realized it was gone and it was too late. I still strongly believe that God influence is active in our daily lives. But this made me wonder if we have more control of our own lives than I originally thought.

 

It is a hard lesson for me to learn, but we can't just wait around for life to happen. We need to actively pursue it with all we have and leave the rest up to God. At least then, you won't have to wonder what could have been.

I would second that. I've probably let my loneliness distract me, drag me down sometimes, and waste energy and focus in the past. I've since realized that whether alone or not, each day is mine to make the best of and that dwelling on uncertainty creates terrible inertia.

Otherwise, I always wanted to play an instrument, would have been nice to take lessons when I was younger.

And there is a family member relationship that went wrong at some point and if I could figure out when and why (and even whether there is anything I could have done differently to change it), I would.

And also, to learn earlier not to be a perfectionist in everything, but rather aim for excellence so time is better used.

But as several earlier posters have stated, experiences and decisions good and bad are what shape us into what we are today, so there probably isn't much I could change and still be me.

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Hey Vince,

 

I feel for you, man!

In my opinion, you are totally right with what you are saying.

 

To add my thoughts to this:

I believe everyone is born with a chosen path, a personal calling.

How do you find out about your personal calling?

I believe when you do the things that fill you with joy and enthusiasm it is certainly a good sign. If you keep continuing those things they will lead you to the places you are supposed to be.

 

The hard part is, that nobody can do this for you, but you.

You have to actively pursue those things, but it´s hard. First of all, you have to find out what those things are and how to pursue them. You have to muster the courage and overcome many obstacles along the way. I think everyone has a personal calling within their soul, given by God/fate/the universe/whatever one believes.

And it´s our job to find it, to bring it out, to breathe life into it and fulfill our very own legend. We don´t have to, but if we do, we are going to feel much more happy, alive and fulfilled.

 

Wow, this sounds so weird. I hope I didn´t freak you out. Just wanted to give my thoughts to what you were saying.

Wish you all the best! Hang in there! When the next opportunity comes and it feels right, grab it and don´t let go, even if it seems a bit scary. 

Like I said, just my thoughts......I´m still trying to figure out life by myself and don´t want to force my thoughts on you...

 

Much love and all the best on the sometimes hard and torturous journey of pursuing things and life actively! You can do it!

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And there is a family member relationship that went wrong at some point and if I could figure out when and why (and even whether there is anything I could have done differently to change it), I would.

 

Wow ChristianMan, thanks for sharing that. I know even less of what happened with that family member but I'm sorry to hear that it went sour. Family relationships can be really complicated and sometimes can't be fixed with a few words. But perhaps maybe this family member is thinking the same thing you are and is wondering what went wrong. Even if something did go wrong, it may not be too late to mend the relationship. I think the first step is to be take the initiative to reach out to this person. I know it's easier said than done. But the worst thing would be that you both remain not talking. Otherwise you may have the chance to make up for lost time with this family member. I hope things go well.

 

 

Hey Vince,

 

I feel for you, man!

In my opinion, you are totally right with what you are saying.

 

To add my thoughts to this:

I believe everyone is born with a chosen path, a personal calling.

How do you find out about your personal calling?

I believe when you do the things that fill you with joy and enthusiasm it is certainly a good sign. If you keep continuing those things they will lead you to the places you are supposed to be.

 

The hard part is, that nobody can do this for you, but you.

You have to actively pursue those things, but it´s hard. First of all, you have to find out what those things are and how to pursue them. You have to muster the courage and overcome many obstacles along the way. I think everyone has a personal calling within their soul, given by God/fate/the universe/whatever one believes.

And it´s our job to find it, to bring it out, to breathe life into it and fulfill our very own legend. We don´t have to, but if we do, we are going to feel much more happy, alive and fulfilled.

 

Wow, this sounds so weird. I hope I didn´t freak you out. Just wanted to give my thoughts to what you were saying.

Wish you all the best! Hang in there! When the next opportunity comes and it feels right, grab it and don´t let go, even if it seems a bit scary. 

Like I said, just my thoughts......I´m still trying to figure out life by myself and don´t want to force my thoughts on you...

 

Much love and all the best on the sometimes hard and torturous journey of pursuing things and life actively! You can do it!

 

Thank you so much for your thoughts, WUBA! You did not sound weird at all and I appreciate what you said and I agree wholeheartedly.

