loyalhero90

Hello Ma'am...OH wait

19 posts in this topic

Hello,

so I was in the grocery store and one of the cashiers had full braids, dark red lipstick, full foundation coverage, eyeshadow, fake eyelashes and earrings. I said "Hello Ma'am", the cashier looked at me very rudely and gave me a rueful smile. My mother quickly corrected me and said "Oh no sir...Hello sir". I immediately looked at the cashiers name tag and realized that the name was indeed male. I quickly apologized embarrassed at my...confusion and hoping that I did not offend the...guy too much. When we left the grocery story my mother told me not to worry about it she was confused at first too.

My question to you guys is: how do you feel about men who actually do not label themselves as drag queens or cross-dressers but seem to do follow the trend. I am seeing more guys trying to push the clothing/cosmetic boundaries though the claim that they should be allowed to wear the same clothes/make-up as women. So it becomes more of an anti-sexist thing than an actual drag queen/cross dresser type thing especially since women who dress more masculine or not perceived as being drag queens or cross-dressers. Things like skinny jeans, make-up and other female qualities are seeming to hit the fashion scene more. I think the cashier might have been experimenting with such a claim especially since he was offended by me calling him Ma'am even though he looked kind of like a girl

Do you guys think it is unfair that women can technically dress more masculine without any problems but for men it is taboo? If men dress more feminine do you think they have a right to be angry if a someone actually mistakes them for a woman?

Personally I want my guy without an ounce of fashion feminine quality in that he should never want to wear make-up, skirts, dresses, neon bright colors or care about his eye brow shape etc.

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If a guy really wants to dress that way then it is up to him, but it just doesn't seem aesthetic to do so. Men and women's bodies are different and women's clothes fit to a woman's body, not a man's. I guess when it comes to lipstick I can accept that it is just a product of our society to say it is appropriate for women and not men, but honestly I don't really like colored lipstick on women, either, so maybe I'm not the best person to comment on this.

Funny enough I used to have fairly long hair for a guy and I can distinctly remember three times someone mistook me for a woman. It was strange, considering I was dressed in all men' clothes and my haristyle was not a woman's haristyle, it was just longer hair. The one time I guess it was kind of understandable because I was sitting down and the person likely just saw the back of my head and the guy apologized right away afterwards. So, I was not really mad. The other time the person was looking right at me and called me a woman and I suspected he may have done it on purpose to make fun of me for having longer hair and it did really annoy me. I guess it maight have been a mistake, but the guy must have thought I was an incredibly manly looking woman and his mindset must have been that he can't fathom a man with long hair, which to me would be a strange mindset to have in the 21st century. The third time it was a really, really old person and I assume his mind was not all there, so I just thought it was funny.

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Blechhh. I'm pretty liberal in general, but in this one area I'm just a knee-jerk reactionary. Spare my eyes please!

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There is a very, very good reason why men shouldn't wear dresses or skirts. I'm sorry, but their bodies are just NOT designed for those. They don't have the legs, arms, curves...basically whole body, for feminine attire. But I'm not so close-minded that I think it shouldn't be allowed, especially if a man is transsexual. Truly I don't get the whole drag thing. The majority of girls wear pants and shorts often, but we do NOT act like males. Even if we are more on the masculine side (avid player of sports, etc,) our femininity is still quite obvious (long hair, tight pants and shirts rather than baggy jeans and sweatshirts, personality is still feminine, etc.) Women dressing in pants does NOT equal women dressing like men. I've seen straight guys wear dresses or skirts just for a joke or to make their friends laugh, which is funny, but if I guy is dressing AND acting in female clothing, that's an entirely different situation.

It's not pleasant to look at, but I don't care what people do. They're not hurting me in any way, so I don't think it's wrong.

I know women face slut-shaming, but I really feel like we have a lot more freedom with our sexuality and bodies than men do because it is easy for us to have sex, we can experiment with each other without even being labeled bisexual, we can dress however we want to without being bullied, and no one will think of us as "pigs" if we make perverted comments. It's strange, but I think women almost have more freedom than men now (but obviously not in all countries.)

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I don't think it's something that guys should do; but then again this isn't something that I can enforce on anybody; it's their decision, whether I like it or not.

