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Everything posted by Slayerofdragon

  1. Hey Everyone, This was probably asked before in other threads but I am curious... what is your personality type and what strength and weaknesses do you feel you have because of it? I will start... I am an INFJ.. woo hoo. As an INFJ some strengths that I see coming from having this personality are the following: -Being a helper (I love to help people especially those in need). -Being an advocate for someone. -Insightful (Probably due to having a strong N (intuition function) but I see issues not at surface level but I tend to delve deeper and as a result I gleam new ideas and perspective when I look into a situation) -Determined and passionate (when I am passionate about something such as a cause or I see a reason following a dream then I tend to go after what I want and be passionate about it. Weaknesses: - Agreeableness (some people may find this trait a positive but I put it here because INFJs are high on agreeableness to the sometimes detriment of not putting forth their own thoughts when in relationships). - Harmonizer (again, some people might believe this trait is positive and I would agree with them: harmonizing with others is a good skill when trying to possibly smooth over a conflict. But, I also think too much harmony is not a good thing. As an INFJ I tend to naturally harmonize and what sometimes ends up happening is people do not know what my real views are on the issue and that’s because we tend to mirror what the other person is saying. I think as INFJs being able to extrapolate our own conclusions about the situation first before harmonizing with the person may prove beneficial so we don’t get caught up in the feelings and details of the moment). - Sensitive (ooh my goodness! INFJs can be sensitive. By sensitive, I mean when someone challenges my view or labels my view as preposterous, then I tend to have a strong response to them. I think as an INFJ, what has helped me to deal with this sensitivity is realizing that the person trying to criticize me isn’t trying to put me down but give me constructive criticism (for the most part). But.. giving forth a strong response due to some form of criticism is a natural response of mine. - Extremely Private (as an INFJ I tend to be private and don’t easily let other people privy to my thoughts. I know other INFJs who are similar and I think that’s because INFJ are in their head a lot and we use these thoughts to shape who we are and I think sharing these thoughts to be vulnerable. What about you? What personality type are you?
  2. Coronavirus

    Hey all, During this pandemic, how are you coping? Have you noticed anything good happen in your life as the result of these trying times?
  3. Guy Dancing to Alicia Keys

    Just thought I'd share. For those who are having a crummy day, I hope this vid brightens it.
  4. Hey everyone, just wanted to ask a question: If you knew or even if you didn't know, that your child would be handicapped (physically, emotionally, or mentally), would that be a potential deal breaker in your marriage? Personally, I feel that having a handicapped child wouldn't be a deal breaker for me (I have a brother who has cerebral palsy), so I hope my wife would be understanding.
  5. Husband Material

    Well this question goes out to the ladies. Ladies: What type of personality do you want in a husband? Do you prefer the quiet, possibly shy, introvert type? The gregarious,extroverted type, or something different?
  6. Guys. Make-up or natural?

    I am an between guy. On the one hand, I like it when a girl wears all natural aka no makeup but I also don’t mind if she has a little make up on too.
  7. I can relate with you Vince. I think that I may have a strong sex drive myself. Waiting till marriage can be difficult at times. Hopefully, I will find someone who has the same or close to the same sex drive as me.
  8. Marriage

    That’s was a very informative and good video. Thank you for sharing it.
  9. Galileo, I am not a married waiter by any stretch but I do think communication is important. Maybe take some time to sit down with her and tell her how you honestly feel similar to how you shared with us your feelings of inadequacy and worry that you won’t measure up to her past lovers. Maybe listen to what she has to say and talk about you and her expectations on your wedding night. The fact that she rejected her previous promiscuous lifestyle by understanding a deeper truth that “God created sex for pleasure and enjoyment in marriage” tells me that she has changed her standards to higher ones. She appears to place a lot of value on not just how she views sex but who she has sex with. That being said, I feel that when the times comes for both of you to be intimate in the bedroom, she will only have attention on you, value you, and your time together. Plus, if you are not confident on what you are doing on your wedding night. That’s really ok, :). You have a lifetime to practice with her, :).
  10. How important is height?

    I wouldn’t be bothered by it.
  11. How important is height?

    Hmm..good question. I would say that I like who are my height or shorter but dating taller woman is not a deal breaker for me.
  12. What is your sexual orientation?

    I am a straight male, a heterosexual man to be precise. I am attracted to women and hope and want my future wife to be attracted to my masculinity. I want to rock her world, :).
  13. Timing is Everything

    That's a good question. Don't misunderstand me: I am interested in falling in love. Honestly, I want to get to know my potential girlfriend first as a friend and then work towards being more than friends. I don't like the idea of falling in love prematurely.
  14. Timing is Everything

    That’s a good question. Right now, I am not ready to get married due to working towards starting my career. I am also not ready to fall in love yet; although, I am open to the possibility of liking someone/ being more than friends.

    Vince, Thanks for the good news and for your help as well as others to keep the site running.
  16. The site is going down starting March 1 so I thought that I would ask the question: what will you miss about and what do you love about the site? I will start. I will miss the camaraderie that I gained from being a member. I created and established many friendships here and I will miss the opportunity to make friendships with future WTMers. This was to me the “watering hole” where people with similar like minds could come and gather. As a member, I loved the forums. I loved interacting and getting to know fellow members through reading and commenting on their posts. What about you?
  17. Chaperones

    I agree with previous posters. I don’t think you need a chaperone since you are not in high school. You are a grown 30 something year old woman and I am sure that you know your boundaries. Stick to them and let no man under mine then. You are a person of worth who is capable of directing her own life.
  18. Hey Vince, I also understand that feeling. I have been envious of my friends who marry young and supposedly found the One. On the one hand, I think it is easy to make a generalization like that since you and I haven’t had much success in meeting our future spouse. We get envious..makes total sense why. On the other hand, we don’t know what could be their struggle as a couple. Maybe one of them has an anger problem that Facebook doesn’t show, maybe the other has the beginnings of post partum depression, or maybe due to their young marriage both of them are taking each other for granted. I guess what I am trying to say is the heartache that you feel is valid and I am sure when you meet the right woman for you, you will not take her granted. It sucks waiting for that moment (if that ever comes) but I feel these experiences have shaped you to appreciate and understand love on a much deeper level than most people (married or not). I am sure when you find her and you communicate your sexual needs to her, she will reciprocate. You will have the time to make up for lost time and enjoy a satisfying sex life and each other. I think one of the keys to doing those things is to set time aside just for the two of you even if you need to schedule it in. As someone once told me, “if x is a priority, you will make time for it.” In my own life, I struggle to relax due to having the need to always be doing something and rightfully so but I realize that I am not a machine and need to set aside some Chris time.
  19. Getting ghosted

    I also think he was ghosting you too. A sign that he wanted to take the relationship a step further was asking you to come to his hotel room. Usually, when a guy asks you to come to his hotel room, it usually is not just to hang out but to have sex too. His reaction after you told him no to his asking you to come to the hotel room tells me he wanted more from the relationship (e.g.”he kinda murmured under his breathe what did I think would happen”. In addition, the fact that the relationship between him and you appeared to go up to second base and then him asking you to come to the hotel room made me think he was hoping to go to home base. When you didn’t give what he wanted (sex), he decided to ghost you. I feel like he should have told you straight up what he wants or his expectations for the relationship but he apparently doesn’t feel comfortable doing it. I would forget about him and move on. You want a guy who will respect your boundaries and your decision to wait and communicate what he wants in the relationship directly to you and not play mind games.
  20. Well, I think your quote is deep and would have to agree with it. Sometimes, the sweetest moment in life come from many moments of defeat. While my romantic and emotional self would want to believe in fairytale endings, my logical brain would say that is not always the case. Sometimes, you need to date or get to know a few frogs before you found your princess. I read a story about a couple who meet, fell in love, married, and both are happy in their relationship. They married later in life and when the interviewer asked them why it took them a long time to meet their spouse, the husband said that both of them went through moments of pain and anguish during dating before meeting each other. He said that he wouldn’t change a thing. I will be honest: I would be happy as a clam if I meet my future wife tommorow but I realize that may not be the case. I know what it is like to have pain come from a previous relationship so in the meantime, I plan on working on myself and make myself strong in areas that would potentially be important to my future relationship with my wife.
  21. Is it possible to wait till marriage for a male?

    Yes, it is possible. You can choose to leave the situation and commit yourself to a different choice. WTM is challenging. I think challenges stem from the influence of our sex saturated culture today and the idea of instant gratification. That being said: is WTM worth it? I think so but in those moments where weakness comes in it is good to have a support group that knows your struggles.
  22. Does your family know?

    My sister knows that I am waiting but my parents don’t know. I received sex education in school and taught about it in church but unfortunately, we never talk about sex at home. It was something that was never brought up. If I ever have children, I want to talk about sex with them.
  23. 1) I would probably say one year minimum for engagement. This would give my fiancé and me time to plan the wedding and any logistics with it; in addition to give us breathing room in case something unexpected occurs. 2) One to two years dating before proposal. I think this would give my girlfriend and me time to determine if we are compatible with each other. Plus, there was a study conducted by Penn State called The Pair Project that followed 168 couples over 14 years and charted each couple’s relationship satisfaction through. The study concluded that couples who date an average of 25 months before marriage were most happily married after conclusion of study.
  24. Female Body Hair

    Yes, I could accept her in her natural state. I think hair on a woman is normal.
  25. Would you buy tampons and/or pads

    I wouldn’t mind getting my girlfriend/wife those female necessaries especially if it is an emergency.