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About Aparajita

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  • Birthday 09/27/1994

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  1. I have some friends who regret losing their virginity and wish they would have not done it with the wrong person. Idk what your reasons are for waiting but if you feel really pressured to have intercourse with this person you are dating, then you should probably end the relationship. You might feel connected to someone in some way and you might really care for the person but you also have to think about yourself and your own satisfaction. Having been in a toxic relationship I can definitely say that I wasted my time with that person and would never wanna go back. That person had another girlfriend in a different state and he actually even got married to her recently for the wrong reasons. He led me on waisted my time, gave me false hope and even wanted things to be the same after I had found out everything. Maybe the girl you are dating is loyal or maybe she isn't but a healthy relationship works both ways. Follow your gut and I know it's easy for me to say this but doing the right thing is never easy. I know that it might seem like you won't meet girls who would feel the same way about sex but there are a lot of women who will respect your decision. Maybe you are meeting these women in the wrong places ? Idk. Sometimes you need to stop looking and let someone come into your life. Maybe you need to focus on yourself on your goals and the right girl will come along. Everyone has a different definition of virginity. To me personally sex is sex doesn't matter if it's anal, oral whatever. There are girls out there who are willing to accept a guys past with sexual history. Trust me we exist lol. I happen to be one of them. If they are willing to respect my boundaries I would date them. I just don't want to date someone who has been with a lot of people sexually or someone who jumps from one girl to another. That's a red flag for whether they would actually be loyal to you or not. Past is past and stuff happens and especially men have a harder time controlling their sexual desires/needs. The way god designed is biologically is very different and that's why men have a harder time with waiting. Doesn't mean that guys don't wait, they do but the percentage of male waiters is probably very small.
  2. Will, Following God's word and respecting your body is not normal to a lot of people. So don't be bothered by what others say. People are keep going to make assumptions about you just because you don't meet "socially created norms". I think there are a lot of people on this site who can relate to you. And no one ever said waiting was easy. Think of it this way. All this time you are waiting, you have the opportunity to work on yourself and your own goals and eventually when the time is right, you will meet the right person who will understand your decision. We live in a very shallow world and people are gonna keep saying things just don't bother.
  3. Sorry I just saw this thanks after ages I came back online ! ! and so are you
  4. Hey guys, I have been following these two youtubers who are sisters for a while and I am so glad I found them. If you consider yourself a modern christian girl and are feeling lost and confused, you should watch their videos. They answer a lot of different types of questions and are becoming more and more popular. So I hope this is helpful !
  5. Hi rihhanna, Honestly you look pretty attractive so I don't understand how you are single in the first place lol. I think with our current generation a relationship= sex tbh and its very sad but true and I totally understand the way you feel. It doesn't matter where in the world you are that seems to be the norm for the current young adult generation. I have guys like me but they either don't want to date me because of the waiting thing or they lead me on and cheat behind my back. There are very few men who are willing to respect you and trust me when you are not looking the right person should come along. And yes it does get lonely but I guess see this days of you being single as a sign that God wants you to work on yourself and your goals. A lot of people will get married, engaged, be in a serious relationship but trust me a lot of those people are just settling down for whatever comes along their way. I have a friend who married someone whom she met on facebook, whom she had only dated for about 6 months. She literally went to visit him and came back engaged. ( Red flag like you had a ring ready for her right away). She is also younger than me and he is much older than us and maybe she did find her soulmate but I thought the whole thing was rushed because she was afraid she wouldn't find anyone else. And now she acts like he is the only person who matters and has completely shut me out of her life. Her being in a relationship did bother me but now it doesn't because I know this person had some serious problems of her own and she thinks that this guy would solve her problems. But being in a relationship doesn't make you happy, happiness comes from within you! So I just shared this with you because people around you will settle down for whatever comes their way and you will constantly be surrounded by people dating all the time. This is why divorces and breakups happen because half the time people are not dating the right person. But just know that some people are not as strong as you to stand on their own and stick to high standards whatever they are. About last year I was very lost and confused and I too was having trouble talking to God. I was looking for a relationship which I regret doing now tbh because I know the guys will show interest but immediately turn me down because of the waiting till marriage thing. Now I am just focusing on myself, my career and my relationship with God. I go to a church regularly where I don't meet guys to date but meet more people who have similar values. I keep myself busy with my job and I am getting ready move to a new place. I know there are good guys out there, who will respect my waiting (even if they are non-virgins), and would be be willing to date me. They just happen to be rare !
  6. I think marrying a virgin would be better cause that way they understand you cause you both waited. But I am open to being with a non virgin who hasn't had a lot of sexual partners.
  7. Finding someone from church

    I have never tried Christian Mingle but there is this one app called Coffee Meets Bagel. People seem more legit on there in terms of what they are looking for. I use it sometimes but I don't talk to people just because I don't want to start a relationship when I know I am going to move in the next couple of months. But you should give it a try.
  8. Does it matter?

