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  1. This whole topic has been on my mind a lot the last couple months... I've been worrying about this for about 15 years now, and a month shy of 27 I've still only been met with rejection. Worse than that, I've struggled to connect with people for the last 8 years, and what few friends I've made moved away after about a year or two. I worried about the having kids thing, but my conclusion now is that I can't emotionally handle having kids. It would take too long to recover from years of loneliness and depression and waiting to do so many things in life because I wanted to wait and share those things with a significant other. Depression has recently started to grow into anger, an emotion which is so foreign and against my nature that I don't know how to deal with it... I just feel myself getting worse, and I've been praying about this so long that I don't have any hope anymore. I expect life to only get more painful and bleak, I honestly just hope for a short one. The only thing I feel like I can do right now is save and invest heavily in hopes that I can retire young enough that I can at least have the time to enjoy with a significant other if I can ever find someone... Unfortunately though, while waiting is a requirement, so are similar interests and intelligence. Ive even met a few girls who I really got along with who met all of these requirements, but they only used me for attention and never wanted anything more because I'm not attractive enough. Sorry to vent, but no one understands why I feel so defeated and hopeless now, and no one understands why I place such importance on waiting for marriage and wanting the same from an SO. Which in terms just makes me feel more alone...
  2. Hi Everyone! Newbie from London, UK

    Welcome! Never seen Death Note, but I hear good things.I haven't heard of the others though. My favorites are Full Metal Alchemist: Brotherhood, Code Geass, and Naruto.
  3. You should celebrate an increase in standards, and mourn a loss in them. Don't sell yourself short; you're clearly a woman of integrity and deserving of someone who demonstrates that as well. It's easy to set high standards; but I hope you'll have the strength to stick to it. When you finally find a guy who's worthy, he'll be glad you didn't just settle.
  4. Salutations!

    Thank you all! Sorry to hear you share in that struggle. I'm glad to hear you have found this community helpful, and I hope I will as well.
  5. I'll admit, I've mostly just skimmed this since there's a lot to catch up on. For the most part a lot of the details I've kinda moved past myself anyway. I tend to see the world in a very black and white way, and can be rather frank and "heartless" on certain issues, of which waiting for marriage will certainly be one. It's lead to me being called a judgmental..... jerk... but I've found most of the people who comment never really try to listen, and I try my best to explain things in such a way that they can understand my entire thought process. Anyway, so, I've really come to the conclusion that dating a girl who isn't a virgin is a deal-breaker to me. There's been several occasions where I've not wanted it to be a deal-breaker, and while I can be ice-cold on that issue, I'll admit it's more difficult to hold that stance when said theoretical person actually has a name. Also, I should note, this is coming off of being incredibly attached to someone who did not meet this requirement. Not a relationship, just someone I fell for after a long time of them actually caring about me- something that has been really rare over the past decade. We'll call her Sarah (which, if that's not clear enough, isn't her name). Sarah falls into the category of "I lost my virginity when I was young; I was depressed to the point of being suicidal and gave into pressure from my boyfriend at the time and I deeply regret this and now insist on waiting." Now, I care deeply about Sarah, and I certainly want the best for her. I sure wish things worked out RIGHT NOW because of pain I'm enduring RIGHT NOW, and I certainly wish we were still on speaking terms, but overall, the friendship became toxic and was at the point of relationship or nothing. And the reality is, it needs to be nothing. There's been others before like Sarah, and most of that occurred at a time when I had concluded *whelp* I failed. I tried to find a relationship at a young age because I anticipated there being an age where I'd no longer meet any girls who are waiting, and now I'm at that point. It's kind of a lie, but the potential dating pool is certainly a lot smaller now. So I've had to on a few occasions attempt to reconcile what it would mean to marry a woman who hadn't waited- that ultimately, sex would not be an experience exclusively between myself and my wife. I've tried to do it, and I can't. And that's okay. See, just like me belonging to the group of people out there who are waiting, there's also people in the group who didn't and regret it. And perhaps this isn't even that big of an issue to Sarah and others like her, but even if it is, there's people out there who can be a good spouse to her who have shared a similar story. But what Sarah can never share, is my story. She cannot understand the loneliness I've endured, and she cannot value what I've done both for my future significant other, but also because that's what I deemed the moral thing to do. She can try, but she cannot value it as much as someone who has endured what I have, who has been alone, who has felt hopeless, who has felt like her future husband won't really appreciate that she did the right thing (or worse, she doesn't compromise and stays alone because she doesn't find anyone). At the end of the day, if I was to be in a relationship with a girl who hadn't waited, I'm making it that much more difficult for a girl who has to find a husband who has. Just as any girl who accepts being with a guy who hasn't waited makes it more difficult for me, and guys like me, to find a girl who has waited.
  6. Salutations!

    Hello! I'm a Software Developer from the South East USA, still kinda adjusting to post college life (got a Master's in Computer Science immediately upon finishing undergrad). ISTJ personality type, with an interest in video games, SciFi, and super heros. Gaming has kinda been a huge part of my life (started playing Super Mario Bros when I was 3, my fate was sealed at a young age lol), but while it's a pretty comfortable conversation topic, I haven't played them much since high school really. I'm incredibly introverted, but love spending time with close friends as much as possible. Unfortunately, most all of them have moved away since graduation... Was pretty involved in a campus ministry during grad school, but have really struggled to find community within a church, especially with others my age. That's kinda why I'm trying this out... loneliness has been pretty overwhelming of late, and I really don't know how to meet anyone anymore. I've always wanted a relationship, but waiting for marriage (and subsequently wanting to find a girl who is also looking for that) only makes it that much harder to find someone, especially when I'm currently struggling to make friends anyway (and I've always been pretty terrible at making friends on my own, I do best making friends through friends). I've tried dating sites, but rarely find people I can relate to there, and if I do, I get ignored outright. I'm pretty transparent, and often described as genuine, but I often find it to be a little overwhelming for new friends. Anyway, while I'd certainly much prefer to meet people in real life who I can actually hang out with.. I hope I'll at least meet some people here who have similar views on waiting for marriage, faith, etc. I've had a hard time finding people who see things similarly, and that makes me feel pretty alone and isolated even in times of my life when I do have a lot of friends. As much as I'd prefer this introduction to be more upbeat and positive, I hope you'll understand that it's unfortunately far from where I'm at right now =\