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Everything posted by Sophie

  1. Yes. That has happened with me before with a friend. 10 months later our...monthly afflication...couldn't be further apart. 3 weeks apart now.
  2. BREAK IT OFF. I would never want to date someone who would even consider an open relationship.
  3. I asked this question before but I think it was over a year ago. Now with all the new members, I would love to hear new opinions. Would you be willing to move abroad to your partner? Would you be more willing if you we're married? I personally would not move abroad, unless it was to America (unless we have children.) I used to think moving abroad would be exciting and a great experience, but after a shaky (but exciting) month in Germany in June (but a great 5 days in Switzerland,) I am not sure if I could live abroad. Culture shock added with a language barrier (even though I am very conversant in German) is very overwhelming. It also makes things so much more difficult when the people are so different. Everyone was so different in Germany and somewhat different in Switzerland. So now I would be very reluctant to permanently leave Canada. I would be slightly more open-minded if the country's native language is English. I wouldn't be opposed to moving temporarily, but not for a long period of time. What about you?
  4. Why is virginity so important to you?

    I can totally see why a guy who is WTM, especially one who is a virgin, would want his wife to be a virgin. But I do find it horribly hypocritical when a guy who has had sex, especially if he is a player or has had several sex partners, looks for virginity in a woman he wants to marry. Most women who are virgins (definitely those WTM) usually are virgins because they strongly value sex, love, and relationships. Who wouldn't want that?
  5. It hasn't happened yet, but I'm sure it will. I don't have to tell my friends I'm a virgin. They all know. I mean, I am ridiculously innocent, seriously. Even by WTM standards.
  6. Sort of. Twice. A drunken guy (pretty sure he was a student) asked if I wanted to come home with him. Then during the summer after my first year a man offered to PAY me for sex. I was wearing an ankle-length skirt and my sleeves reached my elbows. I was so surprised. This man looked very fit, healthy, and I'm pretty sure he had just come back from the gym. Going to an all girls school for 12 years plus girl guides for 12 years plus all-girls sports teams for 11 years and girls-only camps does not leave room for finding guys! lol. But up until age 17 or so I barely noticed them. Still don't. I am 20 now and I am still uninterested in dating, which may be a little odd and I am beginning to worry that I will never want to date. Edit: Just realized I answered this question over a year ago! lol.
  7. Every country is different from each other - the culture, the values, the food, the entertainment, the history, the media, sometimes even the language, race, and clothing. 1. What is it like to WTM in your country? 2. How does your country view sex, virginity, and WTM? 3. What aspects of your country make it difficult to wait? 4. What is the sex culture in your country? The WTM community in my country (Canada) is very small. Canada is not a religious country so you want hear many people talk about how pre-marital sex is a "sin." Birth control, all forms, are widely available and we have Youth Clinics which provide free birth control to anyone who is sexually active age 13-22 (although they do get 12-year-olds kids sometimes.) The birth control pill is not at all controversial in Canada - they are in all Youth Clinics, and all pharmacies. Because Canada is so close to America, we can't help but get influenced by them a lot. Teenage sex isn't taboo here, but teenagers are highly encouraged to wait until they are in love, and at least 16. Abstinence-only education is VERY rare here. There are schools for teenage moms. We have tons of slut-shamers and tons of virgin-shamers. WTM is quite rare, and often no one even knows it is still a possibility. We have less WTM than America due to the fact that we are much less religious, but less sexually-active teens. Being a 19-year-old virgin (my age) in Canada is not common, but it is not a rarity either. Edit: while prostitution is legal in Canada, we have NO brothels. Prostitution businesses are not allowed - only selling yourself on the street is.
  8. I once asked someone this question and they answered "hormones." But I really disagreed with that. I don't think hormones play a big part in how insanely common pre-marital sex is now. My theory is that back when WTM was the norm, there was severe shaming on anyone who did otherwise. Particularily on women, which went to incredible extremes such as stoning (and still does, sadly.) WTM was more enforced than chosen. Using religion and shaming. Now people look back at that and are horrified, so they think WTM is not a good thing. And of course the media, but you can't blame it for everything. The media wouldn't have so much pre-marital sex if it weren't the social norm. Any other ideas?
  9. There is a blog called Feministing which I absolutely hate. And I read an article of theirs that reminded me why. It was about the "feminist" female characters in Game of Thrones. Here is the sentence: But Cersei rejects these misogynistic values, recognizing that a woman’s best weapon is “the one between your legs." ARG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I despise that sentence because it embodies everything that modern feminism believes: a woman's best weapon, her symbol of strength, is her vagina, and it is empowering to spread your legs to numerous men, have tons of casual sex because that makes you a "free, modern woman," and having tons of one-night stands exerts your power over the male race. Modern feminism is SO. MESSED. UP. And what's worse is that it kinda makes me feel like I am being a "bad" modern woman. Like, if I'm not exploring my sexuality, hooking up, and "dominating" men, that means I can't be a strong, 21st century woman. I'm not empowered. It sometimes makes me feel that way. Cuz that is exactly what modern feminism is telling women who are virgins, WTM, or only have sex in loving relationships. Does anyone else feel this way?
  10. I bite my nails. Now, lots of people say that. But they usually mean "nibble," or "lightly pick." No, I bite my nails, chew them down to the core, and pick at them too. It's horrible. My fingernails look thoroughly gnawed. I have been biting my nails since I was a toddler and only stopped for about a month in grade 8 or so. This is not a behavioral thing: I can be very happy and relaxed and I'll still chew my nails, not just when I'm nervous or upset. But I'm not trying to quit. No one dies from a nail-biting/picking habit. Plus, it would be weird to have long, evenly-layered nails. I also pick at the skin on my lower lip. It makes my lower lip look very chapped and dry. That habit isn't really a safe one, seeing as it can leave scarring. Again, it is not triggered by any emotion. I just do it. I think it is because of my AD(H)D. Sorry if that was a bit gross.
