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Everything posted by Sophie

  1. Yeah, I could do it. I don't think I am asexual but I don't think I have to have sex. Well no one HAS to have it, but you know what I mean. I think I could be perfectly happy and content in a sexless relationship. Cuddling + kissing would be enough for me!
  2. Any religion that isn't Christian is anti-Christian.
  3. Well first of all, they're atheists, so they don't believe in hell. Therefore they don't ACTUALLY think hell will be awesome cuz they don't believe in it. I'm an atheist too and like most atheists, I get frustrated with religion sometimes. I've never said stuff like that before but most likely they did so because they believe religion is all made up so "hey, let's make up stuff too: hell is an awesome place, we'll rule it, etc." They don't genuinely believe that at all. Atheists (probably especially those in religious countries,) can feel incredibly suffocated by religion. It's easy to become bitter about it and we can end up saying offensive things out of frustration that are meant to be a joke. But hey, we get told we need "saving" and are "going to Hell" and get questions like "if you're an atheist, how come you're such a good person?" So yeah...hurtful stuff works both ways here.
  4. Well I'm 20 so not a problem for me yet. But if I am still single by the age of 30 I am going to start looking into adoption and I will definitely adopt a child if I am still single by age 35. I want to have kids. And if I have to do it alone, so be it. But of course I would love to have a husband in there somewhere!
  5. Recommended TV shows?

    Aside from Community, I haven't gotten into any new TV shows lately. Can anyone recommend some to me? I love crime shows and comedies. My favourites are Castle, Bones, Friends, and Frasier. I also love Community and Modern Family. I don't like soap operas or sci-fi or shows solely revolving around romance (except Sex and the City.) Thank you!
  6. I have gotten hit on by much older men before. They seem to like the really curvy types of women, rather than the slender curves that young men prefer. A random stranger on the street once offered me $250 to have sex with him. Just want to add that I was wearing an ankle-length skirt and my sleeves went down to my elbows so I was dressed very modestly. That man looked like he was in his thirties, but usually the guys who hit on me aren't just older, but OLD. Like 50+. This hasn't happened often, but when it does, I am completely innocent to it until a friend or mother says to me, "Uh, Sophie...that man was flirting with you." I think it's because I am young but very mature and I socialize great with adults. I HATE the fact that I am a size 12, but as long as I don't have any acne on my face, I am beautiful in a too-curvy sort of way.
  7. Nope, no kissing for fun for me! I'd only kiss a guy who was special to me.
  8. What do you look like?

    I really am curious to see what all the waiters on this site look like. This is because I was insecure that no guy would be willing to wait for me because of my weight. I DO plan on loosing 12-15lbs over the summer (which I'm sure I can do with perseverance,) so hopefully my weight will no longer be an issue for me. But that got me thinking, "Have other Waiters felt like they couldn't WTM because they were 'unattractive'?" I am pasting the same thread in "Ask the Girls" and "Ask the Guys." Feel free to make comments on both threads, but don't say your physical description in "Ask the Guys" if you're a girl, and vise versa. So, my question to you is this: 1.What do you look like, and 2. Have insecurities over your looks made you think that maybe you shouldn't WTM in case no one wants to marry you or date you? 1. I am a size twelve, but too much of my weight is around my stomach so I'm not an attractive size 12. I have a beautiful face (when I don't have acne,) and really pretty dark brown, curly, long hair. Everyone tells me I am a very beautiful/pretty girl and I DO believe them as long as I have NO acne. Acne is the bane of my existence (but it's never on my cheeks and usually not on my forehead. But ALWAYS on the sides of my face and usually even on my chin, under my chin, and under my jaws. Sometimes it almost fades...and then comes back. Grrrr. I stand at 5'3.5", my eyes are moss green (just like the eyes of this weird little girl: http://media-files.g...d96/f3/full.jpg ) My skin is quite pale. And...I think that's it. 2. YES. I have had a lot of insecurity over my looks, and most of it has to do with my acne. I swear that if I had no acne at all, I would feel 75% more beautiful. The other 10% is my stomach, and the rest is my weight. But because I am currently quite insecure about my looks, I am certainly not ready to date yet. One should never start dating until they have complete confidence, I believe, about themselves.
  9. My eyes are green, but it's hard to explain the exact shade. They're like a combination of green, brown, and grey. But ultimately green.
  10. I'm not sure. I think that would be way too painful for me.
  11. Here are some examples: love, friendship, forgiveness, loyalty, family, kindness, honesty, purity, strength, beauty, education, domesticity, peace, honour, courage, etc. Mine are: 1. Loyalty 2. Honesty 3. Strength 4. Peace 5. Virtue 6. Education Don't get me wrong, I value love, kindness, family, friendship...all of those things too! And by strength I do not mean physical strength (like martial arts and fighting in the war,) I mean emotional strength. Like courage - the ability to weather through heartache, pain, fear, etc. Loyalty has always been the most important thing in the world to me. I have never been hurt by a guy before, but I have been hurt by girls who I thought were my friends. Loyalty means so much to me that I think I would find it extremely hard to forgive someone who is unloyal to me. These 6 virtues I live by completely, at all times (friendship and family is implied in Loyalty, and kindness is implied in Peace.) What about you?
  12. Celibacy

