Tatyana

why sexual choice is debatable?

38 posts in this topic

I just cant comprehend why an individual's choice is anyone else's business. Why do people debate virginity? is it just an American thing? Why must people constantly put their nose in or argue against an individuals choice? I just cant understand that...do I have to be ignorant in order to do so? Ive seen so much hate against virginity.

If I was a non virgin who had different beliefs, I just couldnt see myself chiming in on virgins conversing about their choices and saying "oh youre wasting time you dont want to do that", "no man will wait" unless I was bitter. Thats the only explanation I can come up with, am I lost?

The same with Homosexuality it just pissed me off when people argued against it and told them its not natural blah blah blah. I just kept thinking 'so what?! mind your business its not your life and piss off'(sorry I just get really passionate ^_^ )

I think its more important to spend your time debating on what to do about homelessness or child abuse more important worldly things but to debate about someones personal choice ugh! what gives?

 

Also when you hear "Sex is a need" what are your thoughts about that?

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I agree! It's just so annoying when people get all pissy about other people's personal choices. It's like they act as if being a virgin is taboo, A lot of people accept a girl being a virgin more though, they see their purity. If a guy is a virgin he's seen as a loser. I've only had one person go after me about my choice to WTM, and when he did, I felt that burning rage of a beautiful argument coming.

Sex is and isn't a need. Yes sex is great and most likely boat loads of fun but you don't have to have it all the time, or right away, or in a relationship to survive. It is in many ways a need though, it's needed to reproduce.

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Seriously, I just think haters gone hate and leave it at that. 

Haters gonna hate.

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I just cant comprehend why an individual's choice is anyone else's business. Why do people debate virginity? is it just an American thing? Why must people constantly put their nose in or argue against an individuals choice? I just cant understand that...do I have to be ignorant in order to do so? Ive seen so much hate against virginity.

If I was a non virgin who had different beliefs, I just couldnt see myself chiming in on virgins conversing about their choices and saying "oh youre wasting time you dont want to do that", "no man will wait" unless I was bitter. Thats the only explanation I can come up with, am I lost?

The same with Homosexuality it just pissed me off when people argued against it and told them its not natural blah blah blah. I just kept thinking 'so what?! mind your business its not your life and piss off'(sorry I just get really passionate ^_^ )

I think its more important to spend your time debating on what to do about homelessness or child abuse more important worldly things but to debate about someones personal choice ugh! what gives?

 

Also when you hear "Sex is a need" what are your thoughts about that?

 

Someone being a virgin goes against everything they've been programmed to expect. It isn't anyone's business...unless their your partner. The, "Me, me, me!" mentality is like a cancer that is gradually eroding away any sense of morality or compassion the people of America once had. I've heard girls say, "I could never do it with someone who hasn't done it before," and, "If you think I've had too many partners, you haven't had enough."

 

Me: "WTH kind of venal thinking is this?!"

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People attack what they don't understand. Period. People believe that they they more about your life than you and therefore exert their ideas about your personal life. Virginity is one area where most people assume they have a PhD and always have to get their opinion in. I find it a major turn off and so when someone starts railing off why I should lose my virginity I shut them down. My personal life, and for lack of tact: "what i do with my dick" is NONE of your business, never ever, what so ever.

 

People need to learn to back up and acknowledge that everyone is different. Also, I believe that if you can control ideas of sex it can be liberating. For example, I am 25 and want sex (duh), but I don't feed those desires by thinking about it all day long or whatever. I try to live my life and get on with my day and because i am freeing myself of always worrying about sex, i feel liberated.

Finally, I think that if someone was putting their nose in your personal life to say something like "No, I really think you should do cocaine. No, I do, everybody's doing it, don't you want to be cool and accepted." Then it sounds just as stupid. Naturally, I do not desire for people to do cocaine, but it has a similar stupid argument.

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I guess people feel that they have a right to voice their opinions on something, and I see nothing wrong with that. It's HOW they go around voicing these opinions where it gets bad.

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People attack what they don't understand. Period.

 

I think you hit the nail on the head. This is the underlying reason. And people feel like you need to be more like them.

 

But to be honest: I see this exact same principle at work when someone gives another a hard time because they will only date/marry a virgin. It's ultimately the same principle. Person A doesn't understand how person B could find this so important, and so person A wants and does criticize/attack person B. 

