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Hi Everyone! I am a 23 year old woman who has decided to WTM, but I have had sex before. I wanted to start this discussion to find out more about the other non-virgins on here (I guess I was just curious), and I have a few questions for you guys and girls: How many partners have you had sex with? What made you change your mind and decide to wait till marriage? Do you think it's harder to wait, having had sex before? Have your partners been understanding of your decision? Are you waiting to marriage to have any sexual contact, or will you be having "anything but" sex during your relationships? Do you think not being sexually active has improved the quality of your romantic relationships? Do you think you will end up getting engaged/married more quickly once you find "the one", so that you can be intimate with them? Do you worry about marrying someone, only to find out that you are sexually incompatible? I'll answer some of these for myself: I have had one sexual relationship, with my ex-boyfriend. Growing up, no one in my family ever talked about sex, and the idea of waiting till marriage was never mentioned outside of a religious context (Catholicism). None of my friends waited, and I never thought about waiting either. However, I was quite guarded when it came to any form of sexual contact, and I was hoping to wait for "the one". When I started dating my ex, at the age of 21, I was SO SURE we would get married one day, and we had sex. But then, a year a half later, I realized that deep down I wasn't happy with him, and we broke up. Now, I feel guilty for not waiting for my future husband...almost like I cheated on him, even though we haven't met. I am hoping that, when I find him, he will be accepting of my past. I know firsthand that "retroactive jealousy" is a really awful thing, as I had a really hard time thinking about the fact that my ex had been with 4 girls before me. I always wondered if he compared us, and now I'm scared that my future husband will have those same feelings. However, I am really determined to wait, no matter how long it takes. I believe that waiting will make my future relationship and marriage stronger. Without sex in the beginning, we will really be able to communicate, even about difficult things, and make sure we agree on major issues (money, children, where to live, etc.) before taking the next step (marriage). I do worry a little about sexual incompatibility, because I have a high sex drive and I would hate to be sexually frustrated in a marriage (this was a major issue for me in my relationship). However, even that seems like something that can be candidly discussed before tying the knot. Thanks so much for reading...I know this is a long post, but I would love to hear from you all!!
purediscipleofyeshua posted a topic in Introduce YourselfMy name is James and I'm 33. I'll admit since I moved with my father back in 1991 at the age of 9 years old, I was exposed to lots of hardcore porn on magazine and on video. However, I never have slept with any real women or experienced orgasm at all.... I've had very few sporadic close encounters and have said no to at least to 40 or 50 women that wanted to sleep with me. At this point in my life, I just don't feel right being with a woman sexually unless we can relate to "holding out" for each other until marriage. I'm very adamant about only wanting a virgin. Period. I live in South Florida and the area I live in is very transient as well as lots of heavy tourism - which makes it even harder to find a decent woman who has actually "waited" for her husband. The only answer I can think of is joining these forums for open discussion, researching statistics of what denominations or jewish temples statistically have abstinent movements/ministries and then date maybe 1 woman a month and allow time to take care of itself to find the right one. Any comments?? I really don't feel I'm being picky... at all... I'm just adhering to my convictions... James