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About BeautifullyBookish

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    Wonderful Weirdo
  • Birthday 11/01/1994

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  1. New relationship - how to tell him I'm waiting?

    This is amazing! Congratulations on the anniversary! I've been finding it hard lately to be a waiter. Not because of temptation (I'm hopelessly single) but because no one else values it. Sex is something that is expected of you and I feel looked down upon because I don't choose to do it. I just feel really down about it all and feel like maybe this isn't realistic. I'm happy about my choice, I couldn't be any other way, but it's hard when you're in a sea of people who treat sex like a handshake. Hearing your story gives me hope that maybe I could be wrong. I appreciate you sharing, thank you. I hope you have many more happy years of marriage. And it is definitely something to treasure. - Jess xx
  2. Hello everyone ^_^

    Welcome, we're always happy to support fellow waiters
  3. I think, especially for waiters, viginity can be equally special for men and women. For some individuals it's even more so and for some it's not but I don't think the split is necrssarily related to gender but instead is related to how the person views sex and themselves. A womans virginity is referred to as many things, including flower, because women's virginity is something that has always been viewed more positively and as something more important than male virginity. There's a real double standard here and it does suck that there's so much more pressure on men to have sex and for women not to. It is a historical and cultural norm for promiscuity to be encouraged in men and for purity to be encouraged in women but that is really wrong in my opinion. Virginity is a personal thing. If someone wants to have sex they should be allowed to, male or female. And if someone wants to save that first experience they should be allowed to, male or female. And moreover those people shouldn't be judged for a decision that is theirs to make. And I think it's important for someone to be a virgin at marriage if that's their choice. If it's what they want then it's important. No one gets more points for not having sex, it's not anything to do with anyone else. We just have to do what's right for us, that's what is important That was quite a tangent but my point is it special because of the person we are as opposed to the gender and no one has the right to tell us otherwise. And also I don't focus so much on virginity. It's not an actual tangible thing someone can take. In fact it's quite the opposite, it's an experience you gain. I prefer not to view that experience as me losing anything because I just don't see it that way. I will be gaining a lot and that will be special. To me waiting is very special. Virginity is part of the package but isn't something I feel I can take ownership of since it doesn't exist. So I won't be giving my husband my virginity, I will be taking from him a wonderful gift. We will be sharing an experience and that is only a chance to gain, to feel more complete and to begin a life. The word 'losing' doesn't really fit there if you ask me. I hope this makes sense, sorry it's overly long! -BB
  4. Hi everybody!!!

    Welcome Robby! It's lovely to meet you too. Hopefully we'll see you on chat or around the forums
  5. Certificate of virginity

    Well said! I completely agree. I wonder what would have happened if the doctor had discovered that it "appeared" as if she'd had sex. As you rightly say there's no way to definitively tell if someone is a virgin but using tampons can disrupt a hymen or it might not even be enough hymen to disrupt. So if this "doctor" had viewed such lack of hymen or believed for some reason that she had engaged in sex before marriage would she have been refused a certificate even though she may well have been a virgin? Also I agree with it not being something you'd want to share with your father. Each to their own but personally I don't think she should have to prove it to her father. If she wants to tell him she's waiting then fine but surely he should believe his child. And why else would she want to give him certificate? Whatever her reasons, I wouldn't judge her for what makes her happy but I don't think that any doctor should be signing such a certificate so I do have an issue with this. It's also possible that someone has had sex and a doctor (such as this one who believes that they can actually tell) is convinced she hasn't so she can lie about it and have back up for her lie. And I agree that these articles are largely what the world sees from this community and it is so often completely unrepresentative of the majority of waiters. It's such a shame that this is all that people see and therefore what they may think we're all about.
  6. I think I may be socially retarded...