  11. I made a list of teen novels with independent heroines that did not engage in pre-marital sex before the age of 18, but I decided to make a list of teen novels that go even more conservative: waiting until marriage. If you know of any other teen novels that have WTM, please let me know so I can add it to the list! Model - this is a hilariously wonderful autobiography of the most awesome 16-year-old girl Cheryl Diamond, a model in NYC and a girl who is waiting until marriage. This book made me decide to wait until marriage, because Cheryl ROCKS. Anyways, Cheryl is an incredibly independent, confident, wise adolescent girl with a quick mind and a stubborn sense of humour. She is hardly the type of model to starve herself - she is very responsible, and exemplifies what modern girls should be like (in my opinion.) Twilight - Bella waited until marriage, and while many people don't like this series, it HAS encouraged teen girls to wait (I know two of them.) So yes, there is sex, but she is 18, almost 19, and married. And it was Edward who wanted to wait until marriage, so this series shows that it is not just women who value sex: men do, too. I was ecstatic when Stephenie Meyer dared to put WTM in one of the most popular teen series in the world. Distant Waves - I adore the main character of this novel, Jane Taylor. It takes place during the Titanic. It is a wonderful novel, it has a touching romance, but Jane is 19 and still a virgin in the Epilogue (although she would have lost it at 17 if she had the chance to marry...well, I won't spoil it.) Jane is such a strong girl for her time - all her siblings are. Pure - this book is about a group of 15-year-old friends who have sworn to wait until marriage before having sex (for religious reasons, mostly.) Well...Cara breaks this promise and sleeps with her boyfriend. Should her friends completely shun her, or accept her decision and continue to consider her a part of their friendship? It touches so much on the topic of pre-marital sex and waiting until marriage. Cara does decide to have pre-marital sex, but none of the other characters change their minds on this. This novel talks about the consequences of pre-marital sex, as well as the importance of accepting your friends and forgiving them for their mistakes. It has quite a bit of religious undertone, but it is not preachy at all. Pride and Prejudice - okay, arguably not a teen novel but I read it at 14 and loved it. It takes place in the 1700's, so naturally there is no premarital sex for our awesome twenty-year-old heroine, Elizabeth Bennett. The romance is handled very tastefully, and yet it is still one of the most beloved romance novels in English literature. All novels by Jane Austen do not contain pre-marital sex, I believe. So I am recommending all her novels! Infernal Devices- this Trilogy is actually the "prequel" for The Mortal Instruments, but it was published afterwards so there is no specific order you have to read it in. The series has yet to be completed, but seeing as it takes place in the 1800's with a conservative (but very strong and talented) heroine, I highly doubt there will be any sex. Anyone who is fascinated with 19th Century London, Alchemy, and Steampunk will love this series! Not to mention the awesome characters. Warning: I am merely assuming there will be no pre-marital sex because it takes place in the Victorian Era. Unearthly - This is, I believe, a Trilogy. It is a stunning story about Heaven, Nephilims...and some wonderful creative twists thrown in by the author. This is one of the most beautiful angel books I have ever read. And get this: it is the male who wants to wait until marriage, not the girl. He just doesn't feel comfortable with pre-marital sex, and I was upset when she pressured him. It doesn't seem like there's going to be any sex in this series. The main character is 17, and (I think) has recently graduated grade twelve at the end of the second book. If underage sex does happen in the last novel, I will remove this series from the list. The Dark Divine - I absolutely adore this epic trilogy. Want to guess why? Not only does it have an awesome werewolf story, but the main character is waiting until marriage before having sex. Not only does her boyfriend, Daniel, support this, but they both agreed not to get married until graduation from university. There are Christian undertones to this book because the Divine family is very Christian, and the father is even a pastor. It speaks about the true importance of forgiveness, and the importance of family. But you definitely do not have to be Christian to love this series, or even have any religion. Any fan of paranormal stories will love The Dark Divine. The Virginity Club - In Ardsmore High School, a teacher named Ms. Treemont dies, leaving behind a very generous scholarship that will go to a student who must "exemplify purity of soul, spirit, and body." A Virginity Club is formed by a fellow student to help encourage the other students to remain abstinent. I won't lie: there is pre-marital sex in this story, but two of the characters are 18 at the time. Also there is waiting until marriage, and also waiting until true love in university. And the characters who do decide to WTM decide not to marry until they have graduated university. Jessica's Guide to Dating on the Dark Side - this is a vampire series that was released in the height of the Twilight era. The seventeen-year-old, unkissed main character, Jessica, has always known that she was adopted and that her real name is Anastasia...what she doesn't know is that her parents were acually vampires, she is a vampire princess, and her vampire fiancé Lucius has come to her town to whisk her away to Romania. Jessica and Lucius do not engage in sex until she is eighteen and they are married.
  12. In Maryland, the measure passed 52 percent to 48 percent. In Maine, voters supported the proposal 53 percent to 47 percent, with 75 percent of precincts reporting. And in Washington, a gay marriage measure was approved 52 percent to 48 percent. Voters in Minnesota rejected a proposal that would have defined marriage solely as a heterosexual union. The constitutional amendment failed 48 percent to 52 percent. I am just wondering about your opinions on this huge step towards gay and lesbian rights in America. I, personally, am ecstatic about it. I am very happy for all the gay couples who can now get married. I think it's absolutely wonderful and I look forward to the day when gay marriage is legal everywhere in America (and maybe possibly the whole world? It has to happen at some point.) I've always thought it was incredibly tragic that two people of the same gender who love each other as deeply and madly as straight couples can love each other are unable to share there love in arguably the most meaningful way - marriage. I always thought it was very sad that they are told that their love doesn't matter, because they are man-man or woman-woman and therefore not worthy of marriage. I also feel like this is going to be a positive influence for the rest of the world because America is debatably the most influential country on Earth - I think this will spark demands for legalizing gay marriage in other countries, as well as other States. But I am most likely a minority on this website when it comes to being an avid supporter of gay rights. What are your thoughts and opinions on this?
  13. Ladies, would you lie to spare a BF's feelings?

