Kendra

Asking YOU out.

63 posts in this topic

So guys, something i've been curious about for a while now is, would you mind if a girl asked you out??

Will you think it means she's confident, really likes you, is willing to act on something she feels strongly?? Or do you think that's too aggressive, un lady-like, or too pushy??

I know some think it's cool and takes the pressure off guys for once. While some think it's just not right or traditional.

I think it's cool if the girl feels like it's time for her to, and the guy hasn't just yet. Honostly, i'm cool with both ways, and think it can work out through both ways.

 

So tell me your guys' opinions and input!! :D

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I know i'm the old guy...   but i always liked it when a girl asked me out :-)

 

yes, it was sometimes a bit of a surprise...  but no shortage of ego boost!  :-)

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Good question Kendra :)! So, if she did ask a guy out, she should plan everything, pick him up, pay? This just brings up so many questions :). How would the world be if women were the pursuers instead?

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I think this has been asked already too. I'll see if I can find the previous thread and merge it.

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So guys, something i've been curious about for a while now is, would you mind if a girl asked you out??

Will you think it means she's confident, really likes you, is willing to act on something she feels strongly?? Or do you think that's too aggressive, un lady-like, or too pushy??

I know some think it's cool and takes the pressure off guys for once. While some think it's just not right or traditional.

I think it's cool if the girl feels like it's time for her to, and the guy hasn't just yet. Honostly, i'm cool with both ways, and think it can work out through both ways.

 

So tell me your guys' opinions and input!! :D

 

 

Absolutely not! I think it's fine if a woman asks me out.

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It would be fine if a woman asked me out. I noticed Kailey mentioned it would bring up the question of who would pay and as much as I think we should live in a more equal society where men aren't expected to pay I think I would probably still offer out of the fear she would think I'm cheap.

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I'd love it if a girl asked me out (well, if I were interested in her too..I'd not enjoy rejecting her). I think the relationship would proceed from there exactly the same as if I had asked her out. It would definitely take a little bit of the pressure off, though I might feel the need to step up my game a bit to make up for not stepping up in the first place. lol

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I would be thrilled if a girl asked me out because I am painfully shy around girls. I would have absolutely no problem if a girl asked me out. And I agree with Matthew to answer Kailey's question, I would still treat her the same way as if I had asked her out

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It would be fine if a woman asked me out. I noticed Kailey mentioned it would bring up the question of who would pay and as much as I think we should live in a more equal society where men aren't expected to pay I think I would probably still offer out of the fear she would think I'm cheap.

I would be thrilled if a girl asked me out because I am painfully shy around girls. I would have absolutely no problem if a girl asked me out. And I agree with Matthew to answer Kailey's question, I would still treat her the same way as if I had asked her out

 

I would be willing to let him know that I like him, that way he knows I will say yes if he is wanting to ask me out. It's kind of the same thing, in asking someone out you are also saying "I like you." :) So, you would act as if you had done the asking, very cute!

 

If a guy doesn't pay on the first date I wouldn't only think he was cheap I would think he must not really care about me at all/want to pursue anything further. I would also worry he would think I was questioning his ability as a man to be able to pay/provide if I offered to split the check. Later on I would ask him if he wants me to help pay for stuff and would definitely want to.   

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I don't have a problem with girls asking guys out. Though I prefer to do things the traditional way. I just think it feels more natural and romantic.

Also, I believe whoever is the initiator should pay for the date. Not that I wouldn't offer to pay if a girl asked me out, but I don't think she should expect a guy to pay if she asked him out. That is just rude to me. To me, that's like inviting someone over to your house for dinner and expecting your guest to pay for the food and cook for you.

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Thanks everyone for your input!!

Like Mathew said, I think that it would proceed normal after the first date. I'm not saying that if the girl asks the guy out for the first date, that she would have to be the leader every time for everything after that.

