Kendra

Asking YOU out.

63 posts in this topic

Thanks, Vince, but I don't mind :)

 

Matt and I get along just fine. We're simply having a discussion. Plus, I did say if it's just him to have that preference then that is perfectly fine, but that doesn't mean I'm not going to inquire about some of his reasoning. If he doesn't want to talk about it, then that's okay, too, but he hasn't told me that he doesn't want to talk about it.

 

Fair enough.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

"That really isn't a response to the statement I posed." Yeah it is. Actions matter. "Just because the guy did not in one circumstance does not mean he never does. He might do it all the time." Sure, but he still dropped the ball this time.

I disagree that the guy dropped the ball. I see no reason to think the man has to ask the woman out and if he doesn't then it will define the entire relationship. In a universal sense, it doesn't have to define the relationship. It doesn't have to have any bearing on his leadership or taking charge abilities. If you feel it would for you, personally, but aren't asserting that it would for every man and woman and every relationship, then of course I can respect that.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

"I see no reason to think the man has to ask the woman out and if he doesn't then it will define the entire relationship." I never said that it would define the entire relationship.

 

"It doesn't have to have any bearing on his leadership or taking charge abilities." Assuming you mean it doesn't reflect a lacking in those abilities, I believe it does (even if just in that one area)

 

" If you feel it would for you, personally, but aren't asserting that it would for every man and woman and every relationship, then of course I can respect that." I believe it is the best way for the vast majority.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

 

 

"It doesn't have to have any bearing on his leadership or taking charge abilities." Assuming you mean it doesn't reflect a lacking in those abilities, I believe it does (even if just in that one area)

 

" If you feel it would for you, personally, but aren't asserting that it would for every man and woman and every relationship, then of course I can respect that." I believe it is the best way for the vast majority.

 

Agree to disagree, I suppose. I guess maybe it's just different life experiences that cause people to have different views on the matter.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Interesting replies

For myself, ...

On one hand I'm highly attracted to confidence.

And a confident woman who could voice her opinion, and work up the 'nerve' to approach me and ask me out.

I'd certainly be flattered!

On the other hand, I'm a traditional 'old-fashioned' kinda guy, in that regard I'd prefer to do the actual initiating.

So that being said, I'd probably rather she'd of course let me know she's interested, smile, flirt a bit, make silly excuses to spend with time with me.

You know talk with me, do many of those cute little girly things most of us fellas go ape over.

The little giggle, eye contact, the little extra words of conversation ...

I wouldn't consider it to be unlady-like per se, no way and if that's the way I meet Mrs RookiePilot then I'm fine with that.

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I've changed my mind about this. If I'm interested in a girl, I'm going to ask her out (or if I don't know her at all, talk to her, get to know her, and ask her out if I'm still interested).

 

Girls: If you're working on becoming a girl that's a prize to marry, you deserve a guy that will take charge and pursue you.

 

Guys: You need to take charge and pursue that girl that you can't get off your mind. Don't give her the chance to ask you out first; or worse, don't wait until she's gone or unavailable. I know it's easier said than done, especially for us introverts. I'm right there with you (and talking to myself here). Just go for it.

 

Love this! After all, old fashioned romance is sweeter and more beautiful than whatever is going on now, IMO.

4 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Traditionalist here. If I have to ask him out its an indicator I may have to take the lead in the relationship. Thats not the part I want. Mind you there will be times when I may take the lead

*wink wink*

But in general I prefer the gentleman take the lead.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I would ask a girl out but I am too shy and worried that the girl will say " why are you trying to ask me out" just walk away. That is why dating is not in my nature and I wait for god to show me the way and the girl will eventually approach me

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I would ask a girl out but I am too shy and worried that the girl will say " why are you trying to ask me out" just walk away. That is why dating is not in my nature and I wait for god to show me the way and the girl will eventually approach me

 

And then you realize the woman probably doesn't know you. And may even feel flattered at your attentions even if she doesn't necessarily want to go out with you. Seriously, you have just named the worst case scenario. The best case being that she's your future wife and god wants you to be a man and ask her out so that you can fulfill his plan for you.

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

yes that may be the case but I am mainly worried that they will be scared by an Asian guy who approaches them. They think I look old or not into the idea of interracial dating and walk away. I know that girls will be never be interested in a guy who doesn't party, go to bars, clubs or smoke.

And then you realize the woman probably doesn't know you. And may even feel flattered at your attentions even if she doesn't necessarily want to go out with you. Seriously, you have just named the worst case scenario. The best case being that she's your future wife and god wants you to be a man and ask her out so that you can fulfill his plan for you.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I wouldn't be fine with it. It ruins my manhood.

 

It is tough to notice the signals girls give though.

 

One walked very slowly across me and in front of me by a small margin, other stood in my area in a train station and then went to the other-side lol. I still dont know if they are interested or not. Ahh, should attract them I think.

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I wouldn't be fine with it. It ruins my manhood.

 

It is tough to notice the signals girls give though.

 

One walked very slowly across me and in front of me by a small margin, other stood in my area in a train station and then went to the other-side lol. I still dont know if they are interested or not. Ahh, should attract them I think.

Why would it ruin your "manhood"?

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Why would it ruin your "manhood"?

I'd like to take initiative myself. If I get asked out, it puts me on the back foot. I want to lead the relationship.

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now