    Why lie? I AM a virgin. But if I wasn't, I wouldn't lie about it. This isn't the stone ages - most guys don't require virginity in a woman, although I don't think most guys would be perfectly okay with their girlfriend having been around the block, if you know what I mean. Let's say I had no intention of WTM, I still would never have casual sex. But hypothetically if I am feeling rather vulnerable one day and a bit intoxicated (in real life I never touch alcohol,) and I had a one-night stand, I may lie about it. I think I'd be more likely to rob a store then get drunk and have a one-night stand, but I digress. Even hypothetical-me could never soberly choose to have a one-night stand. Hypothetical-me would be really furious at herself. So yeah, she may lie about it. Not because she's worried about being dumped but because it makes it a reality.
  14. An atheist with an odd feeling

    An atheist would never even consider believing in God, or any sort of religion. They wouldn't question if religion is true or not. But that's exactly what an agnostic does. Perhaps they don't believe, but they question if they are right or not, and vice versa. They do not write off religion completely, which is what atheists do. So just saying, you can't be an atheist. But you did write, "I'm not conflicted in my belief that there are no gods, that I am sure of." That is very atheist. Truthfully I don't understand what you are trying to say. I'm an atheist, and I've never lacked morals or found them hard to find. But sometimes I can see why so many people believe in God. In the dark/scary/cold moments of your life when you feel alone, it's nice to believe that someone is looking out for you and will protect you. So even though I am an atheist I totally get the allure of religion. it's nice to think, "my future looks pretty bleak, maybe God will hear my prayers and help," instead of thinking, "my future looks pretty bleak, gotta suck it up and deal with it the best I can." Is that sort of what you meant?
  15. refered to as a dating site?