    Sweetie take a breath, you're okay. I don't know the situation which spurred this but as the others said it happens to us all sometimes. I think I'm fairly socially adept but I'm weird so that gets in my way sometimes. But for every one unsuccessful social situation there are better ones too. Don't let bad experiences make you think it's all bad, it isn't. And please don't criticize yourself for waiting, you should be proud of that. It is your choice, it wasn't forced upon you because of social retardation. Take back the control on that one, you are doing it for the right reasons and we all respect you for that - you should respect that in yourself too. I hope this works out for you but either way I think you should just remind yourself of who you truly are and forget these labels. You're you, socially adept or not and that is enough to be happy and proud. Don't let a bad experience (or 100 bad experiences) define you, that's your job. - Jess
  7. My Belated Hello

    Ah that's great, I'm always up for meeting more bookish people xD
  8. My Belated Hello

    I've been on the site for a month or maybe two and have yet to do one of these hi thingys. Firstly I didn't know how (hopefully I'm getting it right now) and also I just kept forgetting xD With that being said...Hi! If you want to know more about me check my profile, if you want to talk to me send me a message anytime (I'd love to talk to everyone but especially anyone in England) and if you've already done these things then I really am late with this xD I'm sure there are some of you I haven't met though so this is a hello to all of you
  9. Hi!

    Welcome to the site! I look forward to seeing you around
  10. Just wondering: Do women really want to stay with one man?

    Thank you! :-)
  11. Just wondering: Do women really want to stay with one man?

    Firstly I agree with all of previous responses, good answers ladies. Secondly the whole promiscuous sex thing is quite the misconception in terms of how it compares to married sex. Many studies suggest that married people have more frequent and varied sex than singles which makes sense right? Well it does to me and here's why: >No need to track someone down and convince them you're a good way to spend a Saturday night. If you're married you have a guarantee that you'll never come home alone or waste time trying to capture someone's interest (she married you, you can relax a little) >Once married you'd already be comfortable and aware of each others preferences so there's less of the 'fumbling get it done'/'get happy and go' sex and more of the 'what should we try tonight/ 'exploratory' sex. >Once married the frequency is likely to be much greater because you don't need to go out and find it. It's like ice cream (is it me or are there lots of ice cream metaphors on this site?). If you have a tub at home you'll dig in whenever you want, eat it all night if you feel like it. If you don't then you must go in search of it, find a place that's open and has a good hygiene rating. The downsides here are that it might not be your favourite flavour and at some point the shop will close and you are forced to go back home, to your bed, icecreamless and alone. >The fulfilment you get from married sex, I imagine, will supersede any single sex you could possibly have. Unless you have a regular "friend" then every time you have the new person sex it's exactly that, new. Maybe to some this sounds exciting but to me it sounds like the movie Groundhog Day. And of course every girl/guy is different but it's always going to have that same "I've never seen this person naked before" feeling. Which, again, for some may be exciting but I think it'd be more exciting to spend a long time getting to know just one person in that intimate way than flitting around. Put it this way, I would prefer one huge book (in my head, not exactly the kind of thing I'd put on my coffee table) filled with everything intimate I know (hopefully only I know) about my husband than a million index cards that say things like "Guy with nice butt is really flexible". >Each of these reasons is longer than the last so I'll try to keep this one brief. As many of the others have said it's not a ridiculous notion that people in relationships will admire the attractiveness of people they see. I would hope though that once you're married and having all the awesome married sex that you'd see that nothing could ever compare. So I can look at all those pretty dressed up ice creams though the shop window but I wouldn't buy one because I know my favourite ice cream is waiting at home to be devoured. This was a very long winded answer (I apologise) but my direct answer is yes, I do want just one man. And if you happen to stumble across him please send him my way, I'd really appreciate that
  12. How do you Men control yourselves?

    Thank you, that is very sweet of you to say but I'm sure it's not the only reason
  13. Would you let your GF.....?

    You wouldn't survive with me then, I have mine painted all the time xD
  14. Would you let your GF.....?

    Haha thanks, now just to find someone who wouldn't mind me doing it