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Everything posted by Yin-Yang

  1. Just in case people might not want to make an account here or want to chat. I want to boost the community here and have a place where people can talk and receive support and ask questions etc. Link never expires. https://discord.gg/WXP296S
  2. I'm curious about something. Along with being a waiter, I am also a vegetarian, a teetotaller, and I will never smoke or do drugs as a personal rule. Do you think being a waiter also makes you prone to abstinence with other things, or is this just me?
  3. I want to die

    I was cheated on by my only friend. I feel disgusted by everyone and isolated from the world. I've been trying to hold on for weeks, but even though I'm strongly christian, I just see nothing here of any value or virtue. Any strangers like me who'd like to talk for a while?

    I had no idea willing virgin wtm males existed 12 hours ago. What's your story?
  5. What about adoption? You can take as long as you want before you adopt. I'm a big advocate of adoption. There aren't enough decent family units out there to take in children in need. Seriously, think about it!
  6. Ummmm.....

    THERE WAS A DISCORD BUT That discord is kind of dead. I'm trying to start a new one! Come join. I would be excited to get some visitors. Maybe we can all try to boost it and get it to become a much more popular thriving group! https://discord.gg/WXP296S
  7. Should I make a discord for us since the chat is down? I'll make it and post the link if anyone agrees. Thought it could be interesting.
  8. I've been talking with a boy for some time now. We aren't in a defined relationship, but we may as well be. I'm a virgin waiter. He's a non virgin waiter. And it hurts. Sometimes this pain gets out of hand. I have panick attacks, I feel alone, I become emotionally distant from him. Obviously I can't always discuss my depression about this with him. I have already, but it's something that at some point you have to stop talking about or it just becomes hurtful to him. He doesn't say so, but I know. So I pretend like nothings wrong, but there seriously is. I don't know what to do. I don't have the strength to leave. I'm the sort of person who only has enough social contacts as necessary to not go insane. One. I'm a recluse with no friends but him. Part of me also very much does like him, genuinely, even if the other part feels disdain, and beyond emotional connection. But sometimes I doubt if I could take this relationship any further with him, because of my secret depression about this, depression that has many times caused me to think of suicide. I feel like I am probably just wasting his time, either because eventually I will have to end the relationship, or we would get married and someday my secret depression would get the better of me and I would kill myself, leaving him alone and confused. I don't think anyone will be able to help me. I hate people anyway.
  9. Random Thoughts

    I want more people to come party in the wtm discord group. It's so dead! https://discordapp.com/channels/313414201546768384/313414201546768384
  10. This is sort of odd, I don't think anybody can help or will have thoughts to add to this, but here goes: You feel like you're dying inside, so you decide to open up to someone. You spill all of the horrible things going on in your head, which is something you hate doing and takes a lot of guts and energy and a LOT of agonizing grief to do. And they just sort of remain quiet or distant. They say they don't know what to say. Maybe they say "aw I'm here for you" or something equally shallow, but then they just go right back to being happy or distracted and no matter how much you sit there and try to explain what's going on, no matter how intense or dire the situation is, you're always met with the same response. This can be a person who is your absolute closest most understanding friend or relative. They can be insisting that they care, but it just doesn't feel like it. It doesn't feel like they're even trying. It's just silence. They don't know what to say. This is after you've already pulled literally every stop you can. It might even be at the point where you're about to completely lose it over their lack of a serious response, that you feel like you're going insane and that you're all alone, and you've told them that. And still they just repeat that they don't know what to say. ...What do you do?
  11. Complicated Situation

    Also I should clarify, I am definitely not attributing my suicidal ideation to his past. It's not like he did anything to me. It's more like, the conflict of staying and being unhappy vs leaving and being unhappy that I don't want to deal with, becomes overwhelming, causes me to think of other issues causing me to be depressed and suicidal, THAT is what starts the spiral. It's not his pasts fault, but I just recognize that it starts this whirlwind and I don't know how to remove myself from it. Hopefully that makes more sense. I can see how I left my original post unclear
  12. Complicated Situation

