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Virginity in the USA

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Hello,

 

recently, I stumbled upon this trailer for a movie called: "How to lose your virginity". It´s a documentary...basically about virginity nowadays. It´s a US-production, as far as I know. It´s quite....interesting.

Take a look:

 

Edit: I took the Videos down. You can search it on vimeo for example, if you are interested in watching it.

 

 

 

There is also this site virginitymovie.com where the film gets promoted and people share their views on virginity. They can share their definition of virginity and tell their stories. I read some of them...Most aren´t virgins anymore, but there are also some "older" ones like 40+ years old.

I don´t know yet, what the site really pursues. They are definitely not pro-WTM, but maybe not entirely against it!? I don´t know. I think it´s more like: "Everybody can do with their body what they want. There is no shame in being a virgin, but there is also no shame in being a non-virgin. Embrace your sexuality the way YOU want to and not the way society expect it from you"

or something like that....

 

 

So what´s up with all the "virginity-hype" as seen in the trailers? Do you experience it like that? I have the feeling that in the USA virginity is still a very controversial topic? At least it seems that it´s more talked about than here in Germany. Is virginity really in the news and get much talked about?

What is it about these purity balls? Did you attend one yourself? Are there also purity balls for boys?

 

Another thing that´s quite...interesting, weird (I don´t know) and was shown in the trailers...is the fact that so many young "celebrities"/singers/actors/actresses make a public claim that they want to stay a virgin until marriage, go around with their purity rings a couple of years and then they ditch it, eventually...I just don´t get it. What´s the logic behind that? Is it a US-phenomenon?

 

I guess, the first "celebrities" I found out about who wanted to wait until marriage were the Jonas Brothers. And I thought it was so cool, because I felt less lonely in my decision and just the thought of:" I am not the only one on this earth who feels that way" was so encouraging. And the fact that they were guys, was even cooler.

But then I started to notice this strange pattern with the "Disney"Stars:

Selena Gomez, Miley Cyrus, Britney Spears, Jonas Brothers, Demi Lovato....they all claimed to WTM. I´m not saying that they don´t wait anymore (well, except of Britney Spears and Kevin Jonas who got married)...it´s their lives and I don´t know them personally, obviously. But even Joe Jonas said that he ditched his purity ring. That doesn´t mean that he ditched his resolve to WTM, but it seems like it. He can do whatever he wants, anyway.

However, these "behavior patterns" are just really misleading and it can be really confusing for young people who look up to some of these "celebrities" and maybe feel strengthened in their decision to wait or maybe even got inspired and think that it could maybe be the right choice for them as well. Especially when they know no one else in their own social environment who waits. 

And then the "celebrity" ditches his/her purity ring, gets a whole new image and basically leaves the message to the world: "Ha ha, it was all a joke. You didn´t really thought I would wait, did you?"

And the majority of the world (which would be non-waiters) think: "Well, I knew it. It was just a matter of time. Nobody waits. Waiting is just impossible and illogical".

And the person who waits feels probably sort of betrayed in a strange way and alone again.

When the celebrity ditches his/her resolve to wait all of a sudden, it is like he/she is showing a big fat middle finger to everyone out there (without knowing it) who actually MEAN their decision seriously and it makes the "real" waiters look ridiculous and not reliable. Of course people change and opinions on life matters change, but if you are not sure if you actually want to wait or not, then just don´t claim it publicly and have thousands of young people look up to you.

Maybe I´m the only one who feels this way.

 

I just can imagine that this is a factor (even when it´s only very small) why WTM is seen so negative and impossible sometimes. Those "celebrities" actually show it with their strange behavior patterns...or weird contracts they might have to sign.

Have you seen the South Park episode with the Jonas Brothers and Mickey Mouse? It was also broadcasted here in Germany. Even when it´s only a joke and for fun....on a serious and sad note, it is no wonder why WTM has such a bad image nowadays and isn´t really taken seriously.

 

Another thing what quite baffles me are these "Abstinence-only-programs".

The site I mentioned above is definitely against those programs and I can now understand why.

We don´t have such programs where I live, so it is actually hard to believe that something like that is actually taught in schools!?

 

Here some short clips:

 

Edit: I took the Videos down. If you are interested in watching them, I was referring to Videos on YouTube of the channel "AmplifyYourVoice".

 

Any thoughts on that? I think it´s awful, because this approach won´t really work, will it? This will not hinder teens to have sex. And then they probably have unsafe sex, if those "Abstinence-only-programs" are the only "sexual" education they get. And I think it´s sad that they ignore the LGBT-community.

So have you ever been to one "Abstinence-only-class"? Is it really like that? I still can´t believe it.

 

So that´s again another factor why WTM has such a bad image or reputation, I guess.