    Even before I even toyed with the idea of WTM, I never understood why people thought religious people were dumb and "repressed" for choosing celibacy. To me, that was one of the few things religions got right! lol. Sometimes I'd think, "I wish I was religious so I'd have an excuse not to sleep around." That was back before I realized being an atheist did not equal having to have pre-marital sex.
  13. If you WTM and marry a virgin, I don't see how two virgins can be sexually incompatible! Doesn't sexual incompatibality arise when one partner likes things that the other doesn't and hates things that the other loves to do? I mean if one partner enjoys BDSM and the other partner is mostly vanilla, then yeah, it could be pretty problematic. But if you're both virgins, you have 0 sexual experience, so you learn what you love only through one person - your spouse. Plus, you should talk about sex before you marry. If your partner isn't a virgin, you shouldn't be too embarrassed to ask questions about their sexual past. If you get the feeling that you are not interested in the stuff that they do (like anal sex, or sex in public,) then you can break off the relationship. Communication is key.
  14. I don't care. Before marriage, after marriage, I don't see how it matters as long as you and your partner are in a committed relationship and are living together (which I assume you would be if you make the conscious decision to have children.) As for accidental pregnancies, well that's a whole different matter really. Of course it would be better if accidental pregnancies never happened, but I don't see that slowing down any time soon. It's an unfortunate and complicated situation, especially if you're not in a relationship or your relationship isn't serious. I don't see anything morally wrong with it, but it is a very hard situation to be in for the parents and sometimes it can have a negative affect on the child (but hey, married parents can mess up their child too.)
  15. Does a celebrity count? ;P Cuz otherwise I haven't had a real crush since I was 14.
  16. My Questions to You 1. Do you condone pre-marital sex? 2. Do you view it as a sin? 3. If you are not against it, when do you feel like it is okay? 4. Is premarital sex ever okay? 5. How do you feel about casual sex? How I feel I am 100% okay with premarital sex but only under these conditions: 1. The couple has to be genuinely, truly, and madly in love 2. Ideally they would have waited 1-3 months before starting sex just to make sure that their emotional connection is strong enough, but if it is true love then I suppose it doesn't matter how long you've been together 3. They've cultivated their time together before having sex so they know that their relationship could last forever, or for at least a long time 4. Of course I would prefer if a couple is in a real real relationship before having sex, but if it is true love and the man is being sent off to fight in a war and may never return, or has to move away for company reasons, then...I guess it's okay for them to have sex. Even if it's just once. (I could never do that, because it would make saying goodbye too excruciating.) For me, sex is something you should share with someone whom you deeply love - flaws and all - and with someone who's deeply in love with you - flaws and all. To me, then it's okay to have sex. When your love is that real and strong, why not? Because I feel this way, I am still on the bench about WTM. I mean, what if I don't mean my future-husband until I am 35 but before that, I do find two guys whom I fall very much in love with? Just because we don't end up together, doesn't mean that love wasn't real. And I would hate to miss out on some a spiritual and physical experience with them because I am waiting until marriage (talking about sex here.) And if the love of my life doesn't want to get married because he suffered from a traumatizing divorce of his parents (which I can understand,) am I really willing to lose him? I'm not so sure if I am... To me, sex does not equal love but sex is okay if love (real love) is already there. Also, I am an Atheist, so I am not doing this for religious or spiritual reasons. Casual sex disgusts me. Always has, always will. And my mind will never change on that. I have a friend who has dabbled slightly with casual sex, and that doesn't make me love her any less. But, no matter how open-minded I have tried to be, I just cannot bring myself to even tolerate casual sex.
  17. I am 18 right now and I am waiting to start dating when I am 20. This is because I was raised in an upper-middle-class household. My mom hates cooking, so she took me to fancy restaurants for lunch and/or dinner at least three times a week. My dad is too lazy to cook so he also took me to nice restaurants when I saw him on the weekend. What I'm trying to say is that I need to date a guy who has a good amount of money and can afford nice restaurants (I, of course, am willing to pay for my own food.) If I start dating when I am 20, then I can date guys in their twenties. But of course if I fall for a guy who can only take me out to Subway or MacDonalds, then I'll still like him. So no dating for me until age 20! Unless I happen to meet a guy when I am 19, which is unlikely.
  18. My favourite colour is purple. I also really like pink, but not to wear as clothing or accessories. So definitely purple.
  19. I just can't imagine myself not being a virgin. I'll try to explain: virginity is now such a huge part of me that I feel that if I do have sex, I will lose a big part of who I am. Not saying I want to swear abstinence for the rest of my life (I want children,) but I think that if I lose my virginity, I really will have lost something - a part of who I am. So I'm sort of scared to have sex partly because it'll mean losing a part of myself. Not sure if I am wording this well, but do you understand what I mean? Does anyone else feel this way? I only started feeling this way when I turned 20.
  20. College!

