Sophie

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Everything posted by Sophie

  1. I really don't think there is "tension growing" between virgins and non-virgins on this forum. On this thread there was some, but I haven't seen any anywhere else. Maybe I'm just missing it? And you're right, people are allowed to have preferences. You are far from the only person on this site who will only marry a virgin. The majority here want to either marry a virgin or someone who is now celibate and WTM. I personally don't care, but most here do. You are definitely not alone in that. I think it is understandable if a non-virgin, waiter or not, was a bit offended to hear you will only marry a virgin, but that is your choice to make and like you said, you are not treating anyone poorly.
  2. Ladies, when you're walking down the aisle....

    I'm glad to hear that! I am surprised that so many girls here have had fathers who didn't do their job well at all. Proof that girls with "daddy issues" don't necessarily become strippers or go into porn.
  3. It depends on the traditions. If a tradition was that the wife should never work outside the home and do all the cooking and cleaning, no way in hell would I blend into that aspect of the culture. There are certain aspects of all cultures that I love - I love the politeness of the Asian culture and the value of history and education, but I love Western culture's value of individual independence and freedom. I couldn't assimilate into another culture, because there are too many things I love about Western culture - how independence is incredibly important, even from your family, equal rights for both genders, and the abolishing of forcing gender roles. I also love Western music (entertainment in general.) I think because I have learned so much about the Japanese culture at a very young age, I would not find it so foreign and strange. I really like certain parts of it (like how it values cuteness, the "kawaii culture.") But ultimately I would like to keep my Western culture. It is not perfect, but no culture is.
  4. Ladies, when you're walking down the aisle....

    The problem is in my case, my father was not my protector. For the vast majority of my teen years - really up until I was 19 - I always doubted that I had unconditional love from him. When I was a teen, he did not do his job as a father. I was hurt, but now I am disappointed. I would rather my mother walk me down the isle, but seeing as I am Jewish, it is not at all uncommon for both parents to walk their daughter down the isle. I will definitely ask both parents to do it. I'm not sure my father has earned the right to do it by himself. He loves me, and he was a great father when I was a child, but something happened and he began to feel like a stranger to me.
  5. Legs???

    Nope! Never once in my entire life - and I went to an all-girls school for 12 years and only ever had female friends - have I ever heard a girl commenting on a guy's legs. Arms, chest, hair, face, all yes. But legs? I have never heard girls express any opinion whatsoever on them. I personally couldn't care less. I've never even thought about it.
  6. Sports?

    I started playing softball in 2000 and didn't quit until I graduated high school and moved to the other side of the country. I started soccer in 1999 but hated it and my parents finally let me quit when I was 13 or so. But I enjoyed softball and I was the best pitcher in the league. I was forced to go to tennis camp every summer (not a sleep-over camp though,) which I hated. Even though my tennis got quite good, I hated it as much as I hated soccer. My parents also signed me up for field hockey which I despised most of all. Also, I willingly played badminton for 3 years on the school team. I absolutely loved it! Badminton was the only sport I ever willingly chose to start playing, although I had a blast with softball. Sports I have played Soccer Field Hockey Softball Tennis Badminton I think my parents wanted a son...
  7. Mini Rant: SO MAD at modern feminism

    Love this!!!!
  8. Final Exams

    I had 3 exams and I finished them on the 23rd. I am confident with my German exam, and feeling relatively good about the other two. I know I didn't fail.
  9. I know that there's Catholic, Lutheran, Mormon...something like that. I definitely know Catholic. But do denominations believe different things or something? So different that there need to be different groups? Are the churches different? Does one follow the old bible and one follows the new one? How do denominations work exactly? And just out of curiosity, which denomination are you? Would you marry someone who is not from your denomination?
  10. Don't be embarrassed!!! I'm not saving my first kiss for marriage but I am saving it for the first time I fall in love. So a guy might have to date me for like 2 months before we kiss.
  11. What is your career?