 

All of us do have a personal calling and I believe finding that calling is part of life. There are lots of things in this world that brings me joy, but God may not want me pursuing a particular thing at a particular given time. Perhaps He may want me to pursue a calling that is not what I initially wanted in the first place. But I know whatever it is, I will grow to find fulfillment in that.

 

Once again, thank you for your encouragement. You're right in that it was difficult letting this particular opportunity slide. At first I wanted so badly to go back in time and do things differently, but wishing for that is pointless now. I can't change the past, all I can do is learn from it and apply that lesson in my life at the present. I'm still somewhat disappointed, but for the most part I've made peace with it. If the opportunity presents itself again, I will be ready and won't make the same mistake again. If not, then I trust that God knows best in leading elsewhere.

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When I went to a very small university, I was sitting in a waiting room ready for my support group for things that were haunting me from my past. It was free and my friend still today had signed up with me because we sort of shared the same kind of past. When HE walked in with his side bag on his left shoulder across his body with the green strap gripped tightly in his hand. The typical frat boy, that I’d scene obnoxiously spreading himself around campus with his best buds. His voice was low as he spoke to the woman on the other side of a thin glass slide window that kept us unsolved puzzle pieces a safe distance from her. I never knew what he said but I'd always seen him talking with a big group and hanging out with his friends being the same old jock guy I’d seen in the movies. Today, he seemed anxious and kind of in a hurry but why wouldn’t he be. Having a reputation of being the cool guy, when he was standing in the building, that exclaimed you were practically a walking nutcase would ruin him. When he turned around we made eye contact that moment I realized he was human. (Something told me to talk to him but i ignored it)

 

After that day, I could see he wasn't like his friends but shy and always left off on his own. When they'd laugh obnoxiously he'd only smile to himself. He hardly got a word in on their talks or when they’d sit together he’d have one egging him on to be vulgar or cruel. I had a class with him and bumped into him almost every day. The funny part about it was he noticed me and always looked to me like I was going to reveal his secret that I didn’t even know. I remember getting another class with him and his buddy’s. They sat behind me and were laughing loud with no thought as two girls joined in there. I could only handle it for a day before I removed myself to the other side of the class room. I guess, he noticed because I caught him looking in my direction and said something because the two girls who clearly liked him went OUT of their way to build his ego in the place of myself esteem. Lmao, it was strange situation because we even had a mutual friend and she would tell me how nice he was.

 

I regret being so caught up in my life and not to asking him was he ok.

He was the second person in my life, who I knew need someone to be a friend

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Not trying harder in math, not getting my driver's license when I was still in high school, and not trying harder to repair a best friendship that went in the toilet. She abruptly cut contact with me one day out of the blue, and I was so paralyzed by the shock, betrayal, and pain of it all that I was never even able to ask her why she did it.

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Well I have many regrets and I am not really sure which one is my biggest. A fairly large regret of mine is that, for the longest time I let every one else tell me who I was. This led to years of low self esteem and some stuff that I am really not that proud of. This past year or so I have finally broken through that with God's help and support from friends and family. Sure I have times where I am not that confident or I want to be alone because that is what I am used to but I am really done hiding and feeling ashamed.

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I don't regret any thing in my life. Everything was MY choice and it was through my comfort that I chose this path. The real question should be: which emotioin do you feel in regard with your choices in life?

 

Mine would be: pride.

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I might regret waiting till marriage if I die suddenly: post-3330-0-05062600-1404737141_thumb.jp

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If a choice HAD to be made about what I would have done differently, it would be that I would have chosen to go to school for something, ANYTHING, that I had thought about doing while growing up (paleontologist or lawyer... well, paralegal, I have always had issues with having to present anything in front of people). However, I used my vocational training in Graphic Arts, and ended up working for a newspaper for 6 years, then a promotional products company for 8. Now I am into photography, and trying to do something for a career with that. However, I don't believe in regretting anything for too long at one time. Simply because if I had gone to law school, or even to be a paralegal, or gone to school for paleontology, I would probably be too career focused. Too busy with just working. I KNOW who I am, but I don't know how any of those decisions would have changed me. Would I be as involved with helping raise my nephews? Would I be able to focus on my family, and be here for my mom? Or, would I have been so focused on money, career, and whatever goes along with it, that I'd only spend bare minimum amount of time with these people that I love so much? So, sure, the path I ended up taking is looked down upon, sometimes, because of a lack of 'higher' education, but that doesn't change that I love to learn... and I am constantly learning SOMETHING. If I hadn't taken the path I had, I may not be the person I am today. If I hadn't had the experiences I've had (good and bad) I may not have had the tools to really make myself into the person I want to be, and who is forever changing, and I really like who I am today, and who I am becoming. :)

