Cody

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About Cody

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    Advanced Member
  • Birthday 06/05/1988

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    Male
  • Location
    Pacific Northwest
  • Interests
    Movies, Music, Books, Skiing, Learning, & Good Conversation. :D

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  1. Ha this is awesome. I love trying new things so I'm totally on board with this. I have had crocodile and it's pretty good. I have also had snails and frog legs. I've eaten ants but they weren't giant. I have yet to try mealworms and crickets. I once saw a food show where they featured a cricket salad and since then I've wanted to try it. I don't know if I could stomach it but it sure looked good!
  2. Super true. I like hearing accounts of people that end up happy. I thought so too! Haha, I was super confused for a second!
  3. Found this on Lemondrop and thought I'd share... __ When I met Jack, I felt pretty much every romantic, clichéd feeling ever -- fireworks crackling, the imaginary sound of opera music, weak knees ... the whole nine. I decided when I was young that I wanted to wait for sex until I fell in love. The problem was, that being an incurable romantic often means being incurably picky. Oh, I dated -- a lot. But if I didn't feel the lightning bolt, I tended to break things off after one or two dates. By age 21 -- though not for lack of opportunities -- I was still a virgin. And then finally, I found the one. Here I was, in love with Jack; and, conveniently, he loved me too. Which is why we decided not to have sex. Jack was an "accidental" virgin too -- certainly not opposed to sex, but a total gentleman who made it a point never to push boundaries with girls. He'd never clicked with anybody enough to take things to the next level. For Jack, it was a matter of not finding the right person. For me, it was a combination of not landing the right guy and the religion in which I was raised. I certainly don't go around preaching abstinence to everyone; it was just something I practiced personally. When we realized that we were novices in the effects of sex on a relationship, we made the decision to make sex something we worked on together, as a married couple. What Made it Difficult (Besides the Obvious) Abstinence seems to be a touchy subject these days. I'm just one of those girls who realized she'd have to be over the moon for a guy before she could fathom him seeing her naked. Call me crazy, but I think intimacy comes with time. Sure, it was really annoying being asked constantly how hard it was hard to refrain, why I didn't want to try sex, and getting called a prude (an awful lot). The truth was, until Jack, I'd never really wanted a guy bad enough to sleep with him. Full disclosure: It was an incredible relief not to have to worry about his sexual past. No ex-girlfriends, no STDs, no competition to live up to. But our first time was a train wreck. Glorious and really intimate -- but a train wreck, nevertheless. But it got better eventually! Way, way, way better. I'll Never Have Sex With Anybody Else ... and I Don't Care Now that I'm married, people ask me if I'm worried that I missed out on having sex with other guys. You know, I don't think I was genetically coded that way. Plus, why would I need someone else to sleep with when the love of my life fulfills me, loves me, and truly knows me in the way no potentially awful, potentially regrettable, sweaty, thick-necked frat dude could have. I realized this sounds really old-fashioned, but I'm not advocating you quit your career and start baking pies. But isn't it as crazy as the frequency with which my friends call me in a panic after a regrettable one-night sexcapade with a guy they'll never speak to again? I'm not saying wait until marriage. But I think with every guy, it's not totally outrageous for you to ask yourself if you trust him with your body -- and your heart. If you feel comfortable and ready, then you have my blessing (not that you need it). So yeah -- I'll never experience sex with anybody else. But I'll also never experience the crap that so many of my beautiful and intelligent friends go through in the name of sex. I thank God for my husband every day, and thanks to him, I've never, ever questioned my value based on the fact that the guy didn't call me the next day ... 'cause the guy lives here. __ Here's the link for those that are interested.
  4. It sounds like things are going well! I wouldn't worry too much at this point. Just try not to let things go any further and keep dating him. If he's 'the one' then he won't pressure you and you'll have a lovely long healthy relationship. If he's not 'the one' he'll start trying to initiate more physical contact and when he realizes he's not getting anywhere he'll bail. In the meantime have fun!
  5. I absolutely agree. I think it shouldn't be presented in a way that makes it seem like an adult is telling the kids what to do. It should be presented in a way that's offering advice to a younger generation. Adults should tell people that it's not about how to manage their lives but how to choose the type of life that they want. Statistically girls (and I'm sure boys as well) who have sex at a young age end up poor, single mothers, with a low life expectancy. Of course there's always exceptions but for the most part that's what will become of them. Ha this is awesome. At my high school we actually had a guy come and speak to our whole school about sex. He had waited himself and was very enthusiastic and well received. I'd already chosen to wait at that point so I wasn't really in his target audience but I remember wondering how some of the teachers that were present (and hadn't waited) felt. A lot of the girls got emotional during the presentation and a lot of guys felt weird talking about that kind of stuff but I don't think it really affected anyone. My highschool also did a program about drunk driving and half the school was crying during that assembly. Of course most of those people were drunk that weekend. Many people aren't capable or don't want to engage in self-reflective thought and therefore don't take future consequences into account when they make choices in the present. I can't wait to teach my kids! Honestly though, this is something I worry about. If I marry a woman who didn't wait what am I supposed to tell them? "Wait until marriage, I did and it was an excellent decision! Your mother didn't though she sure was busy when she was younger. " I think one upside to a mixed couple like that would be that the person who didn't wait could tell them how it made things more difficult and how they regret it. I have talked about this with the girl I'm currently dating and she's said that she's going to encourage her daughter to wait. I know she regrets the choices she made and she said that when it comes time she's going to emphasize the emotional aspect. She was unprepared for that part of it.
