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Everything posted by Rewritten4him

  1. I am 25, I have two kids. My son is 4yrs old and my daughter is 3mo old. I am not with the father of my son because he was mentally abusive and had a huge temper which I feared would turn into physical abuse. I am however with the father of my daughter and I am so in love with him. Besides my kids and God he is the best thing that has ever happened to me. My life has been a rocky road, I was sexually abused as a kid (age 3.) Shortly after that my mom married my stepdad. When I grew up I was physically abused and severely mentally abused. At age 9 I was ripped away from God and coherced to believe he did not exist. I was made to believe that if he did exist I wouldn't be in the situation I was in and neither would many other kids who had it worse than I did. Just last year I began reconsidering how I feel about God but it wasn't until this past Febuary that I really started to dive in. Now I study the Bible everyday, watch Christian t.v. for encouragement, and I'm looking for a church to join so I can be baptized. Now that you know my background here's my issue. I lost my virginity at 16 as an attempt to be loved I guess and I think that's the only form of "love" I actually knew. As I grow closer to God I have been feeling that he does not want me to continue to have sex because I am not married. I have told my boyfriend about this and he says he's okay with it but things have been awkward since. I just feel so stupid like I've already had my chance to save myself for marriage. But I also feel that this is my opportunity to find out who I am in God. To start fresh in his light as I don't feel I was given that choice because of my circumstances. While I take responsibilty for my choices I wish I had been taught God's word. I guess really what I need is reassurance that I'm doing the right thing and maybe some advise about how to go about having an abstinent relationship after already having a sexual one. I can't believe I'm asking for advise, this is so unlike me.
  2. How should Christians handle pathological liars?

    Amarillo, I feel your pain; my Step-dad and Mom are pathological liars. They have made it very hard for me to trust people. So staying away from people like that is important because like you said even when you think they are telling the truth they are not. Also, to add to what you said Amarillo: continuing a friendship with a person like this weakens your spirit immensely. If you are anything like me, you will probably feel bad for not talking to this person but you shouldn't. As scripture says, and I try to remember often, "Above all else guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." -Proverbs 4:23 I feel that this part of scripture is telling us that when we recognize that someone will cause us pain, we need to proceed with caution. People that lie compulsively are toxic in so many ways. I will not tell you what to do but I suggest that you do not try to decipher what they say as truth or lie but rather avoid them altogether. Do not be mean but keep your distance.
  3. I have never assumed that someone that age is married or otherwise attached to someone else. Unless I see a ring or they talk about one girl a lot. But I will say that you need to watch for the signs that a girl is flirting with you because well no offense to you whatsoever but some guys just miss that completely.
  4. Ever been Friendzoned -- or nah?

    I would just like to say that as a once "friendzoner" to a "friendzonee." It's better to have been friendzoned than to have fallen in love with someone you can't have. While yes I know it sucks for this to happen. I really think it's for the best.
  5. Please help... I feel so conflicted

    Oh I'm sorry, I believe you misunderstood when I said I would call you a friend and sister before Jesus. I didn't mean before as "in order of preceding." I meant before as in "in front of." I will always call on him first above everyone else because he is my God but it is nice to have friends who understand me. Much love to you as well
  6. Please help... I feel so conflicted

    Geraldine, I thank God too that he has given me the pleasure of meeting you. I am happy that God has given you the voice to spread his Word and his love. Your heart is definitely pure. You are absolutely right we are nothing without him! <3 Thank you for your kindness and reassurance! Also thank you for your prayers! <3 I promise I have no intention to change my boyfriend but I do have the intention to take him with me on my journey with God. As I told Invincible, he has never given up on me so I will not give up on him. I'm going to pray and talk to my boyfriend before I make my final decision about moving into my daughters room. I think this will be the best option though. If anyone were to ask I will call you my friend and I will call you my friend and my sister before Jesus when the time comes as well. May he also bless you in abundance <3
  7. Please help... I feel so conflicted

