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About fearlessgirl2

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    Writing, making people laugh, watching movies, singing, traveling
  1. “Judging other people�

    I admit that I have on occasions judged people. however as a Christian I try not to judge people but I think people do it whether they realize it or not but they may or may now always do so intentionally. I've also met other people who claim they don't judge people and they seem to be the first ones to judge in a given situation. so I try to stay away from what I call self righteous people. These are people who don't think they ever make any mistakes. In my opinion the only way somebody can say they don't ever judge or make a mistake is if you're perfect in every sense of the word and Jesus has been the only one that could say that he's never made a mistake. Sorry if I came across as preaching.
  2. Sin vs. Sin

    So I was thinking one day about how some people especially certain church members who think they can do nothing wrong and I guess people in general who think this way. These kind of people are judgmental. I should know because I used to go to a church with a lot of people like this and I always felt judged. They would always say things like under no circumstances should you have sex before marriage or basically commit any kind of sins, especially sexual sins(fornication, masturbation, etc). So got to thinking, no sin is bigger or worse than another sin regardless of what type of sin or whether the sin is repeated. Then I thought how interesting it is that in a legal standpoint, this isn't the case. The punishment for criminals varies depending on what they did. For example, a rapist would probably get more time in jail than somebody who stole something from a store. I wanted to know why is it that we tend to frown down on certain sins or even justify certain sins over others? In other words why is it that people tend to frown on sexual sins over other sins?
  3. The other day, I went to church and after service we had a picnic. I started talking to another church member and we got on the topic of marriage. She told me she was married at one time but divorced him. She realized he was not Mr. Right even though he was in church, he even went to the same church she did. However, she never had any kids which she regrets now because the marriage didn't last and now she's too old to have any even if Mr. right were to be revealed to her now and she doesn't date. She also was celibate until she married this guy so of course she had no other opportunity to have kids because she was trying to do what she thought was right. He actually disappeared one day and she filed for divorce but it's currently in limbo. After she told me all this, I couldn't help but feel sorry for her. Now that I thin about it, there are probably a lot of Christians and women in general who have this problem. This topic kind of hits close to home with me because I'm almost done with college but there seems to be no prospects of any guy being the one for me that I've met so far. Sometimes this scared me because i'm in my 20's so I have a while before my biological clock starts ticking but I think sometimes about what would happen if I meet the one or who I think is the one when i'm too old to have children. I really want to have kids, not this very second but sometime after I graduate college. I also know in this day and age, getting married and then having kids isn't that common but that's how I want it to be for me. My question is what would you do if you decided to become celibate for religious reasons until you get married but miss out on having kids due to age because you got married later in your life or because your relationship didn't work out before you had a chance to get pregnant?
  4. Blended Families

    Daydreamer, thanks for posting. It really helps me and I do feel like I'm not alone. You pretty much summed up all the things I feel about having a new man around. I think one of my biggest problems is sharing my mom as well. Sometimes I feel guilty feeling the way I do about this guy but now I know it's normal. I just hope one day things go back to normal and I can adjust, especially if they get married and he has kids.
  5. Blended Families

    Hey everybody, it's been a minute since I've been on here. I've been going through some things in my life. My mom, who I'm extremely close to, has recently found her Mr. Right. I should say he found her at our church. She recently found out he is attracted to her and they've been dating for a couple weeks now. However, we found out that he is a minister...A real minister, not like the ones you see on tv lately who molest kids and whatnot. Anyway, he comes over to my mom's house sometimes to spend time with her and he talks to me too. I'm just having a hard time adjusting to the fact that my mom is dating. She hasn't dated anyone since her divorce which was 7 years ago. She raised me as a single parent before she got married so besides her marriage, I'm used to it just being me and my mom against the world so to speak. I like her new boyfriend but besides time which I admit patience is not a virtue of mine, I don't really know how to handle this situation. This is the only relationship my mom has been in where she's been treated the way she is supposed to be ( he respects her, has manners, he accepts the fact that me and my mom are shy and they have the same religious views, they have a lot of things in common so far among other things. I've been in this situation before regarding having to deal with a new man coming into the family when my mom got married 7 years ago except I was a lot younger at the time so this time feels different. This new man and my mom are not rushing things but it definitely looks like they'll be getting married in the future ad he has kids my age. I've never had step siblings before. Does anybody know what I'm talking about or going through? Feel free to respond.
  6. Hi There :)

    Hey Theresa, I've never been in a serious relationship before either...just friends with benefits. I'm reluctant to date people for the same reasons but I think there's someone out there for you who will respect your decision to wait and you won't have to look for him...he will come to you somehow.
  7. Not a Virgin but I Want to Wait

    Hey Jack, I'm in a similar situation and it's good to know I'm not alone. I'm not a virgin either and I've had bad experiences with giving up sex too soon. Needless to say, I want that same bond with my future husband someday. It will happen when it's supposed to happen.
  8. How do you know?

    I think you just know if you should be marrying someone if they are the right match for you. It should feel natural. As far as wanting space while being in a relationship, it's completely understandable but if it becomes a major problem that could ruin a relationship like having too much time apart maybe it's best to stay single until you decide whether most of your personal free time is worth giving up to be in a relationship let alone marriage.
  9. Since I recently decided to wait until marriage to have sex, I have a lot of questions that come to mind. I get alot of mixed reactions when I look this question up online, so I was wondering what y'all think. If someone is waiting until marriage and they've found that special person that is also waiting until marriage, should they be hugging or kissing if they're in public? I know it's not a good idea for couples to be alone due to temptation but should they wait to kiss and hug or hold hands until marriage since they're waiting to have sex? I mean kssing and hugging could lead to other things...
  10. "Settling"

    I would say based on my experience, I've definitely settled and for me, it wasn't worth it. I stayed with this guy for a year and there was no spark but I was afraid to end things between us because I got comfortable with him and didn't want to start over with some stranger. I didn't like the process of getting to know somebody all over again but at the same time if you feel something is missing with the person you're comfortable with, you need to end things. I eneded up ending things with the guy I was with because I realized I deserved better. If you know better, you do better. You deserve to be with somebody who meets your standards. I'm not saying the one will be perfect because nobody is but that special person should just click with you on the important things. You should make a list of the things you want in that special person that can't be comporimised such as wanting somebody that is willing to wait to have sex with you. Then you should make a list of things that can be compromised. I would say if that special person meets your standards that can't be compromised and doesn't pressure you to do anything that you're uncomfortable with, you've found the one.