  6. Part of the reason is that most people haven't waited, including adults. It's hard to teach people about something that you didn't do yourself. The only people that could really advocate this is people who have lived it. We're so rare that it's not likely that any of us will ever be in a position to teach it. I think this website is currently one of the best tools we have to 'spread the word.' Even famous celebrities who have chosen to wait don't speak out about it for fear of being ostracized. I agree with you that society is sick. I, personally, don't see things ever improving either. I don't know what that means for the future but unless something very radical happens things will just continue to slide downhill. The only thing we can do is hold fast to our decision and let our lives be examples to others. We must stand as lighthouses amidst a dark and violent sea.
  7. Not quite the reverse but I see what you mean. She's totally genuine too but she's just had a run of bad luck. She's totally caring, sweet, funny, etc... We just have different views on things like waiting. Ha that's funny that it sounds ridiculous. Well just don't fall for it I guess. The more you talk about this guy the better he sounds. I think holding hands is perfectly fine. Even being physical is fine as long as you're comfortable. You just want to be careful to not get too emotionally attached before you feel like you've adequately assessed the situation. I was worried about that myself. I worried that kissing was making me blind to things that I'd normally run from. Now that we're out of that giddy beginning, I feel like I can see things a lot more clearly. Being somewhat physical (snuggling, holding hands, kissing) is fine just so long as it doesn't cloud your judgement and, of course, as long as you feel comfortable with it.
  8. Admittedly it sounds like sweet talk to me. I've been in some very serious relationships in the past and we only very rarely said things like that to each other. It could definitely just be a case by case thing but it sounds like he's trying too hard, trying to come across as smitten. The one piece of advice that I think you should cling to is the old adage, "actions speak louder than words." In my experience I can't possibly emphasis how true this is. Pay close attention to what he's doing rather than what he's saying. If he really is smitten then he'll get embarrassed when he does something silly, he'll be trying too hard (hopefully opening doors for you), and you'll find yourself thinking 'that's so cute!' He needs to show you how he feels, not just tell you. One specific example I can recall is at the beginning of one of my longer relationships I took my girlfriend snowboarding for her first time. By then I had already told her that I was in love with her but she hadn't said it back yet. Unfortunately the mountain closed down after only a few hours due to extreme weather but we did get a full refund. After the whole ordeal she told me that she could tell that I really did love her because of the way I acted toward her on the mountain. I was essentially teaching her how to snowboard and she said I was very patient with her and happy to be there. I don't know if that helps but I think it's a good example to illustrate that actions do speak louder than words. It was shortly after that trip that she said it back.
  9. Hey Sally, I've recently found myself in a disturbingly similar situation. I think it's a lot different from a guy's perspective though. I may be casting her as the victim but I do know that she isn't proud of the choices she's made in the past. She doesn't regret them because she learned things that make her the person she is today. I realized too, that without those experiences she might not be the girl that I find myself liking today. It was definitely the hardest in the beginning. I have trouble getting into a relationship unless I see long-term potential. What helped me the most was just talking about her past and understanding why she made those choices. We've been together for a little over 2 months at this point and we're still going strong. It's definitely still hard at times though. I feel slightly guilty because I am the first decent, genuine, guy that she's ever been close to and I don't want to cause her unnecessary anxiety about her past. I asked her early on if she would date me knowing from the beginning that we would only last a year and she said she would because she'd still be curious about what adventures we would have. Does she mean better as in someone else who is also waiting? If she does then she should realize that the chances of finding someone that you match up with who's also waiting is practically nil. There are a ton of good people out there who haven't/aren't waiting and I don't think that we should just pass them by. If we do we might end up very lonely. The second part about him treating you as well as you deserve is definitely something you should keep an eye out for. It's hard to see things objectively while you're in the honeymoon phase (which I assume you still are) so wait a couple weeks, take things slow, and see how you feel then. Dealing with the past is also the hardest during this time because it's the time that you're looking the farthest forward and have the highest expectations. If he seems like the kind of guy that would pressure you for sex I would highly recommend kicking him to the curb. Any girl can do better than that. Ultimately, I don't have the right answer to this question but I've decided to give it a shot for myself. If you feel good about it and he seems like a genuinely nice guy then go for it but just be careful. The more I think about this the more interesting the girl/guy perspective on this is. If you have anymore questions/comments/insights fire away! Leo
  10. Introducing Myself