Have you noticed how in the second trailer one of the last sentences was like: Evangelical Christians vs. sex positive feminists? Maybe they didn´t intend to make it sound like that, but I guess, they said it on purpose. I mean, why isn´t an evangelical Christian seen as sex-positive as well?

You can be sex-positive and wait till marriage all at once! But I think the majority of the world doesn´t see it that way and that´s again why WTM has such a negative image.

I don´t even know why that bothers me so much, but it does.

 

I only wish, that WTM could be presented and seen as a legitimate choice, a personal choice, a heart´s desire, a possible journey, part of someone´s identity and indicator for a very positive view of sex, instead of the other way around.

WTM can be a choice among many others. Whatever your gender, religion or any other background is. And it can and should be your own decision.

 

I know it was a very long post. So thanks for reading :-)

Feel free to share your thoughts on any of this stuff above.

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Another thing what quite baffles me are these "Abstinence-only-programs".

The site I mentioned above is definitely against those programs and I can now understand why.

We don´t have such programs where I live, so it is actually hard to believe that something like that is actually taught in schools!?

 

Any thoughts on that? I think it´s awful, because this approach won´t really work, will it? This will not hinder teens to have sex. And then they probably have unsafe sex, if those "Abstinence-only-programs" are the only "sexual" education they get. And I think it´s sad that they ignore the LGBT-community.

So have you ever been to one "Abstinence-only-class"? Is it really like that? I still can´t believe it.

 

The problem with those videos is that they basically say: "These are the awful things that were taught in one abstinence-only program! That means that all abstinence-only programs are exactly the same, and need to be banned!" When of course, not every abstinence-only course is going to be like that: most of them will be completely normal, but they'll only highlight the horror stories. 

 

I've already posted a thread in the Viewer's Discretion about some of the things they teach in "comprehensive" sex-ed classes:

 

http://forums.waitingtillmarriage.org/topic/1571-comprehensive-sex-education-pretty-explicit-stuff/

 

xxx

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I think it's interesting that at the end of the trailer she asks why virginity has so much power-it's because, despite what so many people wish to tell themselves, deep down inside every human knows how meaningful sex is! It is flung around by many as meaningless fun, but it's quite the opposite! Just because it takes a while to get the hang of it doesn't make it any less meaningful.

 

In regards to celebrities and the Jonas brothers in particular, I assume that many regret being so public about it because it can tend to overshadow what they wish to talk about. I watched a Barbara Walters special where she interviewed them and when she asked about it they answered that they really didn't want to talk about it. If I remember correctly, their father is/was a pastor, so it is probably very much a part of their value system. I have a purity ring that I never wear, but I am still very committed to WTM. It is probably the same for others, famous or not. I can understand why they don't want to talk about/advertise it, it is something that is very personal. I think the ones who truly want to WTM mention it with good intentions, but then find that they will get asked about it in every interview and it becomes uncomfortable or a distraction.

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@JegsyScarr-I didn't see that post before now. That's just weird stuff. It would be so awkward to have a teacher talk about that kind of stuff.

Having sex education (of any type) in schools is a touchy subject to me. While I think in most cases it has to be parents who instill those values, some parents simply won't talk to their kids about this topic and other kids don't really have parents in their lives. For those reasons I do think it is necessary to have sex education in school, but I'm not entirely sure about the best way to go about it.

As to the actual topic of this thread, there are probably many reasons celebrities make public virginity pledges. Some probably really mean it, but then as they get older change their mind. Some, like Kailey said, coke to regret publicly revealing such private information. Others probably see it as simply a career move.

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@ Jegsy Scarr

Oh, that´s what I thought or wasn´t sure about. They probably used only very bad stories, so that the viewer of these videos assumes every other program is like that, too. Thanks for the link! I will check it out :)

But still, I think it´s a shame to teach something like that in the videos to students and say that they are worthless if they had sex and stuff like that. Nobody should get the feeling to be worthless. And especially teachers or some other adults should be doing that even less.

 

@ Kailey

Yes, I think that´s interesting, too. Virginity has so much power. Even in porn apparently. That´s somehow strange. I think most people don´t really think about virginity or sex. They just do it and it´s fine to them. I think, to some people sex isn´t as meaningful as it is to others. But I agree with you, that everybody probably knows to some extent deep down inside, that it actually has some meaning. Why else would someone freak out, when they find out their girl-/boyfriend had sex with somebody else, if sex has really so less meaning? They just had a little bit of fun with someone else. No big deal.

 

In regards to the celebrites:

I totally agree with you. If I was in their shoes, I would think very carefuly, whether I want to share this personal information with the rest of the world or whether I should keep it to myself. Besides, I would want to be known and liked only for my work in the first place and that´s how it should be, I think. You don´t know these people personally, anyways, so I guess it´s hard to have a "role model" in the public eye when it comes to personal stuff, because you never know who that "celebrity" really is inside.