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I regret that I didn't form a closer/better relationship with my brother (7 years my junior). When I had the time to spend with him in childhood I didn't do enough or value him enough. I was more teamed up with my older sister and he was more the annoying kid who broke and stole my stuff etc. Once I went to state school at 14 I was out of the house most of the time (long hours and long commute) and afterwards moved out straight to uni. I'm working on it now. Its slow and hard but I'll get there...hopefully

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I don't regret anything. Life for me is a learning, changing, and taking risks process. I do question things sometimes. Like the relationship with my family. I should've cut them off earlier, but still I have no regrets. Life is too short for having regrets

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Fixed all my regrets tbh.

I regretted not being outgoing in the real world, so I took public speaking classes and learned to be outgoing.

I regretted not having good grades, so I studied more.

Am officially #NoRagrets #wow #swag

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I regret not going to see Pope Benedict when he visited Scotland :(

 

xxx

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Honestly, I have to say the whole "I don't regret anything" mentality our generation has is immature and irresponsible. Throw pitchforks at me, that is what I believe. I think we're all too insecure and anxious that we need to bolster our self-esteem so high, and part of that is through saying all the "bad" things in our lives, all the mistakes we made, were actually GOOD things. But they're mistakes. So they're bad things.

Regret is SO important. Regret tells us what we did wrong, and how to be different in the future. I regret many things, and because of that regret, I have bettered myself. One doesn't become a better person because they don't regret - they become so because they DO regret.  When something teaches me a lesson, it comes from regretting what has happened. Especially when others get hurt.

 

I think the two things I regret the most are my not being vegan and my sexual history.

 

I've been a vegan since September 2012.  Up until then, I was convinced that innocent, sentient beings could be exploited and murdered simply to give me nutrients I could get other places, and clothing I didn't need. I believed it was fine because that is what I was taught at a young age. I don't blame myself for thinking that way, but I wish I came to my current realization much sooner. I have blood on my hands, innocent blood which never needed to be shed.

 

And while I'm still "technically" a virgin, I went REALLY far with my last girlfriend. I felt like, as long as I never crossed the line of "full-on" sexual intercourse, I was squeaky clean. Now I believe that there is grey I did not see. I truly wish I could have kept my integrity instead of getting pressured into, and progressing myself, the sexual aspect of out relationship. I think our relationship would have been much more meaningful. But more importantly, I would have saved more to be special with my wife.

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Honestly, I have to say the whole "I don't regret anything" mentality our generation has is immature and irresponsible. Throw pitchforks at me, that is what I believe. I think we're all too insecure and anxious that we need to bolster our self-esteem so high, and part of that is through saying all the "bad" things in our lives, all the mistakes we made, were actually GOOD things. But they're mistakes. So they're bad things.

 

I see regret and knowing you made a mistake as two separate things. I know I've made mistakes, and I work hard to avoid repeating them. But I've forgiven myself for those mistakes, and I don't let the things that can't be changed haunt me into the future.

 

Regrets are different. They're mistakes I haven't forgiven myself for making. The 'what-ifs' haunt me, and steadily eat away at my soul. Knowing I can't ever undo them is torture.

 

Recognizing that you've made mistakes is vital for personal growth. Regret is one of the ugliest emotions a human being can feel, and it's no way to live.

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Honestly, I have to say the whole "I don't regret anything" mentality our generation has is immature and irresponsible. Throw pitchforks at me, that is what I believe. I think we're all too insecure and anxious that we need to bolster our self-esteem so high, and part of that is through saying all the "bad" things in our lives, all the mistakes we made, were actually GOOD things. But they're mistakes. So they're bad things.

Regret is SO important. Regret tells us what we did wrong, and how to be different in the future. I regret many things, and because of that regret, I have bettered myself. One doesn't become a better person because they don't regret - they become so because they DO regret. When something teaches me a lesson, it comes from regretting what has happened. Especially when others get hurt.

I think the two things I regret the most are my not being vegan and my sexual history.