    I do enjoy being alone. I really do. I dislike people a lot. That's why I have as few contacts as possible. I only like to socialize as much as necessary to not go insane. Its just that that sometimes leads to the problem of me not letting someone go because that means I have to go socialize with new people again which is always a nightmare. Or that I won't have the energy to and I will just isolate myself and rot in my head until I go mad and do something stupid.
  13. "I Don't Know What To Say"

    God, I really love that short. Thank you for sharing that. I think that might help.
  14. Complicated Situation

    I have already been assessed. I take medication and go to therapy. It's been like this for some time now. I am in a place where I am the best I can be. Trust me, I give the same advice to other people. I am not shy about help. I want to do what I can to not be suicidal. Unfortunately despite all of this, despite the fact that I am mentally stable and calm, and that I even go to school, have a job, and have a friend, and that I am by all accounts normal and healthy, I still think about death every day. I just feel lost here. Thanks very much anyway

    Rats. It's pretty dead, eh? Any way we can boost it?
  16. I totally agree. I'm a teetotaler and I am against smoking. Completely impossible seeming to find someone who never does either.
  17. I feel the same. Through my life I've gotten a lot of attention from boys but I never felt like I truely loved any of them. I think my complicated brain makes it impossible. Not that I'm saying I'm smart or anything-I just mean emotionally complicated.
  18. Don't forget Castaway!
  19. I feel your pain so bad. Seriously. I've heard nothing but "get over it" too. I think it's completely absurd. Especially because a lot of those same people telling me to get over it, also are always saying things like "oh I don't wait til marriage to have sex because sex is one of my emotional needs and I need to make sure it will be satisfied." It's hypocrisy, and needlessly cruel. I don't get why people get irritated when someone confesses they have an emotional/spiritual/physical desire to wait to have sex. I'm like, why do you care. They're being virtuous and pure. Why are you encouraging them not to be.
  20. Why not just tell her that you think your beliefs clash and you don't think a relationship with her will give either of you what you really want? She wants one thing, you want another. Break up and you will both be free to go do what you want.
  21. Personally I don't think wanting to be with a virgin, even if you arent one yourself, is a demand. I think it's an emotional preference, and maybe one that you need to be secure and happy. If it hurts you to be with people who have a past, you're not a bad or judgemental person for wanting to wait for a virgin. I still believe you can repent for the experience you had and strive to be closer to your original plan to stay a virgin and be with a virgin. I'll let you in on my personal experience: I am a female virgin. I never wanted to be with a man who wasnt a virgin. But I met a man in exactly your situation, only he decided that he deeply regretted what he had done and wanted to repent for what he did. And immediately, his past didn't matter to me any more, entirely because of the fact that he regretted what he did. Maybe this is just me, but I want to say that what matters most for a girl is what you WANT to be, not necessarily what you've done in the past. As long as, yknow, you're not an abuser who takes that for granted and continually relapses on things you said you didn't want to do.
  22. I'm terribly depressed and sick today. Tell me some stories? It could be a secret you never told anyone, something scary that happened to you, or something to do with waiting, or really any random story you have to tell. I just really love stories.
  23. I think Lonely Knight gave the most detailed and well rounded answer possible. I would just like to add one thing. You mentioned he is suicidal. I would suggest that before moving on with any of these attempts, you FIRMLY SOLIDIFY A MENTALLY STABLE PLACE for him. This is a very emotional hurdle to jump, and you need to make sure he is in a right mind to attempt this. I've known of waiters who really killed themselves over this exact situation. Please do not take it lightly and remember that his emotions, while different from yours, and maybe even irrational or psychotic, are not invalid. They exist and may be causing very real pain. I suggest you do whatever you can to lower the stakes at this moment, even if it means breaking up or taking a pause in the relationship. Or if this is a REALLY serious situation, if you see signs of self harm or destructive mentality, please encourage him to seek counseling or more serious help before coming back to this. It's hard, but keep in mind what is best for him. I may be over reacting, I don't know the situation, but I know that even loved ones of a suicidal person can be taken by surprise when it really happens.