 

In regards to the Jonas Brothers:

Yes, I can totally understand that they never wanted to talk about it. Maybe they didn´t expect it to be such a big deal in the media and probably regretted it to be so open about it. I honestly think, that they started out with a genuine intention to wait. They had these rings even before they signed with Disney and it was never a big deal. And then all of a sudden, the media blowed it up. That was probably a bummer for them. I´m not saying that they don´t wait anymore now. A ring is just a ring, after all. Maybe they put theirs aside, so that the people focus on the important stuff for them, which would be their work. People can assume what they want, after all.

 

But in general, I still find it suspicious, that so many young celebrities make the claim to wait till marriage, openly. I don´t know...maybe it´s because that would never happen in my country. Virginity or Waiting till marriage isn´t an aid here to get a "clean" image or to assure the parents that their young child can securely support this or that "celebrity" and can go to their concerts or whatever, without seeing or hearing any inappropriate stuff.

I mean, why else should a young celebrity claim to be a virgin and to be a waiter? I still don´t get it. After all, they have people who advise them and say if it would be good or bad to mention it publicly. So I just can´t help, but to think, that there is probably more reason or thought behind it, maybe even relating to business. Probably not in every case, but apparently in some. There are definitely celebrities who actually mean it or meant it (like the Jonas Brothers probably....well, at least Kevin Jonas for sure).

I feel creepy now, because I write so much about people I don´t even know. I´m not really big on celebrities and don´t investigate their private lives.

I don´t really care that much, if a celebrity waits or not. As long as they are happy with the way they live, they can do whatever they want, of course.

I just care about the effects it can have on young people who may looked up to some waiter and get confused (because BAM, here comes the new sexy image with new sort of promiscuous performances etc...) and, as mentioned in my previous post, the false and slightly negative perception of WTM it can cause for the rest of the world. When somebody openly ditches their WTM-resolve and then people are like: "See, it´s impossible to wait. Even he/she doesn´t wait anymore...." It´s not really helpful for the rest of the "waiter-society". Quite the contrary.

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As to the actual topic of this thread, there are probably many reasons celebrities make public virginity pledges. Some probably really mean it, but then as they get older change their mind. Some, like Kailey said, coke to regret publicly revealing such private information. Others probably see it as simply a career move.

 

I think so, too. And when it is used as simply a career move, it makes me sick. I don´t even know why. I guess, because of the reasons I mentioned above. That was actually my whole point. When somebody uses a value that is very close to your own heart, just to have a cleaner image and some couple years down the road ditches it again. It makes me sick and it shouldn´t be allowed to do. Not saying that it´s necessarily the fault of the actual celebrity...who knows what goes on behind closed doors or what conditions some have to fulfill.

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So what´s up with all the "virginity-hype" as seen in the trailers? Do you experience it like that? I have the feeling that in the USA virginity is still a very controversial topic? At least it seems that it´s more talked about than here in Germany. Is virginity really in the news and get much talked about?

Another thing that´s quite...interesting, weird (I don´t know) and was shown in the trailers...is the fact that so many young "celebrities"/singers/actors/actresses make a public claim that they want to stay a virgin until marriage, go around with their purity rings a couple of years and then they ditch it, eventually...I just don´t get it. What´s the logic behind that? Is it a US-phenomenon?

 

Virginity in the US is definitely still a controversial topic. The US is still very "Christian" (ha!) and although sex seems to be everywhere in the media, it is a much bigger deal for it to happen in real life. Especially among teenagers. Teenagers having sex is quite the taboo in America. They have no problem showing it on TV, but in real life? It's seen as a major problem. Which it kind of is, but whatever. Young celebrities, especially ones with Disney, say they are WTM because a lot of them are Christian, haven't really developed hormones yet, and it makes them look like very good role models. But yes, ultimately, they ditch them. Not all of them, though.

 

I don't know how teen sex and pregnancy is handled in Germany. What is the situation over there? What do people and the media think of it? How is it viewed? Like I said, it is a BIG deal in America. In my home country, Canada, it's much less of an issue because we have all forms of birth control 100% legal and available to teenagers, very often for free. So we get much less teen pregnancy here. Canadian teens also lose their virginities on average about a year later than American teens.

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Virginity in the US is definitely still a controversial topic. The US is still very "Christian" (ha!) and although sex seems to be everywhere in the media, it is a much bigger deal for it to happen in real life. Especially among teenagers. Teenagers having sex is quite the taboo in America. They have no problem showing it on TV, but in real life? It's seen as a major problem. Which it kind of is, but whatever. Young celebrities, especially ones with Disney, say they are WTM because a lot of them are Christian, haven't really developed hormones yet, and it makes them look like very good role models. But yes, ultimately, they ditch them. Not all of them, though.

