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There seems to exist an inconsistency between theory and practice of relationship modes of thought. At times we all: the media, my friends, me, recite the politically correct view on certain relationship expectations, but when it comes to our own relationships there’s a dissonance between what we’re publicly reciting and what we’re practicing. Now my question is not about why this is the case but rather the discrepancy between how we talk about the concept of “trust” in particular, and how it might be realistically applied. We've all heard of the proverbial “right to privacy” when it comes to technology in a marriage. What appears to be the prevailing thought is that a spouse’s accounts, passwords and phone shall remain private and protected because if you truly trusted your spouse you would not need to be privy to their social media accounts and devices. Although my empirical evidence indicates that in application it’s more like: If my spouse is trustworthy then he/she would not feel the need to hide their social media accounts and phone from me. I must admit, I see more logic in the latter mode of thinking than the former. When you marry you have shared access to a home, possessions, bank accounts(?), and the most valuable of all: each others bodies. And despite all this physical, emotional and logistical intimacy, a spouse would still feel the need to hide their social media accounts and phone from their spouse? It seems excessively cautious for a spouse with nothing to hide. Or am I missing something? To be clear, I am not talking about an overbearing and jealous spouse who feels the need to track their partner’s every move. I’m not even suggesting a spouse use their access to check their spouse’s accounts frequently or ever. I’m merely suggesting that when both spouses know they have the ability to access each others accounts it’s showing that you trust them with that access and that you yourself are trustworthy. Does it not? Trust is a conduit to security. As humans, our primary need in any environment is to feel secure. Feeling secure in your environment and with your life is the most basic human need. Given this, would it then not make sense that we would need reassurance of that security in a marriage and a spouse intentionally hiding their phone and accounts is a threat to that security? Would you be content with your spouse not allowing you access to their social media accounts and phone? Would you feel a greater sense of trust and security if your spouse was happy to share these details with you? If you’re willing to share yours with them but not them with you, would this make you curious as to why?
Are any of y'all on Twitter or Tumblr, Pinterest, or Instagram? I'm always looking for new, interesting accounts to follow. Here are mine! Twitter: @SaBelleFemme Tumblr: BelleVierge Pinterest: BelleVierge Instagram: bellefille87 Share your links below! I could use some diversity in my feeds.