    ah, youth.
  12. Interracial Dating

    I'm not surprised if people are more attracted to those that look similar. I think it's a natural human instinct. That's why bullying is so common. People who are bullied are different, so they are teased for it. I would never call it racist if someone is more attracted, or only attracted, to their own race. It only becomes an issue when it judges who they become friends with, etc. I personally am more attracted to Japanese guys than Caucasian guys cuz I got into anime, manga, and J-Pop when I was very young. XD I had such a crush on Teppei Koike when I was 14. lol.
  13. I'm an Atheist. I don't mind if my husband is Agnostic, but I would want to raise our children as Atheists. He'd have to be okay with that. It's unlikely he would be if he believed strongly in God. My dad raised me as an Atheist, and my mom did subtly try to introduce me to the idea of God, she did so through Christianity which I wanted nothing to do with (I'm Jewish,) and I was way too stubborn in my mind-set to believe in God. She was upset at my dad but I don't think they had a real fight over it or anything. Still, I don't want to be in a situation like that. My mom agreed to raise me mostly Jewish, but she wasn't happy about the whole Atheist thing. And I bet my dad would have been very unhappy if I believed in God. I think when it comes to children, parents should have the exact same idea of how religious, or not religious, they want their children to be. I have Jewish cousins who married Christians, but their children are being raised 100% Jewish. The spouses don't care at all and are very involved in Judaism. But I think that is kind of rare. I don't want any conflicts over how to raise our children. So to be safe, I think I would just marry an Atheist or Agnostic.
  14. I agree with what you said. I have never seen any evidence on this forum that virgin waiters don't think non-virgin waiters are as good as they are. I usually see stuff along the lines of, "good for you! I'm glad you've made this decision. Good luck." I'm read all the comments on this thread and I don't see anything that disrespects "reclaimed virgins." Whatever negative opinions were spoken here were merely about the term reclaimed virgin. Not the actual people themselves. I think some people just misunderstood, or didn't read all those supportive quotes that you found. The fact of the matter is, there are a lot of controversial things discussed on this forum. One of them being that a small majority of people here will only marry a virgin, no exceptions, and an equal (possibly larger) will only date a non-virgin if they have fully committed to WTM of their own free will and/or strongly regret their sexual past and are more than willing to be celibate until marriage. Or no one is willing to date or marry outside of their religion. Or some guys will insist on their wife changing her last name (now this was hard for me to swallow.) Yeah, there's a lot of controversy here, but that's what happens on all forums. I find that this is a way more positive environment than the vast majority of forums I have chatted on. Difference of opinion can't be avoided. But as I said earlier, I saw no evidence of anyone looking down on non-virgin waiters. I've never seen that on this forum ever. Nor have I seen people bashing non-virgins who aren't waiting.
  15. Very true. Labels like "virgin," and "non-virgin" only cause shame for being one or the other, or causes pressure to have sex or avoid having sex. In these modern days, virginity, or a lack of virginity, is a huge part of someone's identity. That's very unfortunate, and it just results in virgin-shaming and slut-shaming. But seeing as the word "virgin" has been around since the bible, I doubt these terms will ever go away.
  16. We are not at all judging those who didn't wait, and then chose to. If anything, we really respect people like that and we're really glad they chose this path. Most of us, if not all, couldn't care less if a non-virgin is waiting. What most of us don't like are the terms "reclaimed virgin" and "born-again virgin" because we all firmly believe (and let's face it, it's completely true) that virginity can't come back. Ever. Not even after 50 years of celibacy. We're not saying that makes the person wrong. No way are we saying that. We are saying that makes the terms wrong. They're very inaccurate. They make no more sense than a virgin saying, "I had sex in a dream last night so I'm not a virgin anymore." But again, we really respect those who make the decision to wait later on in life, and we don't judge them. We are strictly talking about the words "reclaimed virgin" and "born-again virgin." That is all. I genuinely believe no one on this forum was speaking out against people who have become celibate, and no offense or judgement was intended. This is a very supportive forum, and I am sorry if this thread hurt your feelings. There have been threads that have offended me as well on certain topics (different than this one,) but difference of opinion is always present here and it is hard not to get into an argument with a member at least once. That's very normal (happened to me like 10 times so far. lol.)
  17. Mini Rant: SO MAD at modern feminism