 

Thanks for the explanation. I definitely used to hear that the USA is quite serious about sex, virginity etc., but I was never able to fathom it out. Especially because all the US media (like music, movies, TV series that are "imported" here) seem to be the total opposite and very sexual at times. I guess, to really get an impression of it all, you need to visit the particular country or state. It definitely sounds a little bit conflicting what´s going on there, to be honest. But it´s cool, when somebody declares, that they want to wait and actually mean it.

 

 

I don't know how teen sex and pregnancy is handled in Germany. What is the situation over there? What do people and the media think of it? How is it viewed? Like I said, it is a BIG deal in America. In my home country, Canada, it's much less of an issue because we have all forms of birth control 100% legal and available to teenagers, very often for free. So we get much less teen pregnancy here. Canadian teens also lose their virginities on average about a year later than American teens.

 

 

I just made a post in the thread "WTM in your country". I hope I could answer your questions satisfiable. If you happen to have some more questions, don´t hesitate to ask :-)

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Just to add to our conversation above about celebrities and in particular the Jonas Brothers:

Recently I stumbled across this "article" in which Joe Jonas tells "his story". That´s what he said about those infamous purity rings and waiting until marriage to have sex:

 

"[...] The topic that dominated news coverage of us for a long time was the whole promise-ring thing. We couldn’t escape it. It started when I was really young—I must have been 10 or 11. There’s a program people do in some churches called True Love Waits, where you wait for marriage to have sex. Kevin and I decided to join—Nick tried it later. Fast-forward a few years, we’ve started playing music and we’re working with Disney and we have these rings.

 

I remember this interview with this guy whose entire agenda was to focus on the rings. He kept pushing the subject, and when we insisted that we didn’t want to talk about it, he told us, “I can write whatever I want,†which terrified us. That’s the thing: We didn’t know any better, and we just wanted to make people happy. Now I know that I don’t have to answer any questions I don’t want to. Like, why do you even care about my 15-year-old brother’s sex life?

 

But back then, we explained that we had made these promises to ourselves when we were younger. A few months later, it comes out that we’re in some cult and that we’re these little staged Mickey Mouse kids. People were coming up to us, saying, “Thank you so much, I’m waiting because you guys are, too!†And we just thought, No! That’s not what we’re about.

 

Because of our age, because of Disney, because of those rings, there were so many things throughout our career that we had to sugarcoat. If a lyric was slightly sexual, someone at the record company would tell us we had to change it. It could be the most innocent reference, like “I’m alone in a room with you,†and it would have to go. It felt like we couldn’t be creative, so we stopped listening to them and just started handing shit in.

 

We decided to take the rings off a few years ago. I lost my virginity when I was 20. I did other stuff before then, but I was sexually active at 20. I’m glad I waited for the right person, because you look back and you go, “That girl was batshit crazy. I’m glad I didn’t go there.

[...]

 

When I was 20, I started dating Ashley Greene, and she was my first serious relationship. We were together for almost a year. I was living out in L.A. by myself, and at the end of the day, long distance didn’t work. It’s incredibly difficult. I did a cover story with Details acknowledging the relationship, and the day after it was on newsstands, we announced our breakup. That was just coincidence, but it’s funny how that always happens, right? After Ashley, I took two or three years to just be single. I was hooking up and having fun. Now I’m with someone I really care about. We get each other. [...]"

 

Source: http://www.vulture.com/2013/11/joe-jonas-talks-jonas-brothers.html

 

Well, it´s not really surprising.....they can do what they want, anyway.

It´s just a little bit of a bummer, because they were the very first people on earth I heard of who wanted to wait and made me feel less of a freak. It was like finding a needle in a haystack. But it turns out, they probably never really meant it seriously in the first place and got pressured by their label....

Hollywood is just full of lies and always will be.

I really have a hard time believing celebrities who want to wait, especially when they are young.....and the thing which bothers me the most, is just this misleading of young people who may even are looking up to them in some sort (and maybe felt less alone in their waiting journey)....but I´ve written all my thoughts down in the previous posts in this thread anyway, so I better won´t repeat myself right now....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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If it makes you feel any better, I'm pretty sure the older Jonas Brother waited until marriage.

 

Also, I don't know if you can really say even the ones who aren't waiting anymore never really meant it. They were teenagers. A lot of teenagers think they're going to wait until marriage and then change their mind.

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If it makes you feel any better, I'm pretty sure the older Jonas Brother waited until marriage.

 

Also, I don't know if you can really say even the ones who aren't waiting anymore never really meant it. They were teenagers. A lot of teenagers think they're going to wait until marriage and then change their mind.

 

Exactly. They were teenagers. That´s the point. Many teenagers say that they are going to wait. But then they realise it´s not for them. That´s fine, of course. People change.

But why announce it publicly, when they aren´t even sure if they mean it?