    Are you deaf? If so, this doesn't sound like the right place. You wouldn't want "mediocre" to help you.
  21. Divorce does happen. Falling out of love is painful, confusing, expensive...but quite common. So, my question is this: if you ended up divorcing your spouse (who I am assuming took your virginity) would you wait until marriage again before having sex, or would you have premarital sex seeing as there is no physical "purity" to maintain? I, personally, would not wait until marriage again. This comes down, I think, to me being an atheist and therefore not believing that pre-marital sex is a sin (or even wrong.) I wouldn't have casual sex, or anything even close to casual, but I would have sex with a guy I really loved and who really loved me after we had dated for a good amount of time. This isn't because I think my body is no longer worth as much, but I really doubt I would want to marry again. I would much rather just live with my partner in a common-law marriage. I also have absolutely nothing against children being born out of wedlock, so I would have children with my common-law partner if I wanted to (assuming I am still of fertile age, of course.) What about you?
  22. This might be (okay, it is,) a very controversial topic. But I have always wondered what religious people think about atheism and atheists. I'm an atheist, and I've heard the whole "you'll go to hell" spiel that I never pay any attention to (atheist or not, by coincidence I am probably following the bible better than most - at least in the WTM area,) and the only thing that has ever offended me is "atheists don't have good morals." What do you think about atheism and atheists? How does the religious community in general view them and that theism?
  23. My parents are incredibly frigid when it comes to talking about sex, so I have never had The Talk and I don't know what they think about casual sex. My dad is a very moralistic person so I highly doubt he was into that scene at all, and I think my mom mentioned she did have flings (but she calls it "promiscuous" when you just flirt.) She never elaborated, but I got the feeling it was due to insecurity and peer-pressure. I guess what I'm trying to say is my parents failed epically in the Teach Your Kids About Sex department. Thank god my dad has a super awesome girlfriend who doesn't get upset when I ask questions. Anyways, my parents have had absolutely no influence whatsoever about me considering WTM. However, they were both around 21 or 22 when they lost their virginities (not to each other) and them telling me that influenced me to definitely not have sex before I am 20. I'm still pretty mad at how my parents completely avoided talking to me about sex - they relied on the school and internet to teach me. They are so lucky I am a mature teenager, because I could have made some big mistakes.
  24. But the thing with slut-shaming is that it never actually encourages girls not to sleep around. And if it does, not for the right reason. Slut-shaming says "sleeping around makes you a whore so don't do it," not "you should value your body more and only give it to a man who loves you, and whom you love." Slut-shaming just makes women feel terrible about who they are. And don't forget, virgins get slut-shamed a lot as well! Just for the way they dress, or just because they have had a lot of boyfriends. Slut-shaming isn't reserved just for women to have lots of sex with different guys. Slut-shaming is also bullying. It can really scar a person. My friend has always been slut-shamed just because she is so pretty, and she has only had sex with her boyfriend of 3 years and she doesn't dress provocatively or anything at all. Slut-shaming is just a way to try to control women. The way they dress, their decision to have sex, their choices with their body, etc.