Tev

Women wearing revealing clothes

12 posts in this topic

Now I have to admit its because of this repeating incident that I no longer consider myself a gentleman. But today I was outside on the front porch of my aunt`s house just reading my book and a young lady pulls up in a Altima. She gets out the car and she has on this SHORT black little dress on and needless to say she is a curvy woman. And in my mind I`m like "Are you serious? You gotta be kiddin me? Why did you have to wear that? Outta all the clothes that are in your closet you had to wear that?" And so it was hard for me not to look. But the thing is this has been goin on for awhile now where a young lady is wearing something tight like those freakin spandex pants that every girl my age is wearing nowadays or something like a short dress or skirt and the reason I do not consider myself a gentleman no more is because a gentleman doesn`t look at a woman with disrespect or with lust or with that wandering eye. I tell myself everytime that a young lady wears those type of clothes because she is trying to get my attention so when i do see a girl who wears something like I mentioned earlier I look away...... Unsuccessfully.....

I apologize to the ladies of this great site for talkin about this, I hope you don`t think any less of me now please forgive me. And to the fellas I need your help in any way possible. I wanna know how I can fight this and keep my wandering eye in check. So reply or PM or even pray for me please

Love you guys

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I certainly don't think less of you for this, Tev! Not even a little bit!

Had you whistled, said, "Hey baby!" or "Nice butt!" or something along those lines, I would think that you weren't acting like a gentleman, but to me, it sounds like you very much acted the part of the gentleman. To the best of your ability, you chose to treat the woman with respect, regardless of how you felt or how tempted you were. That makes you a gentleman in my book!

I will pray for you, Tev! But I think you are a great guy, and I want you to know that!

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See. this is why I say women have a responsibility for the guys' purity, too!! We don't need to make it more difficult on y'all than it already is. Men are visual, point blank period. Even when we are covered up, I'm sure they're thinking about what's underneath. So when we're putting it all out there, it's difficult for them to not "go there."

I like fashion just as much as the next girl, but we've got to cover it up, or loosen our super tight clothing a bit, ladies. Being pure in mind is just as important as being pure in body... And it's quite difficult to do so when you can see every curve or several inches of skin. Heck, I know what I'm thinking when I see a guy with nice chiseled arms, abs showing, calf muscles all toned up, and it's not exactly the purest thought you can imagine. Haha.

It's actually very honorable of you to come here and apologize/share your struggle. I commend you for that, Tev! You're a good guy! Yes, it's your responsibilty to look away, but I'm saying us ladies have a part in it, too. I'm a female and sometimes even I stop and stare (not with lust, more like disbelief) at some women who are dressed so... Revealing. It's difficult not to stare. But I don't put a sexual thought to it. In that way, I feel kind of sorry for guys sometimes. Girls are more emotional, that's why we will get all wrapped up in the words a guy will use. Those sweet nothings. Maybe girls baring mostly all of their skin, or showcasing every curve is a "sweet nothing" for you guys, too. Yeah, these things may look/sound sweet... But they lead to much of nothing!

I'm sorry that you're having a difficult time with this, but I greatly respect you for being bold and admitting it. You can't fix a problem until you first admit it's a problem, anyways. Do understand that it's natural to see something you like, and think about it. But you can also find ways to keep your mind from wandering so much. I don't know how to make you stop it, as it's natural instinct. I guess you just want to be able to see it and not think lustful thoughts. I'm not entirely sure how to go about that. A guy will have to try and help you on that. But I can pray, and I will pray, Tev.

I respect you so much. Thank you, and don't beat yourself up over it... It happens, it's natural, and it's commendable that you want to change. I respect that so much, especially in a guy as young as you are. Not that you're a baby, or anything like that... It's just respectable that you want to change. I'll be praying for you, my friend. We love you too, Tev! Thank you!

Haha I just realized this was posted in "ask the guys," but I couldn't resist replying. Hope you don't mind that! You're in my prayers, for sure!

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Dude Tev, if being a gentleman entails that you never lust after a woman, then no man in the world would qualify except Jesus :) We're visual creatures, like RJ said and that's how we were created. That's not an excuse for us to oogle every girl we please, it's simply the truth. We as guys are designed to desire a woman's body. Doesn't matter if she's wearing a spaghetti strap or a turtle neck, lust will crawl into our minds and bodies anyways. But girls dressing modestly definitely helps. Trust me man, I know how difficult it is especially with the way so many girls dress these days. I remember I was sitting at church and a girl sat right in front of me and all she was wearing was a halter (sp?) top! Her entire back was exposed right in front of my face! I was like, "Really? You're going to dress like that in church of all places?"