 

And frankly: How serious can somebody be when he/she decides to wait until marriage at an age like 11/12/13/14....?

Not so much, I think....(of course there are exceptions, I guess...).

They join for example a church program as a CHILD and think they want to wait without even reflecting their decision and hence can´t really mean their decision. Because they don´t even know what this decision will mean when they get older....and then they dump it, after they realise what the decision to wait really means for their (dating)-life....

It´s understandable that they dump it, because they made a big life-decision at an age they weren´t really able to do such decisions...

This happens probably a lot....especially with children who took part in such programs....

That´s bad, but I guess, things like this will always continue to happen.

And that´s not really my point, anyway.

 

My point is, that those famous people who declare to wait and walk around in public with their rings or other "pure" jewelry and then after they hit their twenties completely dump it and suddenly act all different are kind of sending the message (without probably knowing or even wanting it): "See, waiting isn´t possible. Even I do not wait anymore"! 

The image WTM gets partly because of those (famous) cases, is the thing what bothers me. WTM is seen as oldfashioned, weird and illogical enough nowadays....and those cases just increase it and aren´t really helping the rest of the waiters who truly mean their decision. No wonder why waiting can´t be taken seriously.....

 

This happened a lot in the past (for example all the Disney Kids....). It´s fine that they changed their opinion personally (or maybe just realised what this decision even means and that it isn´t right for them, because when you are 10 years old they can´t really mean it) , but why is there obviously a strange need to declare publicly that somebody is WTM? Why not keep it personal?

 

People in the public eye are always role models. Automatically. No matter if they want to be one or not.

It is just a misguidance to those, who thought: "Cool, I´m not the only waiter on earth". Especially to those, who never ever heard of somebody who wants to wait and do not know waiters (or even heard of some) in their own social environment.

 

Imagine you are the only human on earth with green skin and after years of struggling and feeling alone you FINALLY find another human being with green skin and couldn´t feel happier. And then after some years you find out, that this other human being only painted their skin with green color and doesn´t actually have green skin. You were deceived for years and probably feel stupid. It sucks.

That´s approximately how I felt.....

 

Well, I don´t know if my feelings are understandable. I get it, when nobody understands what I mean. I guess, you guys have many many famous waiters out there in America. In my country that´s not the case. We have nobody. The Disney Kids are pretty much the only ones who are more or less famous here....and they seem to always dump their "decision" anyway and everybody is like: "Ha, ha, see waiting is just bulls**t."

 

And I´m not saying that it´s always the celebrities fault, necessarily.....Labels, contracts, media, business-pressure...it all comes together, I guess. And especially when you are a teenager, life and decision will change anyway in the next few years...

 

Last thing: My intention wasn´t to represent celebrities (or in this thread in particular the Jonas Brothers) as liers or such.

They can do whatever they want. As long as somebody is happy with their life decisions, go for it....

I just think that this "phenomenon" of (young) people announcing to wait and then dumping it isn´t really helpful for the image of waiting. That´s all what I wanted to say. It seems to me that in America WTM has a slightly better image. In my country it is horrific and that´s probably why it sucks to hear of such cases a hundered times more.

Sorry, this was long.

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I agree that it hurts the image of waiting until marriage. I think it makes people view it as a childish, naive decision (as its usually children and teenagers who come out publicly as waiters and then take it back). I can't get too mad at kids for revealing it publicly, though. I mean.....they're kids. They're not going to be capable of handling their fame as gracefully as adults. I more blame the media for being creepy enough to be curious about teenagers' sex lives.

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@wny

 

I agree. I´m not necessarily mad at those children/teenagers. I guess, it´s the people "behind the scenes", weird contracts to keep a "clean" image and the media, like you said.

 

It´s just unfortunate, overall. I think WTM should just be a personal thing and especially children/teenagers shouldn´t claim that they are waiting....because often they will change their mind as they get older or find that WTM isn´t the right thing for them (which leads to a whole new, often more sexual and permissive image the media was waiting for anyway.....).

 

Don´t they have managers and other "business-people" who give them advice about what to say and what to keep personal?

I guess, when somebody claims to WTM it is in most cases just for a good, innocent image, so that the parents are ensured that their kids can listen/watch the material of the singer/actor/actress/band etc....

 

When an adult "celebrity" is saying that he/she is WTM, it´s way more believable.

But still: I just don´t get the whole sense behind claiming that somebody is WTM publicly.....Maybe it´s just an interesting (mostly american) cultural aspect!? I don´t know.....

 

But cool, that you agree that it hurts the image of WTM. I thought I was the only one.

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When an adult "celebrity" is saying that he/she is WTM, it´s way more believable.

But still: I just don´t get the whole sense behind claiming that somebody is WTM publicly.....Maybe it´s just an interesting (mostly american) cultural aspect!? I don´t know.....

