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WanderingWashingtonian

Respect

3 posts in this topic

I have heard that it is very important in marriage for the husband to feel that his wife respects him. Women want to be respected too, and we should be, but from what I've heard, the need for respect apparently tends to be much more acute for men.

I want my future husband to know I respect him, but I also know that it is possible to wound a man in this area unintentionally. So I was wondering, guys:

1) What are some things women do now, or things you can imagine your wife doing someday, that make you feel respected?

2) What are some things women do now, or things you can imagine your wife doing someday, that make you feel disrespected?

I know every man is different, and that what bothers one man may be fine with another. I am just curious to see if any common patterns show up in the answers. And hey, maybe someday this will help me be a better wife!

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I'm convinced that men are uncomplicated little critters, with very basic wants and emotional needs. Compliments are an overt way of showing respect, while subtle ways would be asking about and exploring his opinions, and doing little things to let him know that you value his company. Just spend time with your spouse--once a man truly loves a woman, the mere act of her choosing to invest time in him will be more than enough to make him feel like a little king (a king that sometimes needs to be gently reminded to get off his throne and take out the trash). If all else fails, let him win at Scrabble sometimes.

The best way to help a man feel respected is to simply refrain from doing things that make him feel disrespected. And the key to preventing a man from feeling disrespected is to save your criticisms of him for when you are in private. Don't badger him about minutia in front of friends or family (unless it's in a lighthearted way that's clearly in good fun), and never demean him in front of your children. Don't get me wrong, occasionally men deserve and even need to be badgered, but, again, save it for when you two are alone. Not only will you save his ego, but he'll be more apt to listen to the substance of what you're communicating.

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I'm convinced that men are uncomplicated little critters

See, and I was afraid that calling men critters might be disrespectful! :)

Great post, erasercrumbs. I love the tip about saving criticisms until we are alone. That is brilliant advice, and it makes a lot of sense! My future husband will thank you for that one!

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