 

But thanks everyone again!! I was hoping that most of you gentlemen wouldn't mind :)

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And of course whoever does the asking out should be expected to pay for both parties :)

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I think DD was really ok with me being forward about some things because I wasn't playing games...he definitely knew I was interested ;-

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@Kailey-It can be hard to tell over a message board, but there was some sarcasm in that response, right?

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@Kailey-It can be hard to tell over a message board, but there was some sarcasm in that response, right?

 

Which part?

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Again, people need to be liberal as the world changes to become more liberal. If a girl ask you out and you like her, WHO CARES!? GO OUT WITH HER! Yes it is natural for a guy to ask a girl out, but who cares if it happens the other way around?

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Again, people need to be liberal as the world changes to become more liberal. If a girl ask you out and you like her, WHO CARES!? GO OUT WITH HER! Yes it is natural for a guy to ask a girl out, but who cares if it happens the other way around?

We are required to do nothing of the sort. Everyone is entitled to their own ways of thinking and that shouldn't change just because the popular trend is being liberal. I would also like to point out that casual sex and the replacement of marriage with cohabitation are part of liberal trend. Those things aren't exactly popular around here.

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We are required to do nothing of the sort. Everyone is entitled to their own ways of thinking and that shouldn't change just because the popular trend is being liberal. I would also like to point out that casual sex and the replacement of marriage with cohabitation are part of liberal trend. Those things aren't exactly popular around here.

It is not necessary to change. Survival is not mandatory.

- W. Edwards Deming

This site is so conservative it's practically liberal. And yet it's not.

On topic, A essentially asked me out. While we both flirted with each other, she was the first to tell me she liked me. However she was strong in her opinion that when we officially started dating I had to be the one to ask her out. You can be conservative and still be with the times, just takes a little adapting to.

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Interestingly, if you do a little bit of research into this topic, you'll find that women are usually the ones who initiate any sort of relationship through subtle signs that the man has to pay attention to. These signs invite him to ask. Also, there is a reason that men are the ones who have been the ones to ask/pursue, because it is a Masculine thing to do! Do men sit around and talk with each other about their feelings...not that I know of, because that is a Feminine thing to do! Male and female brains are wired differently, we are different. If a woman is brave enough to ask, that is fine, even though it's not something I would do. As long as she acts feminine after the that, it should be fine, but I would be willing to bet most men don't want a woman who is acting Masculine as a girlfriend/wife. Just like I don't want a man who is acting like a woman :)! Pretty basic really!

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i think it would be fine for a girl to ask me out but i feel that a girl should never have to pay. just because a girl makes the first move i dont think that entitles her to pay, i think if she builds up enough courage to ask a guy out than that should give the guy even more of a reason to pay. i respect any girl who would make this decision and thank you kendra for bringing this issue up, its a great question.

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It's kind of easier for me, because I'm pretty shy around women.  I need to be sent strong signals before I can muster up the gumption to ask a gal out. 

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In an ideal world, the guy would always ask the girl out, but the girl would make it plainly obvious to the guy that she is interested before he takes the leap.  So........yeah, I'm more of a traditional guy.  But at the same time, asking a girl out scares me to death, and in reality I might wait too long and miss my chance.  I guess that's fueled by fear of being rejected.  I don't know.  There's nothing more frightening to a guy, than the girl he likes.  I don't have a problem with girls asking guys out, but for me, it seems like that's my job (even if I'm too scared to do it :P).  I guess, in my opinion, if a girl wants to ask a guy out, she should not come forward and suggest a date, but rather just start......I don't know.......acting obviously interested around him?????  Guys are kind of dumb when it comes to detecting female interest in them, so it would have to be OBVIOUS.  But, maybe I'm wrong.  We don't live in an ideal world, so if the girl likes the guy and is scared of losing him, she can ask him out.  But then again, some hinting by the girl's best friend to ask the girl out might get the message across.....

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There's nothing more frightening to a guy, than the girl he likes.

 

Ah, there is also nothing more frightening to a girl than the guy she likes. We can talk to any guy we don't like without a problem, but the one we like, that will twist us up in knots. At least in my experiene ;)!

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