 

I know you are focusing on WTM but I would like to look at a broader aspect of why do celebrities say anything about their personal choices/sexuality anyways. Who cares what they do with their lives and when/where/with whom they want to have sex with??? I think a celebrity claiming that they are WTM is just a part of celebrity life and how some people's lives literally revolve around the celebrity and what they are doing. They might see them as a role model or something but I think every nation has to question why an actor/actress should be seen as something so powerful in the first place. Some people know more about Kim Kardashian than about their own government or even their own identity. The problem is that there is no sense behind why people care so much about celebrities and their lives. Do people in Germany not care about celebrities and certain aspects that they do or certain ideas they promote?

I agree that it is a part of the "clean" image and only damages the WTM look but they also do the same when calling themselves Christians (I know not all do but calling oneself a Christian seems to also be a "cool" thing to do at times). Calling oneself a label that is from a belief that encourages abstinence, humility, pious and other good qualities and doing the exact opposite equally damages the labels and provides more ammo to those who really do try to live the lifestyle.

Personally I only think the weird controversy behind WTM is because it has been brought into the public sphere. The purity balls (mostly done is devout religious circles) were never really a big deal and no one really knew too much about them until someone made a documentary that came from a viewpoint that they were weird. And then Bush Jr. did the weird purity ring thing. Another thing is that sexuality/sex is placed on a pedestal in this country IMO and WTM is a challenge to that type of power. It is a weird struggle between let it hang free and keep it in your pants. And the U.S hasn't really found a balance between the two.

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"Nobody waits. Waiting is just impossible and illogical". I strongly disagree!! Anybody?

Waiting is the right thing to do. It isn't impossible, I've waited 40 years. It hasn't always been easy, but I haven't found the right one yet.

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"Nobody waits. Waiting is just impossible and illogical". I strongly disagree!! Anybody?

first.... why are you even on this site :blink: ?

second.... man im a virgin and ever since im still waiting till marriage(im not influenced by this site but because its what i want for my life since highschool).... and dont tell me you gave it up  at your 15's?

 

im not putting you in shame but   its LOGICAL TO WAIT, waiting is as simple as waiting for your birthday

you should *we should atleast wait for *our decision making to be atleast mature enough and  "LOGICAL"

judging by the way you talk youre at early 20's and not at mid 20's

*just my opinion

*EDITED FOR MISUNDERSTANDING* my sincere apology.

~JM

Edited by lithiamorgan

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@ loyalhero90

 

Sorry for the late reply. Just couldn´t find the time to reply to you earlier.

 

I think, I agree with you! Sure, WTM is only an example. You´re right, there are many other personal things some "celebrities" share with the world.

 

 

I think a celebrity claiming that they are WTM is just a part of celebrity life and how some people's lives literally revolve around the celebrity and what they are doing. They might see them as a role model or something but I think every nation has to question why an actor/actress should be seen as something so powerful in the first place.

 

Yes, I agree. Every nation should question why a "celebrity" should be seen as something so powerful. 

I guess, it´s because their lives are very public, and depending on what their job is or where you see or hear them (Radio, TV etc...), they can sort of become a part of someone´s everyday life. For example an actor in a TV series or a singer/band whose music you like and listen to very often/everyday.

Especially kids can be influenced by things and people they see on TV. It starts with movies or fairy tales you see as a kid, for example. Sometimes I hear little girls say: "Oh, I´d like to be Cinderella or at least want a dress like her. She´s so pretty" or "When I grow up, I want to be like [insert name of singer/actress/actor], because I want to be as good as him/her".

Maybe sometimes "celebrities" can show people (and maybe kids) what possibilities there are in life and what you can do in your life when you don´t know anybody in your own social environment who does the same things as the "celebrity".

For example, I heard stories from musicians who aren´t from a Musical Family, at all. But because they saw [insert Name of singer/band] on TV, they got interested in playing an instrument.

I don´t know if it gets clear what I´m trying to say here. It´s just some thoughts to "Why are "celebrities" seen as so powerful?"

 

Of course, it always depends on what those celebrities do.

I´m not big on celebrities and don´t spend much time trying to get information about famous people or so....

I heard of the Kardashians, but I never saw their Show (but I believe, it is broadcasted also in my country).

I don´t even know who they really are....But yeah, some people´s lives probably revolve around some celebrities.

 

With regard to the Jonas Brothers (because they were the main celebrities I was talking about in this thread):

I didn´t really care, that they were celebrities. I was just so happy to hear from some people who obviously wanted to WTM.

If it would´ve been my neighbour who wanted to wait and the first one I´ve found out about, it would´ve been equally awesome :)

Main point was, that I wasn´t the only one who wanted to wait anymore.

But since I´ve found this site, I know that I´m not the only one anyway :-) It´s very encouraging.

