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About Skeptopotamus

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    Hopeful Cynic
  • Birthday 10/30/1979

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    Drawing, painting, photography, making things out of polymer clay, sci-fi shows/books, board games and smack talk, day trips to the awesome little mountainous places nearby.

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  1. I personally haven't but I also have not been dating in the last while, but I've been intrigued to meet a of women who said they did wait and their partners waited for them. #1 Met her husband while traveling. He was working in the hotel she was staying at. I don't know the details of how long they were dating but she told him her views and he honored them. She's Christian and it was due to her faith that she waited. I'm not sure if he was Christian, but they both attend church now and are taking their kids to church. From some conversations with him I can tell his views on sex were different, but he is quite content with his life and seems to really respect his wife. #2 Met her husband at a "Meetup" ( event from a group she ran. She's Christian, he's not religious and even though his lifestyle was different than hers and he has some sexual history (and two kids from a previous relationship), he honored her decision to wait. HOWEVER... the one thing about this story that tarnishes it for me is how rapidly they got married. I think it might have been a classic "I want to wait to have sex but don't want to wait a whole lot once I'm in a relationship so let's get married nownownow". They were engaged at 3 months of dating.
  2. Hello! New here...

    Welcome! It's been great talking to you on chat. I think you'll find a lot of like-minded people here!
  3. NYC pastor's list of men/women to avoid marrying

    Ironically it is the Christian feminist who fights for the right of women to live the traditionally biblical life. But as we now know, there is no room within Christendom for a Christian feminist. Darn, missed opportunity. Fine, let's just let things run their course. If some men are so turned off by the word "feminist" without determining the meaning behind it, and shut out a potential partner just because she called herself a feminist, then both parties are better off not being involved with each other.
  4. Proposal for "Prayer Request" thread...

    I think this is a nice idea. It's a good way for site members to support each other. I have a request. My mom was diagnosed with endometrial cancer back in June. She had a hysterectomy in July and we had hoped that was the end of it, but she just got a call from the cancer clinic saying they need to set her up with an appointment with the radiation therapy doctor. That meeting is this Thursday. So please pray for my mom and our family, that the prognosis will be mild, that she'll recover fully and that the rest of us will have the strength to support her and the family during this time. My dad is not very mobile and relies a lot on my mom, so I'll have to stay with them during her treatments and manage the house. I'm still recovering from a recent car accident, and in a very new job so I'll need to stay strong in particular through all this. If you aren't religious, even your well-wishes are appreciated. Thanks
  5. NYC pastor's list of men/women to avoid marrying

    Okay, if 2nd marriages are adultery, this guy is advising all people in second marriages to immediately break it up. You can love and be very content with your partner, you could even have children in that marriage, but you need to divorce? So the emotional havoc on both spouses and the kids is something you willfully inflict? He also goes to mention that living in adultery means you won't get into heaven and that makes me ask (and this will take the thread on a tangent but what the heck): In Christian belief, is accepting Jesus as savior all that is required for salvation? I thought the reason Jesus was necessary is that living righteously is impossible as it is a very strict and difficult life. So now we have to accept Jesus, and still live as strictly as before he came in order to have salvation? So it isn't by grace alone?
  6. The blasted economy

    Hello, Alberta's economy has gone down the crapper with the low oil prices (which seem to be ever-lowering) and I personally have been affected by it as have other people I know. It makes me curious how the economy is in the rest of North America and how it has affected all of you personally. Back in April I lost my job due to there not being enough work. The company had a 40% drop in sales and was not even making budget. It wasn't even an oil and gas company, but in Alberta either you're in oil and gas or chances are most of your clients are. Thankfully, I was already looking for other jobs due to some general job dissatisfaction and I was able to start at a new position in May (making it look on my resume like my job change was deliberate). However, things could have easily gone south. I had just bought my first home 2 years back and dumped the entirety of my savings into the down payment. While I had built some if it back, if I was out of work for more than 4 months (and finding a job in the current market is averaging around 6-8 months) I would have had to sell my place and move back in with my parents. At 35. So how are things faring in the rest of North America? Are you making different financial choices as a result of the shaky economy?
  7. NYC pastor's list of men/women to avoid marrying

    There's a lot to discuss here but there's one point that stood out to me: the aversion to feminism. "Feminist" is a blanket-term that encompasses a spectrum, so I wonder why it's always seen as being a man-hating "reverse chauvinist" ideology. Feminism came out of a social need to correct a lot of societal ills: woman not having any legal say for themselves, not being able to vote to insure that women's concerns were addressed, being beaten or imprisoned by husbands that believed they had a God-given right to do so. I'm personally grateful for feminism for giving me a choice and ability to support myself. It does not mean that I hate men or want to trample on them. I just wonder why it seems to be the default belief that feminism means just that.
  8. MBTI? (Myers Briggs)

    Me too! The T and F are almost a tie but I lean a little more on the thinking side vs the feeling side.
  9. In love

    Lol that's how I determined love too. I read up on it. Haha. I couldn't just trust my feelings, I had to research.
  10. Networking Newbie!!!

    Welcome! I hope your account issues and not being able to see the group chat room gets fixed!
  11. Wow a mathematical one, lol. - Baby you’re like a student and I am like a math book, you solve all my problems. - Well, here I am. What are your other two wishes?
  12. Valentine's Day

    You could always do a date night and go out to a nice romantic restaurant and then a walk (if you don't live in the frozen tundra like I do) and know ahead of time you aren't going back to anyone's place. If it's planned in advance there won't be any pressure. It sounds like you've got yourself a good guy that isn't going to pressure you, but why give yourself the temptation of being at home with a bedroom right down the hall if that's something that you want to avoid?
  13. Giving close..

    Yes definitely wait for someone worth it. If you get the vibe that they care more about having sex than you then run as fast as you can. I've heard some guys say that their relationship was bad but "at least they're getting sex" or they're thinking she's not really right for them but they wanna keep having sex. Such a turn off. I don't have much respect for people that use others and I don't know how they can trick themselves into thinking they are being respectful to others. Anyway, take a look at your social avenues and the places in your life where you're meeting people. Are they places that attract those with the same values? If you're doing your best to get out there and socialize, it might ease some of your worry.
  14. Giving close..

    How has your dating life been besides the waiting aspect, or are you finding that WTM is scaring people away before they even get to know you? Are you in social groups or friend groups where someone who knows you as a full person might grow into a relationship? I kind of hate dating in the way it is done now, where you go on a date with someone you just met or barely know. It puts a lot of pressure on things and sexual compatibility seems to be on the forefront of people's minds. I'd much rather meet someone in a group friend setting then if we have compatible personalities than to go from there. I didn't wait. I think it is a beautiful thing to wait, and I would wait for someone who wanted to in a heartbeat but I personally did not. I was in love with my partner and engaged to him, but life happened and things went sour anyway. Because waiting for someone who knew me as a person (friends for 7 years before we started dating), loved me, and was safe and responsible was my absolute necessity, I don't feel bad about the decision. The fact that the relationship failed bothers me a lot more and I've learned a lot from that. A lot of people who WTM feel like that could be the reason they aren't meeting someone. However, be careful with that mindset. In my dating life now, it is hard to find someone who even meets the love/trust/loyal/safe/committed requirement. Even if I don't wait there are just too many people who have separated sex from love and almost want to get "sexual compatibility" out of the way before they even know your middle name. It's ridiculous and frustrating. I'm not sure your personal beliefs and if waiting is something very important to you on a personal and possible spiritual level. I suppose we each have to ask ourselves that if we did meet someone who we had a trusting, loving, safe, and loyal relationship with and WTM was the only mismatch, are you happier and more at peace with sticking to your beliefs even if it means the possibility of being alone? Or is making that decision something that would make you feel worse and that you missed out on something important? By "important" I don't mean sex, I mean the relationship. Only you can decide. Oh and if the whole idea of missing out on sex in and of itself crosses your mind and bothers you--- put that thought completely aside. Sex in and of itself is really not that great especially for those of us that see the person far far more important than the sex. Society makes a big whoop-de-do about sex but society is frankly full of shiz.
  15. Valentine's Day

    Star Trek, beer and wings.... *sigh* Sounds awesome.