 

It really is the same thing.

 

People not understanding something... they can't relate... and so they rush to judgment (attack) and tell you why your feelings are so messed up.

 

What people need to realize is that we aren't all the same. We all have different sensibilities. Different things are going to have different meanings to us. People just need to lay off, and let others be who they are.

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How can I come out on the positive end without getting so angry about people throwing beliefs at me? I just loathe when people advise what I should and shouldnt in my life or in the life of others its so frustrating, especially when I didnt ask. Its worse when its family...

For example an uncle of mine said "its not healthy that she doesnt have a boyfriend" or my aunt "she's still a virgin thats bad she gonna be a lesbian!" 

I try to ignore it but I cant deny stuff like this doesnt run in my head and before I know it I feel like there's something wrong with me :( but that only lasts about a minute lol :D then Im back to normal again and I get angered when thinking of that one moment I doubted myself because of someone elses stupidity

I wish people would lay off...if its something they dont understand they should just shut up and listen or leave it alone ugh! people are so dumb.

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An alarming trend with Generation Y (1985-1999, in Canada, 1981-1999 in the USA) is that people have a set idea of what love and sex should be. You come of age around 16 years old, you make bad decisions and live life however you want, you have a lot of relationships, have sex with a lot of people, get the party rockin' phase out of the way, and then you get married in your 20s somewhere and settle down and love that one person. All the while having done a lot of stuff with a lot of different people. I will never judge someone for having pre-marital sex, because I would not want to be judged for being a virgin, but it feels like when you have sex with 15 people and then get married you only give each other 60% of "yourself" does that make any sense?

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I'm going to straight out say it: The world is f***ed up.

 

The greatest irony here is on what people DO think is normal. Having many sexual partners: completely normal (even with all the various, completely real, risks it entails). Cheating on your spouse/gf/bf: completely normal. Happens all the time! Using abortion as birth control: Totally normal. Woops!

 

It's more important to be normal than to be responsible? What?

 

There are so many pros for people who wait on sex.... maybe people should spend more of their time saying risking pregnancy and sexual diseases infection with someone they don't plan on being with forever isn't normal.

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I'm going to straight out say it: The world is f***ed up.

 

The greatest irony here is on what people DO think is normal. Having many sexual partners: completely normal (even with all the various, completely real, risks it entails). Cheating on your spouse/gf/bf: completely normal. Happens all the time! Using abortion as birth control: Totally normal. Woops!

 

It's more important to be normal than to be responsible? What?

 

There are so many pros for people who wait on sex.... maybe people should spend more of their time saying risking pregnancy and sexual diseases infection with someone they don't plan on being with forever isn't normal.

 

Yes, but people these days want all the benefits to sex without the responsibilities. They are more concerned with "sexual compatibility" than the risks that it can bring. I put that term in quotations because it's code word for "getting what I want without working for it.

 

While we're talking about irony, I honestly believe that STDs, pregnancy and emotional issues is nature's way of discouraging promiscuity. Despite this, promiscuity is more rampant than ever. The consequences are very real, but people choose to ignore them, They keep telling themselves that the desire for sex is completely natural (which it is) and therefore is good and should be indulged whenever the desire arises. But as we discussed in another thread, nature alone does not mean something is good. 

 

 

. I will never judge someone for having pre-marital sex, because I would not want to be judged for being a virgin, but it feels like when you have sex with 15 people and then get married you only give each other 60% of "yourself" does that make any sense?

 

I see what you're saying and I agree. But once again, those who see nothing wrong with pre-marital sex don't think of it in terms of "giving yourself" to sexual partners. They think of sex in terms of experience as a positive connotation. In fact, some of them feel that you SHOULD have lots of sexual experience because it helps them be better in bed by the time they tie the knot. Which IMO is morally corrupt because it implies that any previous sexual partner was simply a means to an end.

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The same with Homosexuality it just pissed me off when people argued against it and told them its not natural blah blah blah. I just kept thinking 'so what?! mind your business its not your life and piss off'(sorry I just get really passionate ^_^ )

 

Also when you hear "Sex is a need" what are your thoughts about that?

If homosexuality is none of our business then how come there is a lot of talk about same sex marriage these days. That has a lot to do with homosexuality. See the thing is for same sex marriage to be legal in most places the people who are not homosexual have to vote for it just for it to get enough votes as there aren't as many homosexuals as there are heterosexuals. So for this to be done, homosexuals need heterosexuals' support.