 

 

 Do people in Germany not care about celebrities and certain aspects that they do or certain ideas they promote?

 

 

Hmmmm....good question!

No, I think they certainly do care. I think, it´s probably similar to the US (or any other country).

I don´t know....maybe I´m not the best person to ask that, because I´m actually not that interested in celebrities personal life. Well, maybe I should say in "gossip" and stuff. But I certainly like to hear their personal stories....for example how they got there where they are now (in their professional lives, for example). I´m more interested in their work......if they are working.....(movies, music etc...) Although it´s always cool to hear some public waiters, of course....But like I said, that seems to be more common in the US or at least with "celebrities" from the US. 

US-celebrities are way more known in the world, anyway.

I mean, I highly highly doubt, that you guys in America watch many German movies, for example on TV or the Cinema, are you?

I don´t know. I can´t imagine that they are broadcasted. Maybe sometimes. But probably not very often. I don´t, though.

Maybe I´m wrong.

 

So I get why it can be interesting to want to know everything about a public person. And WTM is just a part of that.

But a "celebrity" declaring to wait in the public, still seems to be more common in the US.

In Germany there was one contestant on the german version of "American Idol" who wanted to wait. A man. But that was like ten years ago or even more. I only can remember, that everyone made a little bit fun of him. and he didn´t care at all :P

That was cool. He´s married now and has a child. Yaay.

And then there is a (german) boxer who waited, as well. But that´s it. At least, I haven´t heard from anyone else yet.

 

So to answer your question: Yes, I think that people in Germany also care about celebrities and certain aspects that they do or certain ideas they promote.

But with regard to WTM, I can´t say how they would react if it would be more common for "celebrities" to declare that they are waiting in the public eye.

I guess, nobody even questions that anyway. There isn´t even the option to "WTM" (at least in the minds of the people).

So I doubt that they would ask themselves: "Hmm. I wonder if he/she is WTM!? I wonder what her/his  opinion concerning WTM is. I´d like to know that".

Nobody waits here, so they probably assume that the celebrities don´t wait, either.

 

And one question:

 

 

 And then Bush Jr. did the weird purity ring thing.

 

What does Bush Jr. have to do with the purity ring thing? 

Was he the one who introduced them in "abstinence-programs" in the USA?

Just asking out of curiosity. I didn´t know, that he had anything to do with that.

I think, it´s always interesting to learn about some aspects of other countries :)

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@Mstr Josh

 

I guess, you´re right. I think she quoted what I said in my very first post (when I quoted the non-waiter-world):

 

 

And then the "celebrity" ditches his/her purity ring, gets a whole new image and basically leaves the message to the world: "Ha ha, it was all a joke. You didn´t really thought I would wait, did you?"

And the majority of the world (which would be non-waiters) think: "Well, I knew it. It was just a matter of time. Nobody waits. Waiting is just impossible and illogical".

And the person who waits feels probably sort of betrayed in a strange way and alone again.

 

 

@lithiamorgan

You probably misunderstood her. It always helps to read a whole thread ;-)

But Welcome to the Forums! Cool, that you know that WTM is what you want for your life!

And in regard to the "way of talking", you mentioned:

Since she quoted me (indirectly, because I actually quoted somebody else), it was my way of choosing the words (but I didn´t even try to sound elaborate in this case anyway. It was just meant to be a casual sentence). 

Keep in mind that not everybody on this site grew up with English as their native language.

I don´t know if English is your native language or not. It´s not mine, at any rate, so I apologize when I sometimes sound not elaborate enough. But I´m trying really hard. And sometimes.....it´s just easier in a foreign language to not sound elaborate....maybe you know it from own experience with foreign languages.

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@Mstr Josh

 

I guess, you´re right. I think she quoted what I said in my very first post (when I quoted the non-waiter-world):

 

 

@lithiamorgan

You probably misunderstood her. It always helps to read a whole thread ;-)

But Welcome to the Forums! Cool, that you know that WTM is what you want for your life!

And in regard to the "way of talking", you mentioned:

Since she quoted me (indirectly, because I actually quoted somebody else), it was my way of choosing the words (but I didn´t even try to sound elaborate in this case anyway. It was just meant to be a casual sentence). 

Keep in mind that not everybody on this site grew up with English as their native language.

I don´t know if English is your native language or not. It´s not mine, at any rate, so I apologize when I sometimes sound not elaborate enough. But I´m trying really hard. And sometimes.....it´s just easier in a foreign language to not sound elaborate....maybe you know it from own experience with foreign languages.

You really are awesome.

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@ Mirage

 

Ha ha, thanks Mirage. I´m not entirely sure why you think so after my previous post (or if you really meant it or if it was some sort of sarcastic comment like you sometimes make), but your comment made my day. Seriously! My day was horrific and you made it better! So thanks for your words! I appreciate it very much!

