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Everything posted by Zokhanyo

  1. Greetings

    Hellow waiters, i have been here for a long time but was away for a long time also, about 2years away i guess. i am 30years old, a waiter, woman and a Christian in South Africa. I have chosen to wait because i believe it is good and right thing to do, for my dignity not to be taken away by someone who doesn't value me. For my future husband to be respected coz of my value. I want to have a strong bond only with him. i am very happy to be back here, for i need people who talk my language of waiting, as it helps in being strong on the move. I respect you good people for your choice, i can be honest at my age its not that easy, but God is so amazing because i am still standing my ground and holding my vow. i salute you with respect. 1Love.
  2. Greetings

    Thankyou for welcoming me good people, thanx a lot. 1Love
  3. Owsh that's my bad luck,, i never met a man interested in me willing to wait. I am 30 and never had a boyfriend in my life, because i was afraid it would tempt me for sex and rather i know girls who fell on the temptation of sex because they had boyfriends and were alone in room etc. When i was 25 i felt ready to have a boyfriend but wait for sex till marriage, but hey i never met a guy who meets my criteria of a man to date, a man who is willing to wait. Untill now i haven't find that man, so it is very difficult. Its difficult to even find a man of my age not in a relationship like me. However i don't want to wait forever, i want to meet someone and get married with him even if he was not a waiter, but must wait for me faithfuly even if its 6months wait. He must know how to wait, and value me more than having sex with me, for i am not just a sexual package. 1Love.
  4. Ow lonto leyo as am reading some of your comments am like; oh Lord why don't you let this man come to me lol. I am ready for my husband, 30years is not little, its not that easy to wait but God is trustworthy and faithful because He gives me strength to stand my grounds. I also wish that a man could just love me not because am a virgin, because this virginity will not last a minute on our wedding night i suppose lol. Sex is so special to me to just have it with not thee special person of marriage. Though he is not a virgin he must value waiting and agrees on the not good of sex before marriage, and be atlist wishing he waited at the beginning.
  5. Ow my goodness to be honest in answering this question: Having sex out of marriage is not my option at all, at the same time at my age of 30yrs now i am so eager to get my husband. For him to be a virgin would be a great reward as i never met a virgin man of my age in my adult life; therefore my option is that atlist he should know how to wait like having a self control, that is being a born again Christian who have a time of waiting in his repentance life. So i am saying i don't want to be a virgin forever; i want to meet my one and get married even if he is not a primary virgin like me but a secondary virgin. But i will never settle for sex before marriage.
  6. I am looking for a selfless husband, love and faithfulness; these are key to me. He must be a responsible man and prioritize God as well as his family. A man with good values that makes his character good as well. I need happiness from him. Flexible loving man with good stand. 1Love.
  7. Greetings

    Thanxu for welcoming me guys, I feel good. 1Love.
  8. Initiating a conversation with a guy to me is not a big deal especialy at church or anywhere mating like i start a conversation with anyone and nlt even remember how we started the convo. Simple bcoz we are human we have to talk, but making a first move of confessing feelings to a guy is something else to me, i don't think i'd ever do that. i leave things as they are if the guy can't make the first move to me.
  9. mmh assuming no, maybe because i am 30yrs and i wish to meet some1 over 30yrs not having a child, and ofcoz not in a relationship. So i don't assume that 1 is married, in a relationship nor have a child because of his age. i rather ask a person, i like to take something that comes out from a person's mouth so i ask when i wish to know. My life journey and My hope of finding the man i believe God has for me makes me to not assuming because of age.
  10. Ow, thank you guys,,honestly the way you putting it have eased my fear,, I am confident and talkative but this worry of not knowing how to kiss was always bugging me at the back of my mind, even though on chats ; I would say am not worried bwt t, and say uh! Am relaxed bwt that, my cousin sister started a song saying " Zokhanyo how can you relax not even knowing a deep kiss" lol... And lough a lot .... I am certainly taking each advice into consideration... Thanx for caring to answer me good ppl... May God bless u... I trust what u are telling me... I will try not to worry just as I am not worrying about sex...
  11. Hellow ppl. Am 29 never kissed a guy in my life , reason because I have never dated en to me kissing is a big deal, so I can't just kiss anyone. I always know that I have nothing to worry about sex, for it is natural and I have an imagination how it can be done, but when it comes to kissing its a different story; as I become this old am becoming to worry more and wonder how would I do it Gosh!👼 And ppl always scares me about kissing but I don't show it to them, I keep my confidence and laugh. Truth is; the thought of it really scares me off. Seriously now besides the saying that everything will just happen , how to kiss, if one could just try to break it down for me plz. And know that I am I am shy as I write this, exposing my hidden linen🙊🙈... And ppl keep on saying kiss counts a lot in giving pleasure to your partner, so if I flop in this tjoo...
  12. Belle Femme,,, I hear u but really making a first move to a guy z not in my understanding ,, and I can't say am involved in anything outside church because these activities are also within the church, en jaa will consider your confident statement 😄.. To meet more people.. Thanxu so much, for your waking up words ... And i would love to know how did you met with your hubby? Internet dating z off to me, Ts not like decent as I wish to meet my hubby🙈🙈,,, tough this side Nhee.. Ow Heavens come down...
  13. Hey Alumnis😄 I am a waiter still think am strong on my wait because of the reasons I chose to wait; which includes Wanting to share my whole to my first and only partner. I am now 29 years old and still dry in getting a man for me. I can't lie, am now feeling the pressure and Loneliness sometimes/ desire to have someone. I never dated for the same reasons, but now at this age Ts hard to be even approached by man. Even at church where I spend my most social time, they have a special respect or negligence towards me to ask me out for dating.. Since they know my stand en my story . I was fine and happy with that, but now time z ticking, en it gets me worried , I Dnt want to be 31 alone. At the same time I have no better options than to just wait for him to come, if he will ever come. Am saying this because I don't believe in a lady approaching a man for dating, or making nasty/ naughty moves to get a guy to approach me, noo that's not me, I Dnt want to push or viewed desperate that much🙊. I would love to hear from you guys , which age dd you met your partner,,how did you meet him/ her, and what can you advice for a waiter of my age( 29) who is so ready to meet her partner too but no luck being a Christian.?
  14. Ow Waitingforcarats thanxu so much for such encouraging , beautiful words. Your advices are good and a'ma try some of the things you have mentioned, like dedicating the matter in prayer / To God. May you also get your mate... Please do mention me in your prayers too😎...1Love💞thanxu..
  15. 🙈lol tjoo ,it is that time when the scale says; "Not yours and your partner please, 1 at a time" ha ha haðŸƒðŸƒ Really my high drive doesn't scare me more than it motivates me that; I would not just make a good wife in the kitchen or by morals but my husband will be satisfied dog that doesn't go for neighbour's bones.. Ha ha ha... I like the fact that many of you are this open and real about their sexual feelings, because for some reason I don't know, ppl expect me to be clueless about my sexual feelings just because I have no personal experience in doing sex. ðŸ˜like really?? I am open and not ashamed to comment on those chats, but they lough at me saying am talking bcoz of the little knowledge .. But hellow!! Who doesn't know how she feels😄😄 Am always saying I would always read a scripture from the bible for my husband, to minister him about my right of getting it all from him😄😄🙈🙈.. En ppl say tjoo they feel for him, coz he will be told that; This is God's word ... Lol indeed it will be...😄
  16. Ha ha ha, cought off guard, the usual me times are often the day dreaming times; mostly about my future achievements, my family and also about my loving, trustworthy, Strong faith and romantic future husband🙈... Tjoo I day dream of our openness to each other , playing together , even the approach he would use to propose love to me😠ow am guilty of day dreaming.. But I like coz i don't day dream about anyone I know but some1 that I still have to meet and knowðŸ˜
  17. Waitingforcats u r also welcome, as u say u r new too... Hope u enjoy✋
  18. Welcome Benjamin, it was a mouthful and encouraging introduction🎌ðŸ‘ðŸ‘.. I salute you for a beautiful choice en mostly to stick to it.. Indeed God will reward u.,Hope u relate and enjoy the site, feel free here. We are many Christians here so one grows in one or two ways✋
  19. Mh really I am amongst those who say; they don't trust dating sites/ internet dating.... I for 1 don't feel comfortable with the internet dating, because it feels I would be like too desperate if I would go there... Am a lady I don't want the sound of that, and to me how I meet my mate matters ; I hope to meet him maybe by chance, or in a decent place.... Lol In my African culture a lady that looks for a man is viewed as loose or cheap,,, Too some people get into those sites just for fooling people/ playing them around. I am holding on the waiting/ hoping upon The Lord ; to let chance bring my man... Av been 4 years past ready to meet him now ... But I haven't given up I still trust God to bring me the one who will value and love me as I love my self, as to also make it easy for me to submit to him as my head.
  20. Ey good ppl.. I would like to hear your take on this thing; I was chatting with my guy colleagues (Social Workers), talking about this waiting or rather being a virgin till my age 28 or more,,, They raised a point of the reaction of sex drive after sexual desires were always suffocated for the whole life, they said that the sexual drive or rather the period of performance (during intercourse) will be short, reason being those feelings got used in being suffocated or suppressed. I don't want to lie, it did make a sense psychologically ,, en I started to think en compare that I used to feel sexual desires/ get horney in a very burning and pressurizing way,, en it used to take a long time, en I used to squeeze my legs for that long time, but lately I notice; it is not a usual feeling anymore,, if I have it en mayb it goes away by just being ignored... The desire is not used to be fulfilled , so it will be used in just being there for a short period of time and sleep again ... Coz that's its norm lol,,, ey ppl plz share your views...
  21. Ow uhaa!,,, I want him to be my best friend, open to me about everything; temptations and how did he dealt with them, en ask advices and prayers from me, evn if its a temptation of a woman, because i know he will be tempted, then if he doesn't share those, i will be worried if how does he handle them,,, prrrr... I want him to massage my feet while seating at lounge, watch TV together ,to atlist write me a note/ letter of love once in a while... letter can be so romantic. When we visit his parents/ home maybe on a weekend, he should atlist wake up with me in the morning and accompany me to the kitchen, when i am preparing the breakfast for the inlaws... Play some games together, Share the plans of each day, to compliment en encourage each other, To build our language...*winx*.. Take a shower together... In the morning we pray together with our children when we going to work... Though we are married but he must never stop chasing en proving his love to me,, i will also never stop impressing him.. ow en lot en lot of silly jokes together, fun en more fun, love en more love....
  22. Fams

    Ow my God, it would a challenge to me, I love family, so definately I will want to know his family,, I believe we can't be visiting or visited by my family only.. Mayb ke in that way it would be their chance to reconcile,, I would talk to my husband and find if there are chances of the family reconciliation,,, It's my duty moss to come and unite the family instead of breaking it, that's what normally said to women when they get married... Infact even husbands should do the same if the wife z like that with her family. A try will atlist gives me a clear conscious u know,, I would also ask God to intervene u know.. In all it would worry me,, coz I just love people en I don't like any constant conflict, or a boundary of not communicating... But if they prefare it to be that way, after the tries, then ke I guess I can't change it, if there's peace it's fine.. I would love our children to know our families en be close with their cousins like I am with mine...
  23. Thankyou hey, am keeping positive, that my Boaz will come before that period comes...
  24. Thanxu guys for all your answeres, I can't ignore them never, they are helping me in my thoughts... So no need to worry about a lot, though ts a worry... Yhuu ay my Mr Right must just come now, before am dead with worry... lol
  25. , Ey I hear u, to be honest I have started to be worried about that, because I don't know weather my sexual desire/ performance will not drop off while my husband is still on the drive, then it will be a challenge, en maybe the husband will not be satisfied en go out of the house especially if he is not a virgin... As u say it's like they say if I don't do it now I might not be able to do it right ,, it seemed to me indeed like that, but I am used to those assumptions,, then this one of sexual satisfaction be habitant in being suppressed scares me... I even thought maybe, if I can start masturbating for a long time when am feeling horney, then maybe it would help in training the feeling to be fulfilled through sexual satisfaction , so that t can change its habit if being suppressed...