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Englishguy1988

Boundaries...

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I have been thinking about my boundaries lately and although I'm still not sure about making out as I always feel guilty when a gf starts begging me to sleep with her and I say no because it makes me feel like I'm just teasing her so it makes me feel really guilty for saying no, hence why I'm on the fence when it comes to making out... Maybe wait until I'm in a longterm relationship?... I don't know :-/

Thinking about this, however, brought up another question which is :- is sending each other sexual messages ok or not (sexting) because in a way I think it would be bad as it would be temptation but if your in a longterm relationship you could message each other and think about when your married. Then again it won't work with me being chaste until marriage. But do you think it would bring you closer together as a couple? :-/ I don't know what to think lol.

What are your opinions on this?

-Aaron

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Aaron,

This is what I think. Might be a little blunt, I"m not sure how this will be taken, so please feel free to PM me.

I always say I'm not spendng the night unless bf/gf. If going on dates, no. NOt until he really calls me his gf. I WANT to, but I know that's a good boundary to set for me personally.

If you are talking about sleeping together as in literally sleeping I see no problem. It is very nice to be able to cuddle, and fall asleep with someone like a serious bf/gf. Probelms obvi arise when making out gets heavy and other person is not waiting. I had to be strict & up front with a guy and when he stayed the night he started going where I didn't want him to and all I sadi was "woah" and he stopped. We just went to sleep after.

I don't think sexual message are okay unless you two are having sex. That issue gets too complicated to "think about when you're married". NO. what you CAN do though is definitly flirty stuff like "I miss my cuddle buddy" "it's lonely with out you" " I can't fall asleep because I ddin't get my kiss goodnight".....does that make sense? Things that are flirty and hint at physical things but NOT actually sex. I think that is fun and still doesn't push to sex.

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Yeah, based on my experiences, sexting and sexual chatting, etc. are destructive and counter-intuitive to waiting till marriage. That's just my opinion.

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I agree wholeheartedly with Sally and Mark. Sexting is NOT ok and I believe it is ultimately damaging to the relationship. I like Sally's advice...its ok to hint at physical activity (kissing, cuddling, etc) but not sex. That will only make you lust after one another more and more which is not very conducive to waiting till marriage to have sex!

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I agree with the points made above. Especially with the way Sally put it. Sexting is just setting you up to fail. Be flirty and fun, but I think you already have a good handle on the healthy boundaries your setting. :)

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what you CAN do though is definitly flirty stuff like "I miss my cuddle buddy" "it's lonely with out you" " I can't fall asleep because I ddin't get my kiss goodnight".....does that make sense? Things that are flirty and hint at physical things but NOT actually sex. I think that is fun and still doesn't push to sex.

that is soo cute Sally I would def. love that in a relationship but as far as the sexting I'm sure I"d actually end up getting really put off about it. Sweetness has a way with me♥

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Same !! I love stuff like that; I think the key is to have fun and mix things up so when you finally get married, you'll have an infinite number of more ways, you just gotta be a lil more creative for now ;)

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