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I wouldn't mind a bit of guyliner since I adore the rocks star/ heavy metal look. I was also really into emo/scene boys when I was younger, so I'm a bit more open to guys wearing skinny jeans and eye liner. Some guys can really pull it off. I don't mind tight shirts either if they look good. Full on foundation and lipstick though? I think not, I mean I am very open minded and think people should do what makes them happy, but I wouldn't agree with this. If it ever did become a trend I would just smile and think "At least they're more free to be themselves now", but I wouldn't date them. The way I was brought up, (This is going to sound extremely sexist, but I don't intend for it to be) Lip stick (make up) and dresses are for girls and guys are meant to be masculine. I love the trends we've had in the past few years and like I said earlier don't mind emo or rock star/heavy metal looks, but there is a fine line between guyliner and a guy looking like a woman in my opinion.

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Also, don't feel too bad about what happened there, surely there were many others confused whether to call him Ma'am or Sir.

(I say this from personal experience also, seeing as how more and more guys do that now a days. There was a guy I knew a few years back, we met threw mutual friends. Long story short I had only seen old pictures of him and he was all guy, but my other friends really knew him. They told me he had become a cross dresser. One thing they failed to tell me though was that he now identified as a woman. When I spoke to him for the first time while my friends and I were hanging out I referred to him as "he". Boy, the hell he put me through the next 10-15 minutes. Not only was I embarrassed but I didn't know whether I should feel bad for him (or her I guess) or be offended that he was so mean even though I had no idea. )

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(I say this from personal experience also, seeing as how more and more guys do that now a days. There was a guy I knew a few years back, we met threw mutual friends. Long story short I had only seen old pictures of him and he was all guy, but my other friends really knew him. They told me he had become a cross dresser. One thing they failed to tell me though was that he now identified as a woman. When I spoke to him for the first time while my friends and I were hanging out I referred to him as "he". Boy, the hell he put me through the next 10-15 minutes. Not only was I embarrassed but I didn't know whether I should feel bad for him (or her I guess) or be offended that he was so mean even though I had no idea. )

Well I strongly feel that people shouldn't identify as the opposite sex unless they have had sex-reassignment surgery. I remember reading about one place where they would let a man into the women's locker room simply because he considered himself female. Seriously...

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Well I strongly feel that people shouldn't identify as the opposite sex unless they have had sex-reassignment surgery. I remember reading about one place where they would let a man into the women's locker room simply because he considered himself female. Seriously...

I agree completely. Although, I'm very careful with what I say and wouldn't want to offend anyone. So, I guess if that makes them happy then good for them. But I do agree with you.

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Ahh. Here's the article: http://abcnews.go.co...-raises-uproar/

I think if there are children there and underage girls, he/she should not be allowed there. I'm sorry, not trying to discriminate, but I can imagine how scarring it can be for younger girls to see a man expose himself. They can identify as women, but when it comes to the rest of us, we deserve respect too. There are boundaries, especially when it comes to children.

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Take Notice: I am not attacking anyone here, or trying to cause an issue, but this is merely my opinion:

I agree that men and women should limit their exposure of being fearless regarding clothing, make-up, or a direct attempt to push a boundary However, this is the 21st Century, and society as a whole is attempting to be more liberal. Example include legalizing marijuana and same-sex marriage in some states/ parts of the world. People have to realize that they will have to come out of their bubble sometimes. I am not saying your children or you need to be exposed to awkward imagery or perverts, but you need to realize these people are out there. Having an open attitude not to the fact that they should be allowed out, but rather that they exist and it's not going to kill you. I see and hear too often that many people throw tantrums over something that shatters their calm because it isn't normal.

Just chill, you are not going to die or go blind from seeing a drag queen or a transgendered person. Recall (if you were unfortunate) to see your parents expressing themselves. Yeah it was awkward but you got over it.

Acceptance and openness is why it has taken over 2000 years for civilization to progress.

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Take Notice: I am not attacking anyone here, or trying to cause an issue, but this is merely my opinion:

I agree that men and women should limit their exposure of being fearless regarding clothing, make-up, or a direct attempt to push a boundary However, this is the 21st Century, and society as a whole is attempting to be more liberal. Example include legalizing marijuana and same-sex marriage in some states/ parts of the world. People have to realize that they will have to come out of their bubble sometimes. I am not saying your children or you need to be exposed to awkward imagery or perverts, but you need to realize these people are out there. Having an open attitude not to the fact that they should be allowed out, but rather that they exist and it's not going to kill you. I see and hear too often that many people throw tantrums over something that shatters their calm because it isn't normal.