    I am not sure how to quote, every time I try to use all of the buttons that say quote nothing happens. So sorry about that. Invincible, To your first response: I agree that the passes he made were very telling that things are very one sided at the present moment. I do have my doubts that he will be able to promote purity in our relationship but I do not doubt that he does love me. Because of this I think he will eventually be on board 100%. I can't give up on him because he has never given up on me. To your second response: After reading your Scripture citations I feel a bit more confident in my ability to gauge his level of faith. I have thought about it all day. I feel that like myself he is an imperfect human being. Just like me he needs to work on himself as to who he is through God. I think that he has more knowledge of the Word than I do but our meeting was no mistake. I have this feeling that we were brought together to be strengthened in the name of Jesus. I have never had a solid example as to the foundation of what a relationship is meant to be. If I did though, this would probably be it. I put his name in place of love in 1 Corinthians 13;4-7 as you suggested. What I found was not perfect but potential. Many of my fears I think are just demons from my past. Talking to both you and Geraldine has really helped to bring some clarity to my situation. I will continue to keep these considerations in mind as I value the opinions of those who are also children of God. Thank You again so much. May God bless you and keep you in good health. Please let me know if there is anything that you would like me to pray for you
  8. Please help... I feel so conflicted

    Geraldine, Yes I have heard of Joyce Meyer. I watch her show once a day and it really helps, especially when she brings up her past. She gives me so much hope that one day I can be fully healed like she is. It is so hard to explain but my heart tells me that God has been with me my whole life he was just waiting for the right time to make himself known to me. I find myself crying in astonishment and joy for the love he is showing me everyday. Every pain I was ever put through is beginning to heal slowly and I have put my trust into Jesus that he is my savior. Not only do I cry but I also laugh when I realize that he has been with me all along. I have felt so hopeless for so long that I was starting to believe nothing could ever help me. I think that before I was just floating through life attempting to find happiness and love but I never have known unconditional love until Jesus shined his light on me. I have prayed that he will guide me to the right church and I believe I may have found the one but I need to attend a few more times before I think I will know for sure. So far I have found that when I walk into this church I feel at peace. Another thing that Iike about the church is that instead of reciting the Our Father prayer they sing it. Concerning what you said about my decision to wait till marriage thank you for telling me that I am not stupid. I have known in my heart that it is not stupid but my mind was getting in the way. This happens a lot due to the discouragement I received as a child and I continue to pray that this too will be healed. Also in regards to us living in the same house and sleeping in the same bed. I have found an uneasiness in this too but I am not sure what I can do. I feel that it would hurt my children to be separated from their home because they are accustomed to their surroundings. I have considered that maybe I should move into my 3mo. olds room for now but this would leave little space to move around in her room. Although for her young age it probably wouldn't bother her much. What is your opinion? Thank you for the love you send out as my sister through Christ and I return this love to you. I pray that God continues to bless you as you seem like a very wonderful person.
  9. Please help... I feel so conflicted

    Thank you both for your words they were very comforting. Invincible, Yes I have thought about him resenting me and I worry that he may go looking elsewhere for fulfilment or that he may pressure me. The way I am looking at that though is that if those things do happen then it will be proof that God did not choose him for me. Would you agree? Also he did make some passes that I found very sexual which made me uncomfortable. I didn't mean to but I yelled at him to stop making passes at me. I later went to him and apologized for getting so upset. I explained to him that I felt he was trying to make passes to see what he could get away with and that this is important to me. I told him that God tells us that once we realize our sin we are to repent and stop committing the same sin. I also expressed that it is our duty to obey God's word because I feel in my whole being that this is true. He said he was sorry and that he won't do it again but that doesn't stop me from feeling that he might. As far as him being Christian, he says that he is and he was baptized as a Lutheran. He was raised in a home that believed in God but did not study the bible or attend church. He is the only one out of his family that has studied the bible. I think that he does believe but I also worry that he could be disconnected from his faith. He reads his Bible occasionally but I do not see him following anything that he reads. I really am not sure how to know if he truly believes or if he is one of those that believes but does not see. I feel that at this point I am not one to judge his level of faith.
  10. The secret of happiness

    This post was very inspiring for me. I am currently trying to overcome hurts from my past. Everyday I tell myself I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Saying that out loud when I feel I am losing site of my happiness really helps. However this article just reinforced that and reminded me that true happiness lies within me not anyone else.