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  1. Original french article written by Aisha on this blog : One problem that many couples are experiencing today is familiarity. Familiarity can be a real poison for the couple. Familiarity happens when husband and wife become so used to each other and they end up taking each other for granted. It is true that when you live with someone for a long time, the routine sets in, we take habits, one is able to anticipate the needs of each other and you end up not noticing changes in the life of the other and the value of the other. The signs of familiarity in the couple The first obvious sign of familiarity is when we stop doing what we were doing at the beginning to please to each other. Example: negligence in hygiene and / or appearance, carelessness in the choice of meals (for women), no more consideration, no more attention, no more interest, no more consideration in how to talk and treat each other, no more words of affirmation, no more love, no more respect, no more admiration, no more joy to meet, no more joy of being together, no more friendship! Basically, we take each other for granted, we become too comfortable with each other and stop saying, and doing things that contribute to the development of the couple and then finally everything becomes monotonous, boring. We do not see the value of the other. We only see his/her faults and become constantly critical. How many men today fall into adultery because they found outside their homes respect, recognition, admiration, what their wives gave them no more, or simply because they are bored in their relationship ? How many women fall into adultery because they have found a friend, someone who sees their value and give them value, someone who listens well, someone with whom they feel valuable, unique or simply because everything has become too monotonous at home? The root of this is familiarity. At the root, I think there are mainly the lack of love, respect and honor. The person we admired yesterday, this special and distinguished person in our eyes in the engagement period, this person held in high esteem t who has gradually become negligible, insignificant, irrelevant. Basically, we think that there is nothing special to learn from him / her and suddenly we no longer trying to get to learn to know him/her again. It’s a mistake to think like that. What if you find yourself in this situation? Here are some ideas (non-exhaustive list): Enhance the value of your spouse in your own eyes. We must first recognize that he / she is unique, rare and very valuable, he / she is a gift from God for you and a gift of God to humanity. And Adam said: The woman whom thou gavest to be with me-she gave me of the tree; and I did eat. (Genesis 3:12, KJV) Adam recognized that Eve was a gift from God to him and not just any person. Your husband / your wife is a gift from God for you! There are hidden treasures in him / her that will help you in the mission that God has for you on earth. This is not a Lambda individual. This is not any person. There has not two as him / her in the world. He / she is unique. He / she is precious, so precious that Christ gave his life for him / her. This is someone special, chosen by God, that God loves and values. This is someone who bears the image of God. This is a man / woman of valor! Abilities and graces God has deposited in him / her are endless. You have not finished to discover the treasures within him/her... Just work on that can already change the atmosphere and bring something new in your relationship. Consider the needs of your spouse and commit yourself today to respond to them. One of the deepest needs your man has, is to be respected, admired. Never underestimate this need! One of the needs of your wife is to be loved, to have your affection. Never underestimate this need! But I digress here to say that if our needs are not satisfied in marriage, that’s not a good reason to go elsewhere or to divorce. There are solutions in God to deal with those situations. David said: The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want. (Psalm 23: 1). When God says that He will supply all our needs, He means it. He will supply in EVERYTHING. There is no need to fall into infidelity to access the divine provision. God will find a way to send us this provision. Let us not be caught in the trap of fornication! I close the parenthesis. Often do things that break the routine! Hang out together ... without the children regularly. From time to time, introduce something new in your routine: go visit a place you've never been to, try a new restaurant, register for an activity you will do together, without the kids ... Anyway do something different fairly regularly. Other ideas for women, it can be: change the cooking menu, change the decor of the house (it hasn’t to be very expensive ... sometimes, just change the furniture layout, change the curtains, change mat or add plants can bring a new aspect), etc. In all couples, there is always some degree of familiarity and routine. But never become too familiar, never take each other for granted and do not let the routine dominate your life as a couple, it's a trap! Even with God, things are constantly renewed. So pray for that every day can be a new day, a day where you'll discover again your wife / husband (I assure you that you have never finished to learn about the other) and where you explore new things together. You have no idea of how unique and precious treasures God has hidden in your spouse and they are really a blessing not only for you but also for your family, your community and the world in general! Never take each other for granted! May God help us! Aisha