Just chill, you are not going to die or go blind from seeing a drag queen or a transgendered person. Recall (if you were unfortunate) to see your parents expressing themselves. Yeah it was awkward but you got over it.

Acceptance and openness is why it has taken over 2000 years for civilization to progress.

I know this is the 21st century etc., but I do have an open mind. Just because I don't want children and others seeing a transgender person exposing themselves doesn't mean I'm attacking them or calling them abnormal. I would have reacted the same way if the person exposing themselves was of any other gender. Yes, they exist, no i don't hate them or have anything against them, we're all human, etc., but there need to be rules and boundaries just like there are rules for everything/everyone else. Think about it, if you were a child and saw someone like that in that situation and said you were scarred wouldn't your parents have a right to be furious? Seriously, just because there's freedom doesn't mean EVERYTHING is okay. There must be rules, otherwise it's anarchy.

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Ahh. Here's the article: http://abcnews.go.co...-raises-uproar/

Wow that was a little disturbing. And while I am not transgender myself I do believe that for the sake of bathrooms they should have some type of labeling criteria. This is such a sticky situation because people want to respect each others boundaries and in this situation it seems as if one person's boundaries is being placed higher than others. Putting up bathroom stalls would be a better option than just telling people to just "get over it".

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Take Notice: I am not attacking anyone here, or trying to cause an issue, but this is merely my opinion:

I agree that men and women should limit their exposure of being fearless regarding clothing, make-up, or a direct attempt to push a boundary However, this is the 21st Century, and society as a whole is attempting to be more liberal. Example include legalizing marijuana and same-sex marriage in some states/ parts of the world. People have to realize that they will have to come out of their bubble sometimes. I am not saying your children or you need to be exposed to awkward imagery or perverts, but you need to realize these people are out there. Having an open attitude not to the fact that they should be allowed out, but rather that they exist and it's not going to kill you. I see and hear too often that many people throw tantrums over something that shatters their calm because it isn't normal.

Just chill, you are not going to die or go blind from seeing a drag queen or a transgendered person. Recall (if you were unfortunate) to see your parents expressing themselves. Yeah it was awkward but you got over it.

Acceptance and openness is why it has taken over 2000 years for civilization to progress.

I have to agree with April on this. I have no problem that a person is transgender, bisexual, homosexual...whatever but I still don't want to see your junk. I should not have to see your junk and if it is a girl's bathroom then at least have all female bodies. A person who is transgendered (though should still be respected) and has not had the total operation to fully be a certain gender should be a little more cautious with their private parts especially since it was male private parts in a girl's bathroom. If we cannot at least respect a person's boundaries in the bathroom then where is the line drawn. The first thing that a parent would jump to if there little girl was in a bathroom around a guy/girl who decided to let it all hang out would be molestation and I don't think that is an over reaction. No person should be exempt from such boundary rules.Also when I looked at the comments in the section of article some of the women have been raped/molested and if they did see such male parts would feel very much disturbed. So there is another problem where the transgendered boundaries would be placed above someone else in the act of "fairness".Just because it cannot jump at someone does not mean it cannot cause psychological problems for women/girls who are supposed to feel safe in a vulnerable area. The same argument can be made that it should not hurt the transgender person to go to a bathroom that has stalls.

I also don't think the U.S changing to have co-ed bathrooms and have people walking around naked in front of children is a modern mind set.Neither do I think me letting go of my own comfort and boundaries in the supposed privacy of a bathroom means that I am not open-minded.

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personally im not sexist, i believe men and women are completely equal, not one above the other, but i do believe we have different roles and guidelines in life. diffident positions. despite this if a man wants to dress like a woman thats his choice, im not going to be against it

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I think men should embrace their masculinity, I don't get men who try and dress in a feminine way I mean how do guys even fit "everything" in skinny jeans... ouch.

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In general, mutual respect is always the best policy. I respect the rights of others to dress any which way they want, and I expect for others to respect my right to be confused by their choice in dress.

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