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About Labamba

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  1. Dating Abroad

    Yes I know that there are many different ways of doing a date, but that's just the thing... it's still a date. It's just something that people rarely do where I live. Most people here just go from hanging in a big group to being together, with nothing between (don't ask me how, it's actually quite weird... no wonder sweden has one of the highest rates of singles in the world!) so my point would still be that I would love to go on a "real" date - that is that it not has to be stereotypical but just a plains simple date where both know it is something more than just hanging with a group of friends as you almost always do, but with that said I wouldn't mind doing it the stereotypical way either
  2. Oh, you are so right! How many times have I not been sitting with my female friends and had to listen to all the crappy guys that they somehow often are drawn to... and I never thought I would be one of them as I always thought that I was quite realistic and sort of "saw the stereotype-macho guys for who they really were" but then I met one myself. I mean you can't decide who to or not to fall in love with and I guess many women like to believe in the better of others (I mean, what else is there to do when you really like someone who isn't sensitive/kind/caring? We can't just stop liking "them", sometimes the heart wins over the common sense...) - that the macho-guy will turn out different as soon as "he meets you"... very naive but also very true unfortunately...
  3. I haven't come across such a movie but the important thing is not that people put such things on youtube, it is that people should know that all sorts of people regardless of weight, money, education, hairstyle etc can be attractive as long as they show confidence - at least I think so. For me looks is the least important thing. I agree that he is a bit too confident, I would be a bit scared if someone came up to me that way but we are all different, that was just a little example of the non-importance of weight when it comes to flirting (a very specific and small part of this topic). If someone just came up to me and said "Hi, my name is - and I just wanted to talk to you because..." (without going on to strong like I think this guy might do in some scenes) I would totally hear that person out, even if he had a fatsuit on.
  4. Yes I agree! And I have to say that most women who would rather date a macho guy (personality not looks) than a more sensitive guy are in most cases not that interested in a serious relationship because we all know that the so called macho guy don't settle down, he's supposed to be a player and that the more sensitive guy take things more serious as you described above - at least if we look at the stereotypes... It all comes down to what sort of people we want to attract, how we are supposed to behave to attract them and then again if not being true to ourselves perhaps the people we wanted to attract in the first place are probably not the people we should attract, does this make any sense?
  5. Dating Abroad

    Wow, that sort of destroyed my image of dating in America... Haha I hate when you just hang out with a friend and they caught you off guard like "Hey, no I didn't wanted to hang out it was just a lie to get you over here to date me and now you are trapped!" I would love, for once, that (regardless of it is a typical date as seen in the movies) we both know it is a date and that we both want to take that step rather than having your friend who you never had the chance of thinking of in a different way sort of make you into a fakedate-hostage...
  6. I agree with those above who thinks that attractiveness (is that even a word?) is confidence... here is a little example: You have to love yourself first to be able to get others to love you, looks doesn't matter!
  7. Dating Abroad

    First I might say that it's not that common to date in Sweden, we just hang out in big groups and eventually couples are "made". I've never been on a real date (would love to be asked out sometime by someone who actually know what a date is and not these swedish guys who only wants to hang out as friends: no romance, pick up the girl at eight, bringing flowers, watch a movie, go out for dinner, whatever a date involves - I only know dating from the american movies...) So if someone abroad would ask me out on a real date I would totally say yes! But then, depending on how serious it gets the question of where we will live will eventually come up and I'm quite determined to settle down in my own country, but perhaps it also depends on who the person is, where the person comes from and at what stage in life we are... but a date - totally!
  8. I just have to clarify that I only speak of the personalities and the way one acts and not about the appearances, that is something totally different that has so many different factors: biological, media-influenced, cultural, religious, educational etc. Some people just can't build massive muscles or wear a bit more feminine high fashion clothes because of what they cost or have a thigh gap or have certain symbols on their clothes or skin (tattoos) and so on... I once dated a guy who had huge muscles and did body building with his friends, but on the inside he was really sensitive and calm and almost a bit "feminine" if you want to say so... Macho-guy-appearance but not a "macho guy".
  9. I feel and have also experienced that it all comes down to age/maturity. In the beginning we all want to be similar to others and so when some girls starts to notice the female media picture they adapt it to themselves and show it to their friends who also become this "type of female" that is (sadly) an outgoing-flirty-sometimes stupid-a bit quiet-needs the help of a man-woman, and the same applies for men. When one guy starts to notice the media man he suddenly adapts to it and show his friends how to be this (sadly) macho-strong-loud-often smart-showoff-guy. Some people don't fall for this "mediaimage" at all and will sadly be the weird and "different" people who do not belong to the group - because that it was it all comes down to when we are younger: to belong to a group and not be yourself or to be yourself and be an outsider. When we grow older some people break out of this bubble and some don't, perhaps due to the different roles we play in this certain group - I mean, if you are the leader of one group perhaps you don't want to leave "your position". I have experienced that most of the "leaders" to portray this horrible media image are people who come from difficult backgrounds or broken families, they have finally found a place where they actually matter, and sometimes it's noting wrong with that either... Some people will always remain either the flirty-stupid-girl or the macho-loud-insensitive-guy but I believe (perhaps I'm a bit naive but I don't care, this is what I believe) that most people actually are sensitive and care about other people but don't normally show it to others. I believe that when we are younger we all yearn for this "leader" but when we grew older and wiser we realise that the people we most want to be with is the ones staying true to themselves and aren't afraid of NOT being what society wants us to be. I think most of us have met one of these "walking media images" and seen that they mostly act when being with others but are totally different when being on their own or just around family and the "right" friends. So I hate to break it with you but I actually think that the macho guy (or the "blond" girl for that matter) doesn't exist, it's just an illusion that most people (sadly not all) get rid off over the years. The older/wiser we get the more we appreciate a "real man" or a "real woman".
  10. Swedish girl joining

    Thank you all for the warm welcome! 573V3N: thats cool, do you speak any swedish/norwegian? Francois: Tack så mycket!
  11. Swedish girl joining

    One of many examples:
  12. Swedish girl joining

    Yes, we are not that nice portrayed in movies or TV-series... Actually I live in Germany at the moment, but I will be moving back to Sweden next month and then this fall I'll be moving to France, I travel a lot... Anyway in Germany it's a bit rainy and cloudy, how is it over there (wherever you are)?
  13. Swedish girl joining

    Hi everyone (mostly on the other side of the world...) Just wanted to say hi and at the same time inform that there are people everywhere thinking about this question/decision. I travel a lot and wherever I go I always hear that swedes are supposed to be tall, blond, sexy and hang around naked on the beach... I have no idea where or from whom this prejudice originated but I'm tired of being put in a box with the word easy on it. For me there is not only the pressure of society regarding waiting but also the pressure of being "swedish" in the eyes of many people and it's not the most easiest thing to handle. I've become a member on this site to take part in forums and interesting topics, and of course it's always nice to get to know new people as well! If you want to know more about me or if you are interested in swedish society/culture you just have to ask! Kind regards, Louise