CoralBlue

"Girl talk" with your friends

8 posts in this topic

So we all do it. Go around with your friends and talk about all the cute stuff your boyfriend/their boyfriends have done. And then highschool age and you both go into great detail about the first kiss and it's absolute fun! I am still at this stage...my friends are not.

I'll add that I'm only 17, but pretty much all my close girl friends have either been to third base (oral sex, hand jobs, etc.) or have had sex. So it makes "storytime" a little more uncomfortable for me.

Does anyone else have/have had this issue?

When me and my bestfriend were 14/15 we talked for hours about how our first kisses would be and slow dancing and our "perfect guys", but since then she has been in 2 serious relationships and has gone to at least 3rd with both of them...and here I am never had a bf or been kissed. How do I relate to that? What do you girls do? I usually just nod and listen and tell her when she is telling me too much. I'd love to hear your guys'...or girls' stories!

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Yes, I totally love girl talk with my bffs about how amazing my boyfriend is. In fact, I can't wait to show off my new Louis Vuitton purse and make all my girl friends jealous. :)

Seriously though, you think talking to your girl friends about 3rd base is bad. Try being a late twenties virgin guy having nothing to share in a group of guys. Most guys don't brag about their girlfriends, most guys brag about how many girls they slept with. It's a game we play to see who has the best sex story. Have you ever seen the movie 40 Year Old Virgin? There's a scene where "the virgin" is playing poker with the guys and sharing sex stories. When it came time for the virgin to share, he had nothing. Instead, he makes up a story that no one believes and the others catch on that he a virgin then tries to get him laid. Yeah that's basically my experience without the lying part. Guys are pigs. lol. There is nothing innocent or adorable about what guys talk about.

Honestly, it used to bother me a lot, but now I just don't care anymore. Whenever guys find out I'm a virgin and freak out, I just look at them as if they're insane for even making it a big deal out of a personal decision. I just stand proud in my choice and take satisfaction in watching them just puzzled trying to figure out the concept of WTM :)

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Friend #1: One of my best friends lost her virginity at age fifteen after dating him for a month (they were in love, as much as teens can be,) they dated 11 months, then she had a casual sex relationship with a close friend of hers for two months or so that turned into dating but there were no genuine feelings so it barely lasted 4 months, then she had a casual sex relationship with a guy for three months and ended up falling in love with him (and he with her (I hope)) so they officially dated nearly seven months and then she broke up with him because he was turning into a big jerk.

Friend #2: One of my other best friends had a casual second-base relationship with a thirty-eight year old man when she was 18. She knew him for like 6-7 months before that, and definitely had a major crush on him (she knows it wasn't love.) I started off as first base and ended up second base. It NEVER went further, as she is opposed to sex before age 20. This was her very first, and only, relationship (it is over now for SUCH complicated reasons.) He was her first kiss, her first first-base, and her first second-base.

The point is, these are my two best friends. I have never dated, or kissed. And I am incredibly close to them (not physically, seeing as I now live on the other side of the country,) but they are like sisters to me (especially the first friend I mentioned whom I have known since I was 10.) Friend #1 and I may be quite different than we were back when she hadn't turned 13 and slipped into the wild-side, but we have so many amazing memories together from our childhoods. It's effortless for us to be together because we just know each other so well. Our differences don't matter. Especially now that she's cleaned up her bad girl act. Friend #2 was my only real friend in high school. We became really close really fast in grade eleven, and even though we were both 16 when we became friends, somehow we just clicked. I hated her relationship with that older man. But she considers me the best friend she has ever had, and like me she doesn't believe in adolescent sex (13-19,) and having sex outside of love. We have a lot more in common than I do with Friend #1. So why let a rather gross relationship (because of the age difference) ruin things between us?

You asked: "How do I relate to that?" The truth is this: you can't. But if you have plenty of other things to relate about, then your friendships will be fine. :)

I bluntly told Friend #2 that I NEVER wanted her to speak to my about her relationship with the older man. EVER. She understood and respected that. Eventually, six or so months later, I finally calmed down enough to let her say a little bit about the relationship (by then it was over, so that's why I was okay with talking about it in a very non-detailed way.)

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I think Sophie is right, you cant relate to it, it's not who you are. I dont know, maybe you could ask your friends to skimp on the details of their private sex lives, whether you do that will depend on how comfortable you would feel saying that to them.

I was lucky/unlucky in this respect myself. My friends were not promiscuous at all in high school. Most of them (like me) had never kissed a guy. Things changed when we started going to university. They started drinking and doing stuff with their boyfriends (or guys who werent their boyfriends). On the other hand, I didnt drink and did not go around kissing random guys I didnt know. Eventually I lost my friends because of it. I probably wouldnt have only that the ring leader of the group disliked the way I was so different from her own behaviour. She started spreading rumours about me and I basically walked away from the group. It took me a couple of years to re-establish a group of friends and to be honest by that stage they were more mature and didnt discuss intimate details of their sex life too much. So I kind of missed out on that thank God!

But I do know how awkward it is sitting there listening to conversations about sex etc and not having anything to say and just wishing they would shut up already. If you are very uncomfortable my advice would be to excuse yourself and either go to the restroom or somthing for a while and hope the conversation has cooled down while you are gone or leave entirely if you can find an appropriate excuse. Otherwise like I said above, you could hint that you are uncomfortable discussing private details of their relationships. If you dont want to come across judgemental you could focus on the part that it is between them (ie your friends and their boyfriends) and you feel a bit weird being privy to their private lives.

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I was also lucky in that my group of friends in high school did not engage in sex. This was an all girls Catholic high school, and there were girls having sex in my class ... but, I was not part of that group. They were more popular, and I was sort of just "in between". So, this was never an issue in high school.

I went to college in NYC, to a very liberal University. Everyone was having sex. Seriously. I'm pretty sure I was the only one not (or so it seemed that way). Since I'm not religious, and wasn't really into promoting my way of life, all I would say is "I don't discuss my intimate life." Or "I don't kiss and tell." Eventually, people just stopped asking me and I just listened when people shared.

Nowadays, it's not an issue for me at all. I'm 29 and people don't really expect to know the details of my sex life (or to share theirs) at this point.

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The funny thing about girl talk (about boyfriends/sex) is how it evolves!!!

Boyfriend Convo#1: Omg guys my boyfriend is so amazingly sweet blah blah blah...

Boyfriend Convo #2: My boyfriend kissed me so passionately, and we made love blah blah blah...

Boyfriend Convo #3: Um, girls please don't tell anybody but I'm pregnant! 0_o

Hookup Convo #1: I had so much fun at the party this weekend me and blah blah hooked up...

Hook Convo #2: Um, girls please don't tell anybody but blah blah gave me a STD 0_o

The options are endless!! LOL as much as girl talk can make you feel inferior, left out, or tempting...just sit back ain't wait for the evolution and you'll be happy that you're WTM :)

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Grammar/Misspelling etc Disclaimer*

Wow just read over my post and you all should know I'm using my smart phone...who makes me look dumb at time with its stupid auto correct lol ....Darn you -_-

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I'm just gonna be honest. All of the "girl talk" I have is with my friends who are between 21 and 25 years old, and they talk about EVERYTHING. They all know that I'm a virgin, and they respect that, but the conversations can get a little crazy. They are single, in relationships, engaged, and married, and only 2 other people are virgins. When they start talking about men, sex, etc. I don't get uncomfortable at all. I actually find it quite funny. They always try to give me advice and all that. I guess I'm just not as uncomfortable about the whole thing as a lot of people are.

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