    Age: This is actually important to me. I know people say that age is just a number but I will most likely not be with someone who is more than 4 years older than me or even younger just because it comes down to maturity level. I need a friend not an authoritative figure or someone that I am constantly taking care of. Race: Its not more about race but its more about cultural differences. Although I am South Asian, I am fairly western having been brought up in an International American school and also continuing my education here in the United States. Many people think that I would date/marry an Indian guy but it is not true at all. In fact many Indian guys I have met are more traditional and I always seem to clash with them and they often time they think I am too westernized. I was not raised in a traditional Indian way and the fact that I was raised in a Christian household also matters because I can't relate to someone who is South Asian and is Hindu or of other faith. In my boarding school, majority of our teachers were Americans, and we had a lot of students who were biracial or Indians who were living in other countries. So after coming out of a school like that it was tough for me to relate to someone who had just been around Indians. I was in an interracial relationship with someone who was from Zimbabwe and one of the reasons as to why I clashed with him was how he viewed women. I was very attracted to him physically but his views were a little challenging for me. So it had nothing to do with his skin color tbh. He had never been pushed like me so it was difficult for him to understand why I spent majority of my undergrad life in the library and why I didn't go to college parties. Now that I have been attending church regularly, most guys I meet are white who happen to have the same views as me. I live in a small town of about 40000 people so we don't have that much diversity here. Most people I interact with on a regular basis are White. Does this mean that I am not attracted to other races ? Absolutely not. But yes I do prefer Christian men who are western and have attended private schools because they tend to understand me more. We don't have as much diversity in our church so I don't meet any other minorities at my church. It is also very rare for me to meet someone who is South Asian and is Christian. Majority of them are Hindus and I don't want to be with someone who is not of the same faith. Maybe this would change once I move to a bigger city ? I am praying that I move to Wisconsin for my graduate studies where I will meet more people. Career: I am career oriented hence I expect my boyfriend to be career oriented as well. Education Status: Yes this matters quite a lot actually. I would prefer to date someone who is in a demanding field.. someone who is academic so that they understand the stress level and pressure. I am hoping to get a masters in nursing to become a nurse practitioner and health care is not a joke. Its good money but its a lot of dedication and hard work. I would definitely prefer if the person I was with was in health care, law or something which requires you do study a lot lol
  9. Long-distance relationship?

    I think personally for me long distance would work only I or the other person was moving to the same state or town/city. I am currently not seeing someone right now but if I do want to start dating, I want it to be in the same area.
  10. Would you date a guy who's still living at home?

    I think it depends on the situation of the person. Even though I am South Asian, I have not been living with my parents since I was 13 years old because I attended an international boarding school and then moved to the United Sates for college and right now I am living off campus but with girls my age. I have been on my own for quite a while now so living with them would be weird. I would preferably date someone who has their own place..
  11. I totally understand the whole not just my body thing. Guys they wanna talk to me but when I tell them I am waiting, they are not cool with it. Its so sad and disgusting but the reason people date today is to have sex and not to actually fall in love and get to know the other person and build a stronger friendship and relationship.
  12. I had always been waiting since I was young but I really started questioning it when I was 21 years old and was getting more dating experience in college. All my friends were doing it with their boyfriends and I always had this pressure. Some people even mocked me for it and I was confused for some time. But I realized I was very sure was when this guy I was seeing was casually hooking up with girls on my campus behind my back. In fact he had a girlfriend in a different state whom now he is married to but still the fact that he was just using girls like that really made me decide that I did not want to lose my virginity. He could have taken my virginity and would have just left me but I am SOO SOO glad that I found out about his girlfriend and his wrongdoings. God saved me even though finding out the truth was very difficult for me. I thought that this person wanted to get to know me but what they really wanted was just my body. After this experience, there were several guys who would show interest and when I would tell them I was waiting, they would all run away. I have some friends who were sexually active with their boyfriends, were very emotionally involved and now they are not with them. So what was the point of dating ? Having sex and then just moving onto another person ? For most guys, not guys on this website, but I am talking college guys who date a lot or have had a lot of experience, its very easy for them to not be emotionally attached to women and they move on very easily. But for women sex is very emotional, and I didn't want to give a huge part of me to someone who is not going to be there for me longterm. When a guy waits for you, that shows a lot about their character. If they don't wait for and reject you because you want to wait, then you now that sex was the goal for them in the relationship. I did not want to have multiple partners (and getting STDS lol) and I wanted to respect God with my body. God created sex for marriage and it bring two loved ones closer. Boyfriends don't get husband privileges because they have not committed to you in the eyes of God.
  13. Your Dream Guy !!

    My Dream guy - Christian, Kind, Humble, Smart, Confident, Caring, Career and Family Oriented. Someone who takes care of themselves physically and emotionally. - They don't have to be dead drop model but have to be attractive to me. - I would prefer a waiter so he would understand my reasons but if he lost it in his past relationship, I am accepting. - Someone who is not overly conservative but moderate when it comes to political views cause I am moderate. - Someone who respects other cultures in other words open. PS: I already met someone who checked out all of this criteria except the waiting part and they told me they didn't want to pressure me. I was sad but at least he had the guts to respect me instead of leading me on. Hoping to find someone like him who also understands the waiting thing ! Still 23 staying strong !
  14. Hi, recently joined

    Welcome !