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Posts posted by Waitergirl

  1. I'd feel overwhelmed trying to get to know so many people. I think the most worrying thing is "choosing" someone and dealing with cutting off those other people. Especially if they really like you and felt like they were building a relationship with you.

    I don't think I'd want to date someone who's dating other women. I'd feel like I wasn't special enough to pursue, lol.

    (And where are they getting all these dates from anyway? I need to get out more.)


    I would also feel way too overwhelmed! I just couldn't keep up with it. It takes a lot of time and effort to get to know someone, and having to do that with multiple people at one time would be way to stressful and time-consuming. I'd much rather date one person at a time until I find someone that I would be willing the spend the rest of my life with.


    Even more importantly, I myself would never want to date a man that was dating other women at the same time. Why should I allow myself to date many men at the same time, when I personally wouldn't want a guy that I am interested in to do the same thing? That'd be a double standard right there. As you also mentioned in your post, I wouldn't feel like I was being pursued because he saw something special in me! :wub: â€‹Now, I don't know about other people, but if I were to date a guy that is dating other girls at the same as me, I would most likely be thinking a lot about the dates that he is going on with these other women (e.g. do they connect better? Does he find her more attractive than he finds me? Am I really his third or fourth option in case the other girls don't work out?)  


    Don't think I could handle that.

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  2. These are the days of our lives.....


    Hi there, sorry to hear about all of your angst. Of course no one can tell you what to do, no one hear is going to know what is  best for you based on a tiny snippet of your situation, only you can decide that. I can just point out that the fact that you two are breaking up so often is an indicator that this is not the best situation for you. I think in your head you keep noticing problems and warning signs but in your heart you care for him and you may let your heart over rule what your head knows is not the best.


    I don't know if you are thinking somewhere deep down that if you eventually marry these warning signs that trouble you now will suddenly go away and get better. I don't believe that is the case. Dating is usually the fun, carefree, easy part and things become more difficult after you marry. I think these things will continue to bother you and be a problem.


    Everyone is different and has different "standards". Some don't care about sexual pasts or previous marriages and some do. You don't seem to care. I personally want to marry another  who is a virgin and has waited until marriage. I wouldn't even date anyone who has been married before. Not that they are bad or that  there is anything wrong with them, I just don't want to ever be anyone's second husband. I want to share those special experiences together and not be the next one on the card. Someone tried to set me up with a girl once and I had agreed to go out but changed my mind when I found out they had been married. That's not what I want so why go out.


    I wish you the best. The picture you paint doesn't sound very promising, age difference, previous wife and daughter, you being off at school, you saving yourself for your husband but him having all of these previous experiences and the possibility of comparisons you two breaking up so much. It sure sounds like there is probably plenty of great guys you can choose from that are your own age and are waiters themselves. Once you date some more guys you'll see this, since right now this is your one and only serious relationship.


    Good luck.


    Thank you so much, HeWhoWaits!


    This has truly helped me gain more perspective. I will definitely be re-reading this post over the next few days...it has already been a tremendous help!

  3. I honestly don't mind taking turns. To be fair though, my husband will probably want to drive most of the time seeing as though I am lacking enormously in the good-driving skills department.

  4. Hey everyone,


    Just wanted to let you guys know about an AMAZING app that I found for vegans. It's called "Vegan Amino." It has been so helpful to me so far throughout my journey as a vegan. It's a great way to connect with like-minded individuals, and it is also a great way to find new, scrumptious vegan recipes!


    You guys should really go check it out! You can find me on there as well. My username is Philosophermit :lol:.  

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  5. Hi everyone!


    I am new here :D. Just thought I'd share with you all how I found out about this awesome website.


    For the past few months I had been feeling a little low because, as a recent convert to agnosticism, I had found it difficult finding other agnostics or atheists that shared my desire to wait to have sex until marriage. However, yesterday evening I stumbled upon an article titled: "7 Reasons Why Atheists Wait until Marriage", an article which lead me to this website!!!! I was so thrilled to find out that there is a whole community out there (which includes some agnostics and atheists) that desire to wait to have sex until marriage like I do!


    So excited to begin reading all of the interesting posts here on this site!






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