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Showing results for tags 'jealousy'.
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What is the proper way to deal with jealousy? Lets say hypothetically that Im dating this guy and he gets upset because another guy was talking to me. So he starts bombarding me with questions, who was that guy? why were you ta--- and this is where I get irritated and shut down. I dont do well with conflict, am I wrong or being inconsiderate if I just wanna curl up in a ball and roll away at this very moment? should there be jealousy in relationships? is it unhealthy? And when tiffs occur I immediately want out, I just feel like if the argument is pointless why have it? its just too stressful but people tell me that in normal relationships these things happen and they are near impossible to avoid But some arguments help you grow and you learn more about one another... So then what is the best way to deal with these? because in the past whenever arguments have occurred I usually just sit there quietly thinking of ways to escape...help!
So, first of all I want to dissuade any attempt to discuss my level of maturity and the broad scope of my relationship decision in general. I've served in the Army and am currently going to college. My girl is working at a private Christian academy and attending college...so it's sort of long distance by a couple of hours, and distractions/other issues aren't really the problem. Well, we met at a Christian camp we both worked at, and sort of rekindled our friendship a few years later, ie recently. We'd been talking for a few months and have finally made it official. Obviously the problem is that I found out she made a mistake a few months before we were talking...the hard part for her being that she has a big role in the church as a worship leader and missions worker and had actually just gotten back form a long missions trip...so you can think how the church looks at it. Another couple of important things to start with are that the guy she slept with (twice only) was pretty random and she says it was a period of weakness for her because of other things with her family she's dealt with in the past, not to mention he was suicidal and it sounds like he really goaded her into giving herself away. We are both in our twenties and she lives at home currently while the whole college thing is being completed. My biggest problem is of course my continuing mental anguish over this random guy she has been with and my seeming inability to erase it from my mind. I've told her this and she told me about her mistake the night we discussed a serious relationship...so communication has been excellent. I've tried praying about this and reading other people's reviews and all I see are horribly negative things about guys who were in my position. Well, I'm looking for some real Christian advice on what I should do to help the situation...I can't stop visualizing all the stuff they must have done and whether she's still thinking about it..etc. etc. I would really like to hear from someone with experience in this situation...or any wisdom at all really, I REALLY like this girl, and we've prayed about our relationship a lot, I don't take things like this lightly and I don't want some stupid thoughts in my head to ruin everything else...oh and I wouldn't' mind details about things like what it was like on that wedding night, or what a non-virgin girl thinks about a relationship she's had with a virgin guy such as myself...Thank you if you got this far.