 

So when my friends ask me to support same sex marriage whether it's by displaying a specific photo on Facebook to support it or by buying something or even voting I decline. Inevitably they ask why and my explanation sometimes pisses them off, but they were asking for it. 

 

You didn't mention same sex marriage specifically, but I wanted to point out that in some cases we (people who may disagree with same sex marriage for whatever reason) are put on the spot and our views may offend certain people but it's their problem if they're offended.

 

"Sex is a need"

 

I agree. I need to have sex. I have an incredible desire to do it which is why waiting is so hard, but if I didn't need it than the desire would be non-existent. Maybe for someone else it's different but I'll be frank with you. Sex for me is a need and it varies from person to person. One's need for sex depends on many factors.

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If homosexuality is none of our business then how come there is a lot of talk about same sex marriage these days. That has a lot to do with homosexuality. See the thing is for same sex marriage to be legal in most places the people who are not homosexual have to vote for it just for it to get enough votes as there aren't as many homosexuals as there are heterosexuals. So for this to be done, homosexuals need heterosexuals' support.

 

So when my friends ask me to support same sex marriage whether it's by displaying a specific photo on Facebook to support it or by buying something or even voting I decline. Inevitably they ask why and my explanation sometimes pisses them off, but they were asking for it. 

 

You didn't mention same sex marriage specifically, but I wanted to point out that in some cases we (people who may disagree with same sex marriage for whatever reason) are put on the spot and our views may offend certain people but it's their problem if they're offended.

But it wouldnt have to be supported at all if someone kept their nose out of their business in the first place, marriage is a choice not a debate. America doesnt seem to understand that "its a free country"...yeah with some exceptions. Personally I dont care because it doesnt affect me or my life, same with virginity they're not the ones waiting so they shouldnt care either and they should leave us be.

I still think

Debating strongly against something that has nothing to do with you = stupid

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To be fair I tell people they should wait all the time especially friends who are debating on the subject.

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Another way to look at the same issue is waiting until marriage is Faithfulness^2. By that I mean it is merely a higher level of faithfulness to where one or both parties values being totally faithful. Faithfulness if not even a hard concept, don't mess around with someone who is not your wife, lol. 

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look business is business, people are people, God is God, guns are guns, stupid is stupid, and we are who we are, if people kept there noses out of other business, there would be no debate on guns, freedom, or homosexuality, WE are a free country. its my choice to have a gun, with your logic its not debatable because its my business, but because we as a people are loud mouthed, and opinionated(cause of freedom) we believe that is our right to, which it is, which it is wrong for yall to get mad about peoples opinions and stickin their noses in others business, Homosexualtiy is a choice that peopel make, and its debatable because we live in a free country, i have my own thoughts about it, but i choose not to exercise my right of freedom of speech, so there.

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Homosexuality is not a choice, so don't say it's a choice based on our freedom, we may have the freedom to debate whether it is or not, but we don't have the freedom the choose our sexuality.

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Homosexuality is not a choice, so don't say it's a choice based on our freedom, we may have the freedom to debate whether it is or not, but we don't have the freedom the choose our sexuality.

i can proove you wrong

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How can you in anyway prove me wrong? You don't choose your sexuality, I haven't decided to be straight, I just am. You can tell when someone will turn out to be a homosexual when they're young, 5 years old young. Homosexuality is a genetic trait and not anyone's fault, temptation, or choice. People who claim to have been "cured" of homosexuality are full of shit. You can't decide what turns you on or not, just because religion doesn't agree with homosexuality and claims its a sin and temptation from the devil means nothing.

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you lnow what josh, i think u are full of shit, i do, i think you know NOTHING of this world, so ya 

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you lnow what josh, i think u are full of shit, i do, i think you know NOTHING of this world, so ya

Well I feel that was uncalled for while I am stating facts.

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facts bahahaha, like your facts about Obama, or guns, or life, ahahahah the crap you say, bahahahha not, facts you dont know facts bud, do more research, ask people who were once gay, then are now straight, ask people like that before yhou say " they are full of shit" k, look up websites that are unbiased, and dont get all you crap from the news, because hoenstly it makes me frustrated when you talk about stuff that isnt true, or half true

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