I've been a vegan since September 2012. Up until then, I was convinced that innocent, sentient beings could be exploited and murdered simply to give me nutrients I could get other places, and clothing I didn't need. I believed it was fine because that is what I was taught at a young age. I don't blame myself for thinking that way, but I wish I came to my current realization much sooner. I have blood on my hands, innocent blood which never needed to be shed.

And while I'm still "technically" a virgin, I went REALLY far with my last girlfriend. I felt like, as long as I never crossed the line of "full-on" sexual intercourse, I was squeaky clean. Now I believe that there is grey I did not see. I truly wish I could have kept my integrity instead of getting pressured into, and progressing myself, the sexual aspect of out relationship. I think our relationship would have been much more meaningful. But more importantly, I would have saved more to be special with my wife.

What's wrong with having no regrets?? I have no regrets in life. Could I've done things differently? Yes. But I'm not going to go through life regretting things

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For those that feel 'regret nothing' is a good position don't be disappointed if you  marry a non-virgin and they don't regret their past sexual experiences.

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For those that feel 'regret nothing' is a good position don't be disappointed if you  marry a non-virgin and they don't regret their past sexual experiences.

 

Since I draw a distinction between regret and acknowledging mistakes, I think it's fair to want such a partner to acknowledge that some of their past choices were mistakes, but it would be cruel to except a non-virgin partner to regret their past choices. If one excepts a non-virgin partner to regret no longer being a virgin under my definition of the word, it is best to just hold out for a fellow virgin.

 

(Which isn't to say that I think all non-virgins have an obligation to view their experiences as mistakes at all; but I do think that it OK for a waiter to only want to be with someone who views all extramarital sex as wrong.)

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Since I draw a distinction between regret and acknowledging mistakes, I think it's fair to want such a partner to acknowledge that some of their past choices were mistakes, but it would be cruel to except a non-virgin partner to regret their past choices. If one excepts a non-virgin partner to regret no longer being a virgin under my definition of the word, it is best to just hold out for a fellow virgin.

 

(Which isn't to say that I think all non-virgins have an obligation to view their experiences as mistakes at all; but I do think that it OK for a waiter to only want to be with someone who views all extramarital sex as wrong.)

 

I feel that one can be unhappy over a past choice without constantly focusing on it and letting it run their life. The former seems mature to me while the latter is certainly destructive.

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You can also regret something you've done, then learn from it, in turn allowing yourself to let go of the regret. So, for some of us, letting go of the regret means we don't have it anymore. While others feel that if you don't remember to regret something then you can't learn from it. To say that one is more immature than the other is kind of saying that one thought process is the ONLY correct way of thinking. Neither is absolutely right or wrong. If you can move on with your life and not feel bitter, or not let that 'mistake' or experience rule you, while holding onto that regret then that is great. I, myself, have already stated that the reason I don't allow myself to feel regret for very long is because it doesn't do me any good. I dwell too much on some things, as it is, I don't need to let myself dwell on regretful things. You CAN take something GOOD from even bad experiences. It's all perspective.

 

This is just my view point, but if I can't take something from a bad experience and use it to better myself, then I really did go through, or make that decision, for nothing. Which could also make me even more bitter, because 'what's the point?'.

 

Also, nobody knows what the future holds, or how the present would have been different, if they had made a 'better' choice, or not had that 'bad' experience. The best we can hope to do in our lives is our best at any given time. Since we are human, there will be times when we will be stronger in our convictions, while other times we may be WEAKER. Also, you can regret something you had no control over, but you can also learn from that stuff, as well.

 

I choose to see the good in things, as often as possible. There is too much bad forced upon us in life to constantly concentrate on the 'what ifs'.

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Also, what if you hurt someone else? What if you say something truly mean to someone else or worse? Are you saying you shouldn't regret doing this? Again, regret is just wishing you would have made a different decision than you did. 

 

Anything I've done mean to other's I regret. If that makes me one who regrets things, then so be it.

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IAG: I say if that works for you, then that is great. As for your example. For myself, I can stick with my thoughts. On the rare occasion that I may have said something to someone that was hurtful (I've actually been on the receiving end more often than not), I can learn something from the experience and become a better person. Then I let the regret go. There is also the option of asking that person for forgiveness, because you know what you did was wrong... but that is another thread. :) I'm glad that you have found something that seems to work for you and that you can stick up for it. Like I said, I don't think either thought is absolutely right or wrong.

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