    I've never met a couple that has done this but I've heard stories. It's so romantic! The divorce rate for couples that wait to have sex until marriage is already much lower but I bet there is no divorce rate among those who wait to share their first kiss. Very cool.
  11. If only this were true! I'm just kidding the world would be a nightmare. It's this ability to think ahead that I think really sets people who are waiting apart. We're investing in our future by 'saving' ourselves in the present. Very well said.
  12. Nice responses everyone! Now it's time for - Question 2! Is there a difference between genders regarding the impact of physical intimacy? Can girls – assuming they are more emotionally oriented than men – can more easily overcome previous physical relationships and still love someone as strongly as if they had waited? Can guys - assuming they are more physically oriented - put the past away and approach sex in a new relationship with a fresh perspective? Let me know what you all think. I'd love to hear from the girls on this one!
  13. I sure hope that not only a minority of women have a high sex drive. There is of course emotional attachment which can be a large contributor to that though. One day you're going to have a very happy husband. You know, surprisingly it's not super difficult. The difficult part comes when we're dating someone. In that situation it gets really easy to start pushing boundaries. Oh just a little bit of this is ok once in a while, ok maybe a little more...and pretty soon things are spiraling rapidly out of control! If I'm not in a relationship though it's not a bit deal. Unless I'm emotionally attached to someone there's not a whole lot of risk. Usually you'll be able to gauge this just based on the physical interaction you do have, e.g. making out. It never hurts to talk about it though! I typically don't talk about this because I feel like it's intensely personal, but Sarah is right. As humans, particularly humans that are waiting for marriage to have sex, there can be a lot of frustration surrounding sexual release. Our sexual desire comes from the same part of our brain as hunger so that should give you an indication of how powerful this drive can be. If you aren't opposed to masturbation for religious reasons or otherwise this can be a useful outlet to keep you sane until the honeymoon.
  14. Wow this is super fascinating. Excellent find Sarah. I'd never heard anybody talk about the imprinting thing before. I've always felt like that was true but it's really cool to see somebody actually discuss this and back it up.
  15. Why Should I Wait?

    Hey Sarah! Glad that you finally signed up for the site. I was going to mention reading through the articles on the main site but it looks like you've already done that. When I was 20 I didn't regret my decision even a little bit and I still don't. It's an empowering commitment to make because it puts you in charge of your life. As someone who is younger and has clearly thought about waiting, I wanted to ask you a question. I have a younger sister who just recently turned 16. My parents have only ever dated each other but they don't ever talk about stuff like that. I feel sort of obligated to bring it up with her but I don't want to be the weird older brother. I just want her to know that I've made that choice in my life and that I feel it is important. How would you feel if an older brother tried to talk to you about waiting?