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lovelydream1021 posted a topic in Topics About Waiting and/or RelationshipsHi everyone! So, this may have been covered already (sorry >.<), but I wanted to know how you'd respond to the argument that we need to have sex to find out if we're compatible with our boyfriend/girlfriend before geting married. This is a main argument one of my friends uses to try to talk me out of WTM (which obviously won't work lol). Are there any other popular arguments you've heard that you have a good rebuttal for that you'd like to share? We can make a list! My response to the argument is that I would rather choose a man based on his personality and interests rather than how good he is in bed. It's just what is more important to me. If you found the man/woman of your dreams, someone who makes you feel happy and who loves you unconditionally, would you let them go because they couldn't perform as well as you'd like them to? I know I sure wouldn't! So what do you all think?
So, first of all I want to dissuade any attempt to discuss my level of maturity and the broad scope of my relationship decision in general. I've served in the Army and am currently going to college. My girl is working at a private Christian academy and attending college...so it's sort of long distance by a couple of hours, and distractions/other issues aren't really the problem. Well, we met at a Christian camp we both worked at, and sort of rekindled our friendship a few years later, ie recently. We'd been talking for a few months and have finally made it official. Obviously the problem is that I found out she made a mistake a few months before we were talking...the hard part for her being that she has a big role in the church as a worship leader and missions worker and had actually just gotten back form a long missions trip...so you can think how the church looks at it. Another couple of important things to start with are that the guy she slept with (twice only) was pretty random and she says it was a period of weakness for her because of other things with her family she's dealt with in the past, not to mention he was suicidal and it sounds like he really goaded her into giving herself away. We are both in our twenties and she lives at home currently while the whole college thing is being completed. My biggest problem is of course my continuing mental anguish over this random guy she has been with and my seeming inability to erase it from my mind. I've told her this and she told me about her mistake the night we discussed a serious relationship...so communication has been excellent. I've tried praying about this and reading other people's reviews and all I see are horribly negative things about guys who were in my position. Well, I'm looking for some real Christian advice on what I should do to help the situation...I can't stop visualizing all the stuff they must have done and whether she's still thinking about it..etc. etc. I would really like to hear from someone with experience in this situation...or any wisdom at all really, I REALLY like this girl, and we've prayed about our relationship a lot, I don't take things like this lightly and I don't want some stupid thoughts in my head to ruin everything else...oh and I wouldn't' mind details about things like what it was like on that wedding night, or what a non-virgin girl thinks about a relationship she's had with a virgin guy such as myself...Thank you if you got this far.