Having lusted after girls does not determine whether you're a good guy or not, it's how you deal with it and how you treat women. It's clear you have women's best interest and you respect them so that definitely makes you a gentleman. Unfortunately, unless you go around forcing every girl around you to wear hijabs or seclude yourself away from society, it's impossible for you to avoid it completely. All you can do is just give your best effort in keeping your mind pure and your eyes from wandering. Sometimes you may need to remove yourself from the area.

That said, I also want to apologize to all the ladies for each time I have lusted after one of your kind, which I admit happens very often. I am ashamed of myself at times when I don't make as much of an effort to look away as I should. Even though I am saving my virginity for my future wife, I wish I could have saved my eyes and desires completely for her as well. But every time I a girl, I feel like I'm shortchanging my future wife by throwing a piece of myself that should be hers and hers alone.

I want to thank all the girls who care about us guys by making an effort to dress modestly and I want your to know those efforts are greatly appreciated. Thank you for believing in us and encouraging us in our fight for purity. I understand that all of you have your own struggles with insecurities about body image and society likes to tell you that you're not pretty or good enough. I'm here to tell you all that is lies. Every one of you is beautiful inside and out just the way God created you. Every one of you is more precious than diamonds and worth fighting for.

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Tev, don't feel bad about looking. Everyone looks, and it doesn't necessarily mean you want to have a sexual relationship or are even fantasizing about that person.

I liken it to everyone looks at a car accident, or everyone looks when there's a loud noise. It's hard to ignore something that's designed to seek your attention.

Of course, that doesn't mean you TRY and look, but don't feel like you're in the wrong for just seeing what was being shown! Just keep your defences up and guard yourself :)

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Pm'd you buddy. Just quickly, if God didn't forgive us when we're sincerely sorry for "Looking", then well, I think every single one of us would be unforgiven and on our way to the opposite of heaven.

(At one point at least, anyway. I'd hate to admit, but by that standard, i'm not perfect either)

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I just wanted to say thank you all for the love,suppor,and understanding. Yes it will be tough to get through but with help from Him and my WTM family, I know I will be perfectly fine. Thank you all I love u guys! :wub:

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I get really annoyed with ladies who dress to flaunt. To some extent, I can tune them out, but to some extent it's like two magnets for our eyeballs. It's manipulation.

I saw a girl walking down the beach the other day. String bikini. Basically, her butt, bare and bald and in plain view. I have a former classmate built like a barbie (my guess is lots of surgery) who often comes up to say hi to me. I can count the veins on her bulging cleavage.

Ladies, most of us guys can't say something to them without being inappropriate, rude or mean. Would you please police your own and tell them that they'll never land a nice guy if they dress to impress the playahs? If you do, I promise I'll keep the jerks in line as best I can. Thank you.

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It depends on the level of "reveal." If you can see some skin then it's more tame than if you could see other stuff hanging out. The issues is the TV and the Movies of today program young women that to be sought after is to be naked. It's not true.

From my own life, my last girlfriend dressed very modestly and I loved her for it. Funny story, she had a hoody that I just loved (don't know why, just made her look hot) and you would think adding a whole other layer of clothing would be the wrong move. I loved her having more clothes on haha. Ask yourself this. When you are walking with your lady, and she is half naked, all the men are looking and wondering, all the ladies are looking and judging.

Be the change.

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Ladies, most of us guys can't say something to them without being inappropriate, rude or mean. Would you please police your own and tell them that they'll never land a nice guy if they dress to impress the playahs? If you do, I promise I'll keep the jerks in line as best I can. Thank you.

Oh dear....I could just imagine what would happen if I said that to another girl. Let's just say I'd be lucky if I made it out alive!!

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I have to Admit I am a little guilty of this, when it comes to wearing shorts and tank tops because its really hot where I live... Overall its Specifically for Fashion but I honestly NEVER thought that it was that serious. Especially because Im skinny a little curvy, but I never show cleavage or anything.  

My last boyfriend would make fun of me saying I need to cover up because my long legs can be "tempting" but he was also like you Tev and said that he as a gentleman shouldnt allow himself to think thoughts like that.  I think it all come down to class Obviously if a woman is wearing booty shorts the probability of her being WTM is pretty slim and she is looking for some type of attention.

Not what you want, people will do whatever they want in this world thats life its here to test you but atleast you are standing up and realizing those things instead of taking advantage and saying "a man will be a man" as an excuse.  I dont think less of you I just think youre human it happens.

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To a certain extent I think lustful thoughts are inevitable, even when a woman is dressed modestly. I just try to remind myself that as attractive as a woman may be, she is a person and not simply an object of desire. I don't think there is anything wrong with recognizing how good looking a woman is, but I do think it is wrong to forget that she is also a human being. The extent to which a woman should dress modestly is a tough question to me. I think there is a fine line between showing off your aesthetic beauty and simply dressing like you're an object of sexual desire.

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