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Sally

Dating a New Person

13 posts in this topic

Okay guys this might be a weird question, but as people WTM, I feel like we can come into situations where we have less "experience" than others so to speak. How do you deal with this?? LIke if a new person you're dating has either gone farther or kissed more people than you?

Personally I'd be nervous and wonder how I "measure up". Just wanted to hear from the guys.

Thanks

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As a guy, my current girlfriend is a non waiter and you can bet it's hard. So many insecurities flood your mind. What if she thinks about him all the time, what if I can't deliver like he can, what if I cant keep up etc...

It's hard for sure, but like an article I read yesterday points out, he/she is choosing you, not their ex. There's a reason why he/she's with you and not their ex and it's because they like you more.

Certainly it's hard to swallow, but there's really nothing you can do about it so I just try to rid myself of all my insecurities.

Anyway hope that answered the question effectively!

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Thanks Connor that definitly helps!

I tend to think about people who aren't waiting as not having potential as a bf for me, but I shouldn't do that =P

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well you shouldnt have to measure. If they really like or love you then the others before you will not matter waiters or not

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I'd say don't worry about it as they are with YOU, not their ex. To me at least an ex is an ex for a reason and I would NEVER compare an ex to a current gf as current gf (hopefully future wife ;-) though) will always be better than an ex.

I never worry about if I'm better than an ex because it always takes a while to "tune in" to someone so that you can read them, their body and learn what they like and how they like it, and although it takes a little while to do its what makes your connection better and will bring me and her closer together.

-Aaron

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Stephie and Aaron,

You both have really good points about the fact that your current bf/gf is with YOU and not their ex for a REASON. I haven't really thought about it that way. I don't really have much experience with that, that is why I was wondering.

I dated a guy sr yr of hs and we were each others first, so this was not a concern.

Then in college I've gone on dates, but only 'been in a relationship' (if you can count it as that) for a month. And he was still hung up on his ex, so myabe that is why I would worry about this?

He would talk about her and say things he liked aobut me that she didn't do. (Like she never introducted himas her bf to toher guys she was friends with)

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I have the same issues. I dated a girl about a year ago for several months who was a non-waiter (and in fact had lived with a guy for 2 years) but I'd known her since we were little kids and it just seemed like God had brought us together finally or whatever and it ended up being really tough. To make matters worse she started to make a big deal about not having sex which really hurt me. That wasn't the only reason we split up but it was one of the major things. But I've dated since and I've found that the more I date the less I care about experience I guess lol. There are plenty of fish in the sea and if a girl doesn't think I've dated enough or had enough "physical" experience then I guess that means its not meant to be.

And Sally...I'm right there with you on dating people still hung up on their exes. That's probably my biggest pet peeve when I'm dating a girl is when she brings up that proverbial ex. I swear it drives me up the friggin' wall lol!

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DD: haha, exactly! I think it's good to have that 'talk' at some point like what you're looking for, what you've had. (In terms of relationships--none serious or only a couple serious, etc) But, talking about an ex a ton--I gotta watch for that again =P

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Oh I definitely agree! Talking about past relationships in that sense is definitely alright and a good thing in my opinion. I dated one girl though who would bring up her ex alot and why she had liked him and that her mom hated him for no reason etc. Then she'd stop herself and say "oh I probly shouldn't be talking about him"... haha I just wanted to be like why are you telling me this??? lol

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So this question kinda goes along with this post, so I didn't want to start a new one. I hung out with a friend last night and we talked for HOURS.....and I think he likes me. My friend hinted at it before (that was another post, but I noticed little things like he'd touch my knee in coversation (crosslegged close together), and wanted to hold my hand for a sec not just like high five, and asked how I just whipped up my hair because it looked pretty.

So guys....am I reading that right or reading too much into it???

Thanks....

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I guess, I was just kinda surprised....guys aren't sly to me....I touch friends arms or shoulders in conversation and I guess this was his way of doing that but in a mote than friend interest way ? I've touched guys ob the arm w/o thinking tho

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And btw seemed a lil nervous so glad u said that's good because it was just the two of us and we've never hung out alone together

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