    Clearly they didn't do their research, but why is WTM "wacky"?
  16. To those with autism

    I have autism AND ADD as well. I'm sorry, but I have no real tips to meet people "in real life." I am quite bad at it. All the friends I made in my childhood were from Girl Guides, soccer, and theater camp, so I would say that joining clubs is a very good way to meet people. I only made one true good friend in school. Now I am in university, and it is a LOT tougher. However, I have made one good friend in university. Any time I sit down next to someone new in class, or vice versa, I talk to them. That is how I became friends with Em. I don't remember who sat next to who though, but it worked! I made some temporary friends in first year by doing the same thing. But I'm not sure if you're in university. For me, making friends is hard, but keeping them is harder. 4 of my friends completely shut me out after first year, and I lost a lot of great childhood friends (two of them were because of my autism.) I just try to talk to the people in my class (not really possible in large classes) and hope that I click with one of them. So far I have only stayed friends with Em, but that alone is a huge accomplishment for me. My advice: join a club/clubs, talk to the people sitting next to you in class, try to engage in conversations in class to find mutual interests I hate socializing, but probably because I am so bad at it and I know people can sense that something is off about me. I hate having asperger's, and at the same time I can't imagine my life without it. Having autism is scary. I don't even know if I will be able to have sex, seeing as my body rejects physical contact with other humans (including my own mother and sometimes my dad.) I really like being alone, so I have never had any desire for a romantic relationship, even though I am 20. I may not even be able to be in a platonic relationship because I need lots of alone-time. I don't know what the future will hold for me in terms of romantic relationships. So I am very concerned about that. No one has labelled me "retarded" or "stupid." But I am very high-functioning so no one has guessed so far that I have autism (I think.) but sometimes I make the mistake of telling people I have it, and they become uncomfortable and end up shutting me out of their lives. Now I am very hesitant to tell people about it, even though I am not at all ashamed of it.
  17. "Virgin" as an insult

    I have never understood virgin-shaming. Like there is something wrong with not being at the risk of STDs, pregnancy, being objectified, etc? I think it all comes down to conformity. Around 45% of teenagers have sex by the time they graduate high school. That is a large average. And the media makes it seem like it's 80% (ha!). Anyways, this world is all about conformity. If only 10% of people have sex by graduation, then virgin-shaming would be almost non-existant.
  18. When I read this comment, I thought "can envincebal read my thoughts or something?" this is practically identical to what I wanted to write. Seriously, I had to double-check he wrote it cuz I thought "maybe I wrote this very late at night and was too tired to remember?" Bottom line: the guy slapped you. When a guy is physically violent with you, cut him out of your life. FOREVER. Plus, you kicked him in the stomach. I don't think it's normal to kick someone you "love" in the stomach. If you were able to act violently against him, that's probably your mind and body telling you that you don't love him and he is bad news.
  19. Not to mention the fact that many kids who are raised by gay parents still have a relationship with their biological mother and/or father. I have so far met 6 kids raised by gay parents. 3 by mothers and 3 by fathers. All 3 who had two dads still knew their biological mom and she played a role in their life. They called her "mom" and sometimes stayed with her. One of the kids who was raised by two moms is very, very close to her dad, who is the best friend of one of the moms. She stays with him every weekend. The other kid raised by two moms isn't close to his dad cuz he lives in another country, but he visits his dad a couple of times a year. The other child was adopted from China, so no contact with his biological dad. Anyways, this is not an uncommon scenerio. Having two dads doesn't necessarily mean having no mother, and vice versa.
  20. On a more positive note, I recently learned that gay marriage is now legal in 14 states (well 12, the law has passed in the other 2 but hasn't taken effect yet.) Also in 5 tribal jurisdictions. Yes, 14/50 seems rather bleek. But several years ago that number was just 4. I have hope.
  21. To all of you who are against gay marriage, think gays are sinning, thing gays make awful parents, or whatever. Please watch this video. The WHOLE thing. I just get the impression here that too many people on this site do not understand the extent of bullying and torture gays go through. And how attrocious it is that they do NOT have equal rights. Just watch the video. I think the whole world should watch this video. I do feel very blessed to live in a country that has embraced gay marriage (Canada,) but it still hurts me to see how cruelly gays are treated and how their right to marry is constantly shot down in the US. And that people still think gays shouldn't be parents. I can't imagine how that must feel. "Awful" probably doesn't even begin to cover it.
  22. Does WTM lead to rushed marriages?

    I think WTM can definitely, without a doubt, lead to rushed marriages. These are usually done by young people - highschool graduates and university students. These people have tons of hormones and their whole lives ahead of them. They think they have nothing to lose. Chances are they'll get divorced, and they probably won't WTM again.
  23. The word "chick"

    chick can be meant in a harmless way. Like "you're a pretty cool chick." But it can also be used in a derogatory way. It's just one of those words that can mean good or bad, depending on the tone of voice of who's saying it.
  24. I've seen it in movies, television; read it in books; seen it in plays; experienced it with celebrity and fictional crushes...what is it about bad boys that girls just love? In the media, there is the stereotype that bad boys are always very attractive, but in real life I find they come in all different physical appearances, so I don't think looks are a huge contributing factor. Why do we females have a tendency to swoon after the bad boys, and friend-zone the good guys? of course, I am just speaking on average here.
  25. This isn't a topic I have thought much about so I don't know what to say for myself. I hope I will be the type of wife whose husband WANTS to return home to her, and whose children aren't embarrassed to introduce to their friends.