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  1. I'm sharing with you all this article originally written in french by Aisha on this blog : I think it is really accurate Enjoy and be blessed! A number of problems in marriage originates in the differences between men and women. The man and the woman are equal (as spirits) but different both physically, emotionally and psychologically. The creation story in Genesis, already highlights at least 3 differences between man and woman: They have not all been fashioned at the same time: their responsibilities are different. They have been fashioned from different sources : the man was formed from the earth, and the woman from the rib of man: The man is a leader in the home (1 Corinthians 11 : 3). They were not created to be the same. God did not create another man to Adam. He created a woman, similar but different from him. Despite those differences, the man and woman are made to serve one another, to be united. And that's where the problems come! Most of our conflicts arise because we fail to value and leverage our differences. We struggle because we fail to understand each other and we tend to want the other to be like us, think like us, rather than exploit the specificities of each of us. To operate our marriages, we must know our differences and learn to transform them into advantages. To be wise is to have the ability to recognize and capitalize on the differences. God made us different from each other and it's not a mistake! The difference is not a problem! It's a blessing, more a grace from God to help us maximize our potential and to fulfill the purpose for which He created us and be connected with our spouses. The key is to get wisdom to take advantage. One major difference is in the way we produce and reproduce. And it is God who has done well. In our reproductive system it is the man who gives the seed. This seed is small, it does not look like much, but it is deposited in the woman, who incubates, develops, and nine months later gave birth to a baby. What is true at the level of reproduction is also true in other aspects of marriage. Generally, in marriage, the man is the seed donor and the woman works as an incubator. She receives the seed and incubates it. This seed grows into her. And what man recovers in the end, is something bigger, greater than what he had given at the start. Men give small things. Women take these little things and turn them into something bigger ... Eg in the area of ​​communication: A man can tell his wife the morning: I love you. Then he goes and completely forget what he said. But his wife will receive this seed, these few words in her heart, nurture, maintain and develop them. At night when he goes back, he will find his wife entirely happy, relaxed, smiling ... He will be wondering what he did ... what happens to his wife ... having forgotten what he had said. In fact, his wife received this little seed, and it has grown .... And in the evening, her attitude is only the expression of what her husband told her in the morning , of that seed that has been deposited into her. Similarly, a man may say nasty words like "you're a bad woman", "you're too zero," "you ‘re really tiring" and forget them completely. His wife will receive these words, nurture and develop them. Remember that she functions as an incubator. These words will grow into her. At the end of the day when he will return, this brother will see the manifestation of the seed he has planted; the atmosphere is heavy ... his wife may be unusually quiet, withdrawn .... And this brother will say, "But what's her problem? What is going on ? I did not do anything ! "He will perhaps complain saying," Frankly, I do not understand my wife. I did nothing to her. But she is cold. Her face is closed. She sulks ... "Brother, this is the fruit of the seed that you have filled her with before leaving in the morning. The problem is that men do not understand that the little things they say, they do, become BIG things into their wives. This little seed that you consider as nothing will grow into your wife and become a tree and bear fruit that you did not want in your marriage! It sounds simple, but it is the source of many problems in many marriages. Dr. Mensa Otabil said this (I agree with him): "Man has a huge responsibility in a successful marriage, because it is he who is the semen donor. " What happens in the home is mostly the result of seeds that man did. Brother, your wife only develops what you give her and gives you back something bigger and bigger! That's all ! A man who has wisdom should pause here to seize what I have said and take the decision to change the seeds he does, the things he says to his wife every day. The behavior, the attitude of your wife is very often a reflection of what you sow into her. Do you want things to change? Change your seeds! I still want to qualify my comments by saying that some women come into marriage with bad treasures, wounds of the past, which pollute their marriage. Suddenly, the brother harvest things he never sowed; his own seeds are stifled by a lot of things in the heart of his wife. Advice to a woman: if you are in this situation, I urge you to seek the restoration of your soul with God to avoid destroying your marriage. I close the parenthesis. Note of the translator : I also want to say that some women are foolish and they don’t respect their husbands and they also make really bad seeds. Words are important in both cases. Men have to learn to use their words wisely with their wives. BUT THE SAME GOES FOR THE WIVES.! They have to use their words wisely with their husbands. What you sow is what you reap. A great man of God, Dr. Derek Prince often said: The woman is the glory of man (1 Corinthians 11: 7). So to recognise a successful a man, just look at his wife. His wife is clear proof. In other words, the woman manifests in an obvious way, what her husband seeds into her and what he does in her life. Brother, if you understand the lesson of wisdom that is behind what I am trying to share with you, your marriage will become a haven of peace ... Do not sow things that you would not want to reap. Avoid bitter words, evil, the demeaning, degrading …comments ... For example, when you are angry, do not talk hot. Because you will say a word, a comment, you'll immediately forget. But this word will grow into your wife and produce all kinds of fruits that you do not want to see in your marriage and have a greater impact than what you thought initially. We could apply this principle to many areas other than communication. And an area where I truly believe that this difference is profitable for man is in vision. The work God gave him to do on earth. Brother, you have a vision, a dream that God has put on your heart? Share it with your wife ... You'll be surprised how this idea will "sprout" into her! In short: man is a seed donor and the woman gets what man has given to her and develops it, multiplies it and produces something bigger. These are the major differences that create a lot of misunderstanding. But if we look more closely, these differences are an asset. Not a problem. If a man understands that, he will pay more attention to the type of seed that he deposits in the heart, and in the life of his wife! And if a woman understands that, she will pay more attention to what she accepts to receive into her! May God help us ! (To be continued…) Aisha