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@Mstr Josh

 

I guess, you´re right. I think she quoted what I said in my very first post (when I quoted the non-waiter-world):

 

 

@lithiamorgan

You probably misunderstood her. It always helps to read a whole thread ;-)

But Welcome to the Forums! Cool, that you know that WTM is what you want for your life!

And in regard to the "way of talking", you mentioned:

Since she quoted me (indirectly, because I actually quoted somebody else), it was my way of choosing the words (but I didn´t even try to sound elaborate in this case anyway. It was just meant to be a casual sentence). 

Keep in mind that not everybody on this site grew up with English as their native language.

I don´t know if English is your native language or not. It´s not mine, at any rate, so I apologize when I sometimes sound not elaborate enough. But I´m trying really hard. And sometimes.....it´s just easier in a foreign language to not sound elaborate....maybe you know it from own experience with foreign languages.

well... i have done some editing... im new to this forum but it should be a practice to "QUOTE" someone's reply (whenever possible) as a guidance towards the whole conversation but if its already a practice ill make sure to make some adjustments.

 

its not my intention to BUMP into any conversations but to reply directly and solely to the topic until i spotted some thread reply and misread it, its probably my direct response the Quote she quoted.

 

and about the "way of talking" its the LOGICAL DECISIONING that i pointed out directly to her "QUOTE" and not the GRAMMATICAL COMPOSITION  :mellow: 

Im really Sorry for the misunderstanding @Lady_24, hope to cope up with you

PS. not an English native, Pure Blooded Filipino and im Proud

 

 

~JM

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well... i have done some editing... im new to this forum but it should be a practice to "QUOTE" someone's reply (whenever possible) as a guidance towards the whole conversation but if its already a practice ill make sure to make some adjustments.

 

its not my intention to BUMP into any conversations but to reply directly and solely to the topic until i spotted some thread reply and misread it, its probably my direct response the Quote she quoted.

 

and about the "way of talking" its the LOGICAL DECISIONING that i pointed out directly to her "QUOTE" and not the GRAMMATICAL COMPOSITION  :mellow: 

Im really Sorry for the misunderstanding @Lady_24, hope to cope up with you

PS. not an English native, Pure Blooded Filipino and im Proud

 

 

~JM

 

Of course, you weren´t trying to bump into any conversation. It was just a case of bad communication. That´s all.

 

You said "judging by the way you talk". That can mean everything and people can interpret it in different ways. It wasn´t clear to me that this sentence was connected directly with the previous sentence (where you said, that a person´s decision making should be logical).

I guess, I interpreted it differently than you meant it. I´m sorry. Happens with written communication.

But I never said anything about "grammatical composition" in my post anyway, so you apparently misinterpreted some things I said, as well.

 

However, I really don´t want to start a huge discussion about this now. So I hope we are cool with eachother now and can agree that it was just an unfortunate miscommunication.

 

And cool that your native language is also another one than English. The more global this community gets, the merrier. Just my opinion. Although I´m happy about every member of course :-) No matter the language. Just to make it clear, before it gets misinterpreted again by someone.

 

Have a good day!

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Of course, you weren´t trying to bump into any conversation. It was just a case of bad communication. That´s all.

 

You said "judging by the way you talk". That can mean everything and people can interpret it in different ways. It wasn´t clear to me that this sentence was connected directly with the previous sentence (where you said, that a person´s decision making should be logical).

I guess, I interpreted it differently than you meant it. I´m sorry. Happens with written communication.

But I never said anything about "grammatical composition" in my post anyway, so you apparently misinterpreted some things I said, as well.

 

However, I really don´t want to start a huge discussion about this now. So I hope we are cool with eachother now and can agree that it was just an unfortunate miscommunication.

 

And cool that your native language is also another one than English. The more global this community gets, the merrier. Just my opinion. Although I´m happy about every member of course :-) No matter the language. Just to make it clear, before it gets misinterpreted again by someone.

 

Have a good day!

i got some points for you mate....

1. is it "QUOTED" to youre post? OF COURSE NOT....

2. I obviously "QUOTED" her post instead DIDN'T I?

3. its not "ONLY ME" who interpreted those "QUOTE" are her's

Waiting is the right thing to do. It isn't impossible, I've waited 40 years. It hasn't always been easy, but I haven't found the right one yet.

 

She was being sarcastic.. Not serious.

Notice how its also in quotes.

 

4. i did say "judging by the way you talk" you need to read this as a reply to what i firstly "ASSUMED" her very "OWN" words... and reread it again.... and again....

and about the "way of talking" its the LOGICAL DECISIONING that i pointed out directly to her "QUOTE" and not the GRAMMATICAL COMPOSITION  :mellow:

if  "YOU" still dont get it.... you really... REALLY have something serious within you. now what is your issue?

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