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Found 2 results

  1. I've been a member of OKCupid for many years. In that time, I've talked to a lot of people, but I've never found a match. My biggest problem with the site is that I can't seem to find a selection of people anywhere near my area who are willing to WTM. As a matter fo fact, even if I set my critieria to worldwide jsut to see who comes up, I still have a hard time finding anyone who is open to WTM. I've also tried eHarmony and Match without success. So, I put this question to the members fo the forum: how would you suggest that I might go about finding a guy who would be open to WTM? I'm in my late 30s, so it seems like finding a guy who will wait is about as likely as finding a four leaf clover. Also, I work from home, so co-workers aren't an option for dating and I'm not religious, so church is out. Any ideas or advice would be greatly appreciated.
  2. Online Dating

    Feel free to skip to the end, where the lovely BOLD questions live. Okay, so I was one of those people who was absolutely, positively sure that online dating was not for me. I’m a hopeless romantic, so I love imagining dozens of cute “how we met†stories, and picking each other out of a list of options on the computer screen never really seemed like an ideal way to begin a relationship. In my line of work, teaching, I really do not meet a lot of guys; my contact with the male species at work is either students or their parents, neither of which is a potential dating pool! By a cruel twist of fate, we do not even have any male teachers at my school, and I spend most of my time at work or asleep. The guys at my church are all a lot younger or married, and where I volunteer, the guys are taken or else completely wrong for me. So, unless I have a chance encounter with my soulmate at the grocery store, and we both realize it, and he asks for my number, and I get over my fear of giving it to a complete stranger, etc., my odds aren’t looking so good at the moment. I believe that God will bring me and my future husband together when the time is right, but I’m not sure how active of a role I need to be playing in the operation. To that end, when bored and curious late one night, I found myself signing up on a free dating site. Not with the intention of actually talking to anyone, but more to see who was out there. I didn’t post a picture, or really give much information; if anything, I tried to make it clear that I was not there to find a relationship. I found the online dating site both overwhelming and intriguing. It overwhelmed me in that, even without posting a picture, I began receiving, “Hi, how are you?†comments almost immediately, and even a thoughtful message from a guy who had actually read my profile and had creative responses to the things I had said. Suddenly, I had gone from a world of no available guys to a world where many people were approaching me, albeit very impersonally. I ignored their messages, as I had warned I would, and began the intriguing process known as “advanced search.†With an ease impossible if I had met these men in person, I was able to plug in several of my deal-breakers as filters, and I found myself presented with several guys who were Christian, non-smokers, and non-drinkers, who all lived within 25 miles of me. Reading through their profiles, some I could easily eliminate, while others sounded very appealing. At this point, I became confronted with very mixed feelings and have since been trapped in analysis-paralysis. I’ve always thought of online dating as less romantic, and I’ve been told before that it makes a person seem “desperate†and “pathetic.†Plus, there are always the stories of stalkers, serial killers, and at the very least, people who don’t look like their profile pictures. But on the other hand, those stalkers and serial killers exist in the real world too, and you can meet them offline as easily as you can online. Plus, it seems like it would be nice to be able to start dating someone who you already know shares common values with you; there would be less concern of starting to get attached, and then finding out too late that there was a major deal-breaker that must end things. The risk wouldn’t be gone, but you’d have better odds. At the moment, I don’t think I’ll be contacting anyone from the dating website. But I will say, it was nice to know that there were still single guys who had common values with me out there, nearby. They exist! So, if for no other reason than to give my hope a boost, it was good to visit the website. So, to the point of this long ramble: What are your thoughts regarding online dating? Do you know anyone who has had success? Have you had any experience online dating? If so, what was it like? If not, would you ever consider trying it?