    It's true that in America, Canada, and many other countries, patriarchy's role has diminished a lot (only took several thousand years.) Not to say that patriarchy is gone, though, but it poses no real threat to women (from what I have observed. Like does it really matter if Canada has more men in the government than women?) But you can't say that patriarchy is gone from the world. Just look at the Arab countries like Saudi Arabia. Or maybe you think that's how society should be? I still can't figure out if you think women should be equal to men or not. Or if men were meant to be the "superior" gender. And you just hate feminism because you hate that women are more-or-less equal now.
  18. Mini Rant: SO MAD at modern feminism

    Are you saying that women being equal makes for a terrible society? You think men should be the only ones with rights or something? Again, I am not pro-modern feminism, but Catharine MacKinnon has more than a few screws loose. Also Catharine is a famous feminist. A famous radical feminist. But still one of the most famous ones out there.
  19. Agree 100%. And I've been wondering for a while now...what does your username stand for?
  20. Mini Rant: SO MAD at modern feminism

    I am not saying I don't like modern feminists, I'm saying modern feminism bothers me. But the feminism you're explaining is not modern. I think that's first wave, or was that the right to vote? Well one of the waves of feminism involved working and equal pay, and it wasn't modern feminism. I think the first wave of feminism and second wave was great. Much needed.
  21. Mini Rant: SO MAD at modern feminism

    Yeah but you said it in a really bad way. And it's not like I think all modern feminism is bad. I hate the sexual aspect of it, and the femmephobia, and the misandry, but we're closer to being equal now than ever, ever before. Debatably, in a lot of countries, we have achieved equality. Or as close as possible. Modern feminism has done a ton of good for women, and I am very grateful for certain parts of it, but it is definitely doing damage as well.
  22. I wouldn't like getting kissed on my neck. I'm not at all ticklish or anything, I just really hate people touching my neck. I'd be fine with lips, cheek, nose...
  23. Chivalry: Appreciated or sexist?

    It's not bad. Trying to get laid or just wanting bragging rights for getting a pretty girl out on a date is bad cuz it can hurt her feelings. You are obviously not trying to get laid. lol. And besides, when someone is romantically attracted to someone, they will do acts of kindness not for selfless reasons, but out of the hope that the person will notice them. That's very normal. You have to draw attention to yourself somehow or else the person won't notice you.
  24. Chivalry: Appreciated or sexist?

    You have to read the book to understand why Maya was being unfair. Long story short, dozens of bad guys want her and her friends because they are successful experiments for psychic powers. Maya, like a lot of girls in teen novels, completely reject the notion of needing male protection. Yet they never care if a female friend, or sister insists on helping them and keeping them safe. Now obviously they are mostly entirely fictional situations with psychic powers/werewolves/vampires/witches/aliens, etc, but no one, male or female, can stand alone against evil or corruption. Getting help is always a blessing. But for some reason, it is seen as bad/old-fashioned/anti-feminist when a guy helps a girl. So are girls capable of rescuing themselves? It depends on the situation. All I know is, if a girl is in a situation where self-rescue is not an option, who cares what gender rescues her? And it doesn't make her weak or fragile to admit she needs help. So I do think chivalry is now, unfortunately, considered sexist (in western societies.) Cuz people are starting to lump chivalry and misogyny in together. But they couldn't be more different.
  25. Chivalry: Appreciated or sexist?

    I think the problem is that so many women these days (and probably back as early as the sixties as well,) are taught to be "modern women." To be self-sufficient, independent, opinionated, strong...so we are basically taught to not only reject chauvinism but to call basically anything misogyny (like if a boyfriend is healthfully protective.) I read dozens and dozens and dozens of teen novels a year and it is a total re-accuring theme: Guy: "I will do anything I can to protect you." Girl: "I don't need your protection!" Guy: "But I love you, I just want to help keep you safe." Girl: "Was is this, the middle ages? I can take care of myself!" One character, Maya Delaney, even told her brother to "go back to the nineteenth century where you belong," or something to that affect, when he said that he hoped Daniel would keep her safe from the bad guys. When in a relationship, YOU PROTECT EACH OTHER. Same with siblings, friends, family...but in teen novels (and I'm sure in adult novels as well,) girls frequently reject the protection of their boyfriend/brother/male cousin because they think it's old-fashioned or whatever.