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Found 1 result

  1. Eva and Zac have been married for 5 years and have two young children. Lately Zac has felt that he and Eva are drifting apart. It became more apparent to Zac after they had their second child about a year ago. He can’t figure out what to do to make it better. He’s scared that his wife has stopped loving him since they had kids and uses his traveling for work, among other things, as a way to justify them drifting apart. Zac feels his value as a person is based solely on how he is as a father. He feels like he and Eva are not even married anymore, just two people who live together and take care of the kids. Zac admits he’s not a very good father since he has to travel a lot for work. That's the big issue now. He admits he has to make some changes to stay home more so that he can be with the kids. As the sole breadwinner, working in a senior position in a field where his skills don't naturally translate to other professions, he’s having a hard time finding another job. Especially since they moved to Eva’s small hometown to be close to her family. At work, Zac feels people value his opinion and listen to what he has to say. Although at home he says his wife throws tantrums calling him "selfish idiot" and calls his explanations for being away so much "bad excuses". Zac says Eva seems to genuinely believe that he would prefer to be away from her and their two kids and it's made her resent him. They haven't had sex in at least 14 months and if he brings it up she shuts him down immediately, saying something like "The way things are, I'm not at all interested in sex." Zac loves his current job and doesn’t really want to start a new career in a new field, but he will do it if it means a secure income and a happier home life but he’s scared that it won't get better. Since they aren't romantic at all anymore (with the exception of a kiss goodnight or possibly a hug after a bad fight) he’s terrified that "the job issue" is just a placeholder for something much worse, that she doesn't love him anymore and that will become painfully obvious if he quit his job. He’s at a loss and every day that goes by they seem to drift more apart and fight more frequently. Let’s kick this off so we can operate on this mess. What are your thoughts on what’s happening here? Does Eva have reason to be behaving the